Oh, Christmas Tree!

Even though it has been four years since I stitched with the Tea and Stitch ladies, they are still contributing a tree to the silent auction. (Lest I make you think I am dancing backwards in high heels, last year I had a great deal of help on the auction from my compadre Nicole. Then this year, she took it over. The problem with the auction is it will burn you out, so we should probably rotate in a new person so they can do most of the work with an assist from me and Nicole.)

They have outdone themselves this year. I have a few snaps of their ornaments.

First the ladies had one member teach them how to make these yarn hats--they are made with yarn and a piece of toilet paper tube! And I can tell you they are cuuuuuute.

Close up. I don't know who made this one, but they were dedicated to getting the pompom right!

When I was sorting through the bag of ornaments, there looked to be a crumpled up piece of tissue at the bottom. And wrapped inside it I found this angel tree topper. I can't belive someone knit and donated this. It's amazing. 

I want this tree! But I think it is going to go for much more than it has in the past. Partly because these are great ornaments, and partly because there are a lot more people coming. 

I'll take a photo when it's all set up and let you know how much $$ it raises.

Silent Auction, version 2013

You may have thought I talked myself out about the silent auction, but that was last year's silent auction. There's a whole new year of silent auction for me to talk about! But I won't. So much. Just a little, okay? A while back the cross-stitch ladies thought that maybe they could make a set of ornaments, each person making one or two to complete a set to hang on the Christmas tree. I found a cute nativity in a book and bought some vinyl aida for us to stitch on. (I wanted perforated plastic, but I went with what I found.) When I brought it in one Friday, only one other cross-stitcher was in attendance. So I pitched the plan. And she bit...and then she stitched all of the ornaments herself. All.of.the.ornaments.

All they need is some felt and glue and they're ready to hang!

By contrast, another attendee brings me two pieces of stitching she found in a thrift store, and tells me I can finish them for the tree. Oh really? Can I? She was a little put out that I wasn't excited by this transaction. You don't say.

Old Lady Stitching

The problem with stitching with a bunch of old ladies is that their health, well, they're old! I know I've told you about my liberal friend with cancer in her jaw. Well, she has to have more surgery on her jaw. And I think I told you that the woman who knits beautiful lace hasn't been around in forever. She's a cancer survivor who got an infection and ended up having a stroke. She's lost a lot of memory and she can no longer knit complicated patterns which is a sin because her knitting was so beautiful. (I sent her a note *finally* and I think it drove home to her husband what a close-knit, pardon the pun, group we are.) Today when the librarian called, he gave her the health update and said that he might bring her by some Friday morning.

But the worst is my friend M. I just found out today that she has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I know I've talked about how she tells stories about people I don't know, and repeats her stories about people I don't know with alarming regularity. But you know what? She always asks about Stella. She always tells me when she makes the almond cake recipe I gave her. She always asks how the silent auction is going. A few weeks ago she seemed kind of yellow when she was at stitching, and I put it down to bad self-tanner. Which, frankly, I thought was out of character, but the thing I've learned about old women is you never know what they'll try next. But it was jaundice, and she has pancreatic cancer. I'm just devastated. She'll have surgery next Monday. Please keep her, and all my ladies, in your thoughts.

Mermaid Tale

When I arrived at library stitching last Friday, I realized I had forgotten my cheaters. There was no way I was going to be able to work on this dark, 30-ct fabric without magnification. Fortunately the library carries a magnifier for reading, on a stand and everything. The librarian went and fetched it for me. I'm talking to her when this newish woman wanders over and says, "Black fabric? Good luck with that!"

First of all, honey, I'm a good 20 years younger than you, and so are my eyes. For instance, they can tell that's not black, but rather a bluish steel gray. Secondly, I've already made really good progress on this. It's not like I'm just starting it and have no idea what I am getting into. Finally, who the hell taught you manners?

