Grammar Bitch

For at least a year, maybe two, I've been wanting to start a new blog, Grammar Bitch. The idea was to go about my daily life with a camera to document bad grammar and give little lessons about the world gone wrong. All those misplaced apostrophes are just waiting for me to come along with a metaphorical red pen. (Graffito, "Jesus Save's," gave me the idea.) I never thought of doing something like this. But I would. Can you see it? A band of editors set loose (loose!) on America... You can follow the journey here.

#30: Home Alone

I made a giant list of things to do while the dude was gone. I haven't done very many of them. But these are things I do when the dude leaves me home alone...

1. Stay up way too late. I don't know why I can't make myself go to bed. When I'm gone, he doesn't go to bed either. When we're both here, we manage to go to bed within half an hour of our bedtime.
2. Eat badly. Saturday night was different because we did "Sunday dinner" at the hibachi place. But Friday night? Bag of popcorn and two diet cokes. And things didn't go well tonight either: pasta, butter, cheese.
   
3. Clean instead of doing things on my list. I don't know what gets into me. I hate cleaning. I think it's because when I am home alone, I'm the only one responsible for mess. When the dude's here, I just resent the fact that I have to pick up after him (it's sort of irrational, because he does help).
   
4. Spend too much money. I went to Target for bras, sunglasses, and soap. Let's just say a lot of things jumped into the basket. Then I went to Lowe's and bought a sucking leaf mulcher. (Cousin's husband thinks I should return it because he has one that we can have.) And there were two trips to Joann's (mostly because different stuff was on sale on Saturday and Sunday).
   
5. Watch too much crap tv.
   
6. Enjoy the quiet. There is something wonderful about being in charge of the computer, the remote, the time you eat, the things you eat, the time you go to bed...all the comings and goings. Only one more day...
   

List #29: Worked on this Week

I finished the mermaid. I am going to send it to my mother at the beginning of the week with a gift certificate for framing.

This is my second pearl knotting class and this one was a little easier because of the space between beads, but the three threads kept knotting up, so a little harder too. It matches the skirt I wore on Wednesday. I like to make jewelry to match what I am wearing. That way, you know you have something that goes with the thing you made. Because it's simply too much for me to try to remember what's in my wardrobe!

The messenger bag will be completed on Monday, so I'll wait until then to show it off. Right now it's just a few pieces sewn together.

I have two days left to finish some projects. Maybe I'll try to do that this evening.

List #28: Camp, the Shopping List

Today, I was kidnapped from work by a dear old friend. We went to a new fabric store, Spool, a next-door sister-store to Loop. They had lots of Amy Butler fabrics and some other cool stuff. I bought this fabric to do another messenger bag. Because, you know, I haven't finished the first one yet. I like biting off too much to chew. It keeps me quiet.

In one short week, I'll be waking up in Tulsa-adjacent at the Silver Needle camp. Usually 4-5 of us go, but between new babies and new dogs, we're down to two this year. I guess we're just going to have to make new friends. Or eat fried pickles all by ourselves! I'm down with that.

Here is my shopping list for camp:

• Green Snowman kit, Shepherd's Bush
• Red Snowman kit
• 25 Days, SamSarah
• and buttons, buffalo check linen, linen for ornaments
• I Thee Wed, Blackbird
• Herb Garden, Little House Needlework
• May Pole, Bent Creek
• Deep Blue Sea, Carriage House Samplings (and weaver cloth)

Fabric for

• Curly Q Ewe, LHN
• Flea Market Souvenir, Blackbird
• Star Light Star Bright, Little by Little
• Spots II, Lilybet
• Skeleton Crew, Cricket
• Off the Deep End, Raise the Roof
• Lady Gray, Lilybet

And when I got home, more fabric for messenger bags from Keepsake Quilting.


So I guess the theme for the rest of April will be New Starts!

List #27: Unknown Vintage

The dude is off to England. It's his father's 75th birthday. Even though we were just in England and it costs a freaking fortune and the dollar is in the shitter, the dude is on his way. His father wouldn't take no for an answer. You may remember he wouldn't take no for an answer last October either. But I shouldn't complain, I'm not on my way to England for a long weekend. The good thing is that I am in total control of the working computer for four days. Hahahahaha!

Here is the last list of stitched pieces. These are the ones that I have no idea when I stitched. Well, I have some idea. They were all stitched between 1997-2003. Some I can narrow down a bit more, some not. We'll have to form a support group so we can learn to deal.

• Santa Vest Hollie Designs. For my mom who loves Christmas. I took this in a class at SOCS just so we can help date it. It uses all sorts of fuzzy fibers and overdyed flosses. It's beautiful and she wears it every year.
• Sew Simple Vest 15 Hollie Designs. I bought this after the aforementioned class. It didn't take long to stitch, and I have worn it. But vests are kind of out. And dorky.

• Willow's Garden Tin Topper Samplers and Such. Stitched for my MIL, stitched the Christmas before everyone got one.
  
• Sweet Spring Garden, Elizabeth's Needlework Designs. Definitely stitched for my mother before I stitched Blossom which led to her remark about "small pieces." Of course, all the while I was planning/toiling away on the Floral Afghan.
• Plum Pudding Ewe & Eye & Friends. See 1999 for the story on the puddin'. I just can't not stitch plum pudding.
• 

• Bristol #1 Tin Topper Samplers and Such. Stitched for my SIL the year after I stitched the one for my MIL. My SIL went to Bristol. She was an art history major so this wasn't lost on her.
• Rice Stitch Mosaic Tin Topper Samplers and Such. Do I ever talk about how much I love the rice stitch? I love the rice stitch. I don't know who I stitched this for, but I don't have it.
• Florentine Stitch Tin Topper Samplers and Such. I stitched this one for my cousin on my mother's side who I never talk about.
• Knot Garden Tin Topper Samplers and Such Stitched for Sissy, the year everyone got tin toppers. And I mean everyone.
  
• Purple Heart, Ewe & Eye & Friends