You might think only my nemesis could be so delicate, but apparently everyone's a critic. In fact, the influx of new people has really diluted the nemesis's sway over the group. She has been much, much quieter over the past month or so. Which is nice.

But back to the mermaid, I finished the tail and added some pink streamers.

Before:

And after:

Cross-stitch in One Day

I know that many of us see cross-stitch as a long-term commitment. Most of the pieces we stitch take a very long time indeed. And then there is the finishing. But designers know that we like instant gratification too. Last year, I did stitch two pieces for my craft-a-day undertaking. In one case, I was in the car for seven hours. So it wasn't like I had commitments. The other was stitched on the way to the airport and on the plane. Another day with lots of time and not much to do.

Yesterday, I headed to old lady stitching where I started a stitching project. I kept getting interrupted--people couldn't picture what the finishing would be--so I wasn't sure I was going to make it. I didn't spend the whole day stitching this--I do have commitments like family and pets and dinner. But I did stitch it in one day.

Wrapped around a pillow I borrowed from Stella.
Please excuse the dog hair.

 And just in case you think I started ahead of time, I've got evidence. (Apparently I watch too many shows where people get kidnapped.)

Edited: Just to be clear, this kit came prefinished. All you have to do is stitch! This is a "Top Ties" kit from Pine Mountain Designs. This particular one is from 2008, and is retired. (I bought it because it was on sale and it matched our bedroom, which I fear is like buying the art that matches the couch.)

Rhamnousia

A few loyal readers and commenters have requested a nemesis story. I've simply been forgetting what happens. Once I thought "Oh, I should write that down." And then before the end of the two hours, I had forgotten what it was. I'm useless like that.

The nemesis has been having problems, and she was away one week. When I arrived the two seats at the top of the table (where she usually sits) were empty. I took one, because I knew if she were coming, she'd already be there. One of the really good knitters came in next (she knits a lot of fabulous lace and with yummy yarns). She looked around for a seat; the only one left was the nemesis's chair. "Sit here," I said, "And then you can be the queen bee." That's what she said. I totally did not mean to say that out loud. Everyone cracked up. Someone was laughing so hard she couldn't answer when another woman asked what I had said. So I had to repeat it. And there was much repetition of the "Queen Bee" theme over the course of the day. I guess I'm not the only one...

Late for a Very Important Date

When I arrived forty minutes late to Old Lady Stitching, the room was full to bursting! I'm pretty sure there was only one regular missing. There were newbies and oldies who we hardly ever see. I had to drag a chair in from the kids' computer lab. And even though there was lots of yakking going on, I got perilously close to finishing Halloweenies. In fact, I got so close that when I came home, I sat down and did it. Not a moment too soon. I've got to get a move on with the rest of the Christmas gifts!

 

Stitched on an unknown piece of 40 count linen. One over two with the called for fibers.
"Halloweenies" by Plum Street Samplers.

I received my first Christmas present today. My nemesis is having surgery and will be away from the library for a month. I may not be so late for the next four weeks...

Still Standing

I'm sorry to have abandoned you. This getting up early three days a week to go to work is taking a lot out of me! The campus is beautiful. (It's an arboretum!) I've spent considerable time on urban campuses (since 1991), so it's a delight to be somewhere where you can, say, hear a woodpecker on the way into the office. The people are really nice, and I've come up to speed pretty quickly. I've been enjoying it.

I've also been using getting back to the blog as a reward for finishing the taxes...which I've been avoiding. Rest assured they are completed, and I have settled my accounts with the governments.

Friday stitching was a packed house with a lot of the usual suspects and a couple of newbies. We had two letters from one of the former members, the young grad student who moved home after receiving M.A. in order to fix flutes. The good news (to her) is that she is off to a PhD program. (More power to her, but forgive my cynicism.) They're very supportive of our young friend, but it's funny trying to explain graduate study to old ladies. We settled on talking about the weather the young Georgian will be facing up in Boston.

My neighbor, a widow, was telling me about this couple she used to go to breakfast with. Seems the man is now a widower, who has asked her out to breakfast again. She's not interested. I gave her my mother's advice to her children, "it's just a date, you don't have to marry him." But she thought he might be like this other fellow who bragged to his friends about how quickly he could get someone into bed although "those aren't the words he used!"

I couldn't help but tell her bestpal's mother's (also a widow) words of wisdom, "Women mourn; men replace." Another widow overheard and soon there was much laughter and yet another exclamation of "I love Fridays!"

I've been working on Star Light Star Bright by Little by Little. I am stitching with the prescribed DMC and fabric. I adore the colors on this one. So fun and bright!

Tea and Stitch Holiday Report

I am up at 6:26 am on a Saturday--actually, I've been up since 3:00--because the dog is sick. I've been massaging her belly, and now she is resting while I am...I wouldn't say wide awake, but I'm not sleeping. Yesterday at Old Lady Stitching we had our Pollyanna. Somehow, 18 people contributed and 18 people received gifts but we still had one left at the end. It was seriously weird.

I would have been devastated had it been mine (it was picked third from last). I copied a set my Stampin' Up instructor made, well the idea of it. You can see it packaged to the left. The flower piece is the flap to the plastic container--one of those sleeves you put in a three-ring binder but with the hole tab cut off. (Clever!)

I made two sets of two cards. The brown ones are birthday cards and the blue butterflies are thank you notes. The other two pieces are ruled notepads with cardstock covers.

I was up late trying to finish, and then the dog got sick. I was up at 5:30. I should have just gotten up and worked on it, but I was so tired. I finished at 9:15 (I started at 8), showered, walked the dog briefly, and raced over to the library. I'm always the last one there.

But I do have a funny story for you. One woman stood up to tell us about her latest book club book, What Alice Forgot. "It's about  a 40-year old woman who falls off her bicycle and her whole personality changes. She wakes up and thinks she's 30," the woman explains.

My friend-the-85-year-old-liberal says, "I woke up this morning and thought I was 40. So I went and looked in the mirror but this old lady jumped in there in front of me!"

I hope that translates because we were roaring!

Of course, it wouldn't be a library event without a nemesis story. She usually makes a small gift for everyone, but this year because of her eye surgery, she couldn't. Instead she participated in the Pollyanna. Before we start, she turns to the woman making the numbers and says, "I don't want to get anything Christmas (she's Jewish, but not the only one--and no one else asked for special treatment) and I can't bring home anything scented. So can you ask everyone to steer me away from those gifts." Seriously, who does that at a $10 Pollyanna. You don't like? You regift. Big whoop. Anyway, the number-woman stands up and announces this. Frankly, I was shocked. But whatever. So nemesis's number comes up. She reminds everyone what she wants. So my neighbor says, "here, open mine." (You'll notice I made something that met her criteria, but I refused to play her game.) So nemesis opens it. It's a Christmas card box. "Christmas cards?" she says in total disbelief betraying hurt and--I could tell--nascent revenge. My neighbor says, "That's not what it is! Open it!" with total disgust. I burst out laughing which was perhaps inappropriate since I was sitting next to nemesis. It was a $10 AC Moore gift card which was probably the best present there. You'd think I'd be used to her antics by now, but she always rises to new heights...or lows.

But she did give us the gift of this story, and I hope, a laugh.

The Friday Report

I know why I love my old ladies: they think I know everything. And I'm not just saying that; I am quoting. This morning, my liberal friend pulls an orange wooden thing out of her bag. It had been left in the laundry room which in her retirement home is where people leave things they don't want anymore. It looks like the one on the left except it is shaped like a little girl or doll. Above the ring, there is a head with a face painted on it, and at the bottom, the dress flares out. "Nikki, what is this?" she asks. Since I am looking at my stitching, I almost ask, "how the fuck should I know?" which is pretty much my standard answer around the house. I see the point below the dress. "A top?" Suddenly the room is abuzz! I'm a genius! "I knew you would know!" Seriously? This is who I am? Diagnoser of discarded toys? Then I am supposed to make it work again. I did say I would take it to my cousin, the mechanical engineer, but there were enough ladies there who were game enough to try to make it work. They almost succeeded. I was also asked to identify other things, like the plant "blue mist*" (caryopteris clandonensis) and what kind of show "Sprout" is and when it is on (it was filmed in one woman's neighborhood the other day). Apparently, I am a walking googlebox which is pretty good for a woman without a smart phone.

Nemesis hasn't been at these gatherings. She has something wrong with her eyes and is having surgeries. But she called me the other day. She has some plants that someone gave her, but she can't keep them because her cat tries to eat them. Would I like them? You'd think this would be a five second phone call, but no. I have to learn the circumstances under which the plants came to be in her possession, how it was she had tried to avoid receiving the plants, the other people to whom she offered them, the fact that I had to repot them and return the original pot to her, where she lived, how she might be reached and on. I have rejected so many of her offers (aging and ancient craft supplies) that I had no choice but to say yes. The fact that I have no flat surfaces on which to stash more plants was no mitigating factor.

But you know, I'll figure something out. I am a genius after all.

*A carryover from last week. I don't know this off the top of my head.  

Wacky Races

Today I was back at the library. One of the wackier women (I like her!) has been "voicing" the bear puppets another woman is knitting for a librarian's parents to take to an orphanage in Ecuador. Did you get all that? Anyway, the bears have been welcoming new knitters, commenting on our projects, and encouraging the bear-knitter to knit clothes for the puppets more quickly. It's a very silly bunch, and I like it.

We also talked about gardening which is good since the dude and I will be digging up half our front yard starting tomorrow. We've wanted to put in a path to the sidewalk for a while, and we're finally getting around to it.  We also talked about the new book about Chanticleer (reviewed today in the Ink) and the many (many, many) gardens you can visit in our area: Longwood, Chanticleer, Bartram's, Barnes Arboretum, Awbury, Bowman's Hill, Haverford College, Swarthmore College, Morris Arboretum, Temple Ambler, Medford Leas, Winterthur and on and on. There's some pretty serious gardeners among our stitchers, and it's nice to be able to pick their brains

When I got home, these scissors had arrived from Anita's Little Stitches. So cute! And trust me, I had a hard time choosing from the many cuties on the website.

Stitching with a Younger Set

Thank you so much for your kind wishes for my speedy recovery. I appreciate all your comments and messages.

On Friday, I had packed my lunch to go to old lady stitching at the library (we have lunch together on first Fridays). While I was at the hairdresser, Catherine called. As soon as I was out of the chair, I returned her call. She and some of our friends from Chadds Ford stitching were getting together. Would I like to join them?

We had a delightful lunch of peppery chicken salad made by Brett. (You remember Brett--the one who brought all her charts with her when we met at Strawberry Sampler?) Delish. We also had chips and potato salad and some of Catherine's mother's pickles. Yum...homemade pickles.

Small House, by Brown House Studio
JCS, April 2003

After we ate, we settled down to stitching. Catherine was working on Cinnamon Heart's (remember them?) Strawberry Sampler. She was doing the single strawberry. I didn't even know I owned the chart she was stitching until she showed it to me. (I never recognize the "secondary chart" some designers include. Good thing someone does!) Brett was stitching a Sampler Girl chart that I didn't immediately recognize. I can't tell you what Eileen was working on, mostly because I have a mind like a sieve but also because she was on the other side of the table from me. I worked some on the dude's anniversary present, but as it turns out, my hand does have some limitations*. I can hold the fabric, just not for long. 

I was a little out of it anyway. I think I was fighting off an infection. I had a slight fever (not high enough to warrant a doctor visit) and I've been pretty sleepy since Wednesday. (I am getting better, though, and even my temperature is back to normal.)

Catherine, who must have very high standards, told me that I couldn't tell you about the dust and vacuuming she says she neglected, but I couldn't tell you if I wanted to. I was ogling her walls. This is a very clever ploy used by many stitchers. You decorate with all of your masterpieces, and whenever other stitchers come over, you don't have to vacuum because they are too busy checking out your stitching. Catherine is one of these. She has tons of stitching on her walls (even in the bathroom) and little vignettes of smalls.  It took all of my good manners not to beg to be taken on a tour of her stitching house. (But if I get to go next time, I'll bring my spy camera and show you all. Or maybe we can just get her to give a tour on her blog.) Thanks again, Catherine!

*I also keep forgetting that I am injured and pressing down with my hand. D'oh.

F is for Friday

Today at library stitch, I outed myself. Nemesis told a story about how she was psychic, and I turned to my neighbor (the one who calls me a show off) and said, "Psychic and psycho... Oops, did I say that out loud?" She just stared at me for a second or two and then laughed. Later, she and I had a little chat. I told her that when she says how great I am at everything (finished another project, made Irish potatoes that look like potatoes) that she pisses off the nemesis. She said that she'll stop because she does try to avoid setting off the nemesis. Then she told me a story about a time that she did just that. I told her about the nemesis's "intense dislike." And she thinks the nemesis meant her. (She was not one of my early candidates.) Now I wonder how many of us think we're the individual she dislikes intensely? At least I know I'm not alone.

Last night was the Strawberry Sampler stitch-in. I came very close to finishing another big letter on the marquoir. I also had an opportunity to show off. There was a discussion about various ways of using overdyed floss, and I had done some fun things with the overdyed flosses on Love, Me. I also met a neighbor and blog reader last night who recognized me from my marquoir. (Hi, Linda!) Remember when I first met stranger-to-me blog readers? I was so embarrassed. I'm happy to report that doesn't happen any more.

Show Off

Just Nan, Screamy Mimi with Pretty Scissors

Today one of the ladies at the library called me a show off. I know she meant it playfully, but I still felt a little bad. I finished *another* piece. I had *another* pair of pretty scissors. I was working on the marquoir. Regarding the latter I will not brook name calling. That mofo is taking me forever. I am not showing off by toiling away on it. Once it is framed and hanging on my dining room wall then you can call me a show off. I won't care a whit as I will make every visitor to my house pay homage to it.

One of the nice ones asked if anyone was interested in learning about ravelry because a local shop is having a class on it. The librarian suggested that we could have a class right here! next week! Someone* declared she was not interested in ravelry--"they will steal your identity from things like that." I think there are a lot of people who give out way too much information on their blogs (their kids' whole names, for example) but puh-lease. Ravelry is where your secret-most life information will be robbed from you? Her loss. (Let's face it, the more you hear about her, the more you realize she is missing out on life.) And ours too because once again she totally shut down conversation.

Yesterday the first cards arrived for Maggie from Oneonta, New York and West Grove, Pennsylvania. Today, Yuma, Arizona. She is going to be so surprised. Also probably completely perplexed. And who doesn't love confusing the old ladies?

* Edited to add: it's the nemesis, people; of course it is.

Almost Crazy Finish

Whoop-de-doo. It's almost the end of February and I have managed to (almost) finish one of my Crazy January starts. (Just needs some more beads and green jazzy back-stitching. I need to stitch more and fret less.

Today with my old ladies, someone brought in craft supplies that another woman has been hoarding since the mid1950s. Nemesis began sorting them. She opened a box of pysansky egg decorating supplies. "This is for Nikki," she declared. I wasn't sure if it was a gift or a punishment. I mean, wtf? Why is it for me? I asked my neighbor. She responded that she has found that it is best not to argue with Nemesis. Anyway, the (complete) kit was packaged with a book from 1957. People, I wasn't even born! I thanked her and took it. I told my neighbor I might buy pysansky to bring in at Easter, but I am not making them. I gave the kit back to the librarian who knows just the person to give it to.

Speaking of old ladies, I realize we are getting closer and closer to Maggie's 89th birthday and I am no closer to having a post office box for her. I have decided you should mail your cards to me by March 7th, and I will send them on to her. I will send this information to all who responded to early posts. If you didn't respond, do so now and I'll let you know where to send the card. Not sure who this Maggie character is? Check her out.

Stitching tonight. Have to clean up around here so that things will go more smoothly this weekend when I host the gang for Sissy's birthday dinner. We're having Smoky Chipotle Chili Con Queso Mac per Sissy's request; the kids (and Jersey) are getting Tex-Mex Mac n Cheddar (with the beef but without the peppers). We're starting with PW's olive cheese bread which my sister loves. In fact, that's in my freezer all made up as we speak. Listen to me yammer on ... this joint ain't getting any cleaner.

Rolling with My Homies

Today I hung with my old ladies. We had our Valentine's Day party, but I have to say their hearts weren't in it. Where were the outrageous themed sweaters of the Christmas party? The vim they put into whipping up fancy desserts? I guess they're tired out from all the snow. (Some of them are out there chopping the ice out of their driveways, god bless them.) We were one member short today. One of my friends--let's just call her the other liberal*--had a cancer return, and she had surgery Tuesday. They think they got it all, but she's got a fair amount of  rehab to do. Keep her in your thoughts; she's a good egg. Politics aside, she buys all of Louise Erdrich's and Michael Doris's books at used bookstores--even ones she already has--because she wants them to have a good home. And she searched the riot of books at the library book sale for the third part of the Dos Passos trilogy because she didn't think it should be sold separately to the unawares. Love her! Anyway, send good healing thoughts toward Thomas Jefferson University Hospital.

But my nemesis! People, I know portraying myself as the Stitch Bitch and being a little cranky occasionally may suggest I am the type to have a nemesis, but honestly, I am not. People like me. I'm like a little Sally Field (or more likely a big one). It's impossible to say this without undermining the veracity of the statement but I am charming in real life. Anyway, today I overheard my nemesis ask the woman sitting next to her if she ever "disliked someone so intensely." The very nice woman said, "Of course, but you don't mean anyone in this room?" Nemesis made a strange nod of her head and VNW said, "really, someone here?" Now I am not taking credit for being disliked intensely. No, there are definitely a couple of other people in the running. I think she doesn't like my neighbor who tells the same stories every week in a sort of spiraling loop with a new story being added weekly for variety. But mostly the same stories. Nemesis seems to have very little regard for these spiralling stories, but our storyteller is very nice to Nemesis, so is clearly seething with venom underneath. (She actually doesn't strike me as the venomous type.) When Nemesis told us it was VNW's birthday yesterday, someone** mentioned it was George Stephanopoulos's birthday yesterday too because she wanted to tell us how crazy his wife seems when she does her GMA appearances for George's birthday. But Nemesis said, "Why am I supposed to care?" You can see she is not charming in real life. 


But she could mean me.


So you can see why I love your comments. Your notes that not only forgive me for being Dr. Johnson (not a good thing) but encourage me to be! (I shall visit his house next time we're in London.) Ones that declare your love for me. (Seriously! Love!) You even want to join my family, if not for the names, then for Maggie***. (Oh you say that now, but wait...just wait.) Anyway, thank you for allowing me to confirm that I am not universally intensely disliked. 


No sooner did I list my goals for February than I picked up Winter Peace. I am short one floss color {Sugar Plum} so I won't be able to finish it any time soon (the local shops seem to be out). Instead, I picked up Screamy Mimi which is on the list. And thus order has returned to my life. 


Order and rainbows and unicorns. Thanks.


*She's always bringing me political cartoons that she gets a huge kick out of, but none of the other ladies enjoy them half so much.
**She doesn't have much of a life since she lost her job, also two years ago. She tells us about what she watches on teevee. Harmless and occasionally interesting if mostly because I can hear about George Stephanopoulos's crazy wife without having to watch GMA.
**Maggie is also a Marguerite, Melissa D.

Library Ladies

My old ladies were on fire today! First, I got hell that the cake recipe I gave out (the cake I made for the 4th of July party) didn't work! (I xeroxed it from the book!) But I got a recipe in return anyway, one for brown edge wafers. (Missy, need another cookie recipe?) It was her grandmother's recipe. She kept telling me it was an old recipe.

Before Marcia left, she showed us the mask her sister crocheted for her. (Unfortunately she couldn't make it for the mask party.) Someone suggested that Josephine should pack it in her purse so that she can always have it available if she forgets her luggage. That way she could put it on, and no one would recognize her as she ran around naked. Josephine tried to fit the mask over her ample bust. I am telling you, you cannot contain these old broads.

We planned our Thanksgiving parties and Christmas. I'd love to give everyone a little something for Christmas. Something a little handmade. Probably a card would be best. Remind me to keep thinking small. But if you have a good idea, let me know.

Thanks for the love for the dresses. This weekend we're going to get the invitations. This wedding thing is shaping up!

I will get more progress photos up--the weather this weekend will cooperate, allegedly.

Teacher, Teacher

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths theater.  ~Gail Godwin

At the library Gala a couple of weeks ago, I was introduced to the teen librarian as "a knitter." When I corrected my introducer that I was a cross-stitcher and general crafter, the teen librarian perked up; "we have a craft group, if you ever want to come teach." And since I was halfway into my cosmopolitan, I volunteered to teach cross-stitch. "I could teach a cross-stitch bookmark since it's for the library!" A few weeks later I got the call, and next Tuesday I'll be holding forth in front of a couple of teens. (Over the summer they had about a dozen kids, but reports are the numbers have declined because of sports and other after school programs.)


I have written to Heather Holland-Daly (monsterbubbles) and she has consented for us to use her patterns. We're using the Three Bracelets pattern and stitching on perforated paper.


I've gathered all the materials we'll need: paper, floss, patterns, needles, and scissors. I've made a list of ideas I need to teach:

• Stitching on perforated paper: smooth side
• Start in center
• "Rules"--no knots; top-down
• Show how to make the ex
•  Show how to anchor the thread

I'll be searching for a good diagram for making the cross, and for how to start and end stitches.

I've got the three-fourths theater sewn up, so how's my preparation? (I have to tell you I've done a lot more prep already for these two weeks than for the three times per week for three weeks teaching an intermediate project to Polish speakers.) Any other ideas?

SBQ: September, Or You Weirdo

Today's library stitching was a laugh riot. Josephine told us the story about heading up to the mountains at Labor Day to stay in a cabin with her sister. "I'll bring the food," Josephine tells her. She packs up cheese and crackers, candy, lunch meat, rolls, fruits and veggies. And takes the two hour drive (probably longer because they're in their mid-to-late 80s) up to the mountains. She and her husband unload the car. Josephine turns to Benjamin and says, "Go get the luggage." "What luggage?" he asks. They had neglected to put it in the car. There she is in a cabin with her sister and brother-in-law and no pajamas. She was so worried about having to use the bathroom in the middle of the night and being caught with no clothes on, so she wrapped herself in the sheet to visit the loo. She also slept on the edge of the bed. "All I could think was what if Benny puts his hand on my rump in the night!" The way she was talking, you would have thought it was her first long weekend away with a new boyfriend. It was hilarious. Her sister lent her a pair of slacks (size 20, which Josephine is not) and took her to the Family Dollar store. Her description of her new bra was so funny, and made me wonder what kind of undergarments older women usually wear. (It was an "uplifting experience" for the old broad.) She bought a oversized sweatshirt that said "Do Not Disturb: I'm Already Disturbed" to sleep in. Just her delivery of that line was worth the price of admission. I hope everyone starts leaving their luggage behind!

(In his defense, her husband was recently hospitalized with dehydration and told not to lift anything over five pounds.)

Speaking of dehydration, Mabel has been moved to an assisted living facility. Probably for the best because even before the dehydration incident she had burned herself with scalding water and had had a fight with a bee that got in her house resulting in several stings. I think she was ready. The facility is about an hour away, and everyone took her address so I'm sure she will have a healthy level of communication with the group.

This month's SBQ from Lee:

Is there anything that you do while you are stitching that is kind of weird or unusual? A quirky habit maybe? Or anything that you do that makes you think, Hey...I wonder if anyone else does this?

When I am getting down to the end of the floss, and I only have a couple of stitches to do, I will push the eye end of the needle through the fabric. Heck, I even make stitches using the dololly if I'm desperate.

Also, I sit through the commercials while I am watching shows on the DVR. I can't be bothered to put down my stitching to fast forward through them.

Football Season Begins!

I am sorry to have abandoned you. I've been stitching. A great deal. And now I am getting ready for the Season of Stitch Ass. I wonder sometimes if I love football for the game itself or for the necessity of sitting down all weekend which means I'll pick up a needle.

At Friday stitching, my nemesis was there. She's always there, but we had a particularly humorous round this week. This woman is 70something, disabled, and has an opinion on everything. Not an opinion really, THE opinion. If I say something is black, she will, with great authority, declare it white. This week someone mentioned she had a couch she wanted to give away. Nemesis told them to put it on Freecycle. Having recently joined Freecycle, I thought Craig's List might offer her an easier way to go--no joining up, one and done sort of thing. She said, "No! Don't put it on Craig's List! They are under investigation right now." Of course that investigation doesn't have anything to do with giving stuff away for free, but that didn't matter a bit. She would have none of it, even though many of us have had plenty of positive transactions on Craig's List. Later, we were talking about M*A*S*H. I have this silly little story about Alan Alda. It's like a parody of name dropping. I was once a seat filler at a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie premier. At the post film reception, I was talking to some other seat fillers when Alan Alda, who was standing behind me, swung around with arms akimbo and elbowed me. He apologized to me, very nice guy. So I tell my Alan Alda story.

First she calls me a name dropper. Come on, does that story make me sound like I'm friends with Alan Alda? I was a seat-filler. I'm pretty sure I know my place in the hierarchy. Then she asks for the deets. When I say it was a Hallmark film, she says, "I won't have anything to do with Hallmark." Which is just awesome. Kind of like when my students were writing papers and using the phrase, "uncalled for behavior." The "uncalled for behaviors" students wrote about included homosexuality, the Tiananmen Square massacre, and Saddam's invasion of Kuwait. Both are such a bizarre application of phraseology. The kids clearly thought that their mother's or teacher's reprimand described The.Worst. And for some reason Hallmark deserves to be shunned. I'm not sure I understood her critique. But I do know that I was somehow tainted for attending a Hallmark Hall of Fame premier. I'm an agent of the devil.

I do try to keep a sense of humor about it. After all, I get out a lot more than she does, and my life, from what I have been able to gather, is a lot easier. But it can be a little frustrating to have her hijack every conversation, hold forth loudly on every issue, tell experienced knitters how to best to achieve their knitting goals. I'm jealous of the people who can turn off their hearing aids.

Above, Scared Silly BOAF called for fabric and threads. Don't you love how the yellow looks like it's going to stand out and scream for notice, and the orange sort of absorbs it and instead the yellow is just a harmonizing note? On the Tree of Life Window, I'm trying to put in a length of floss every day so that I can get through all that backstitching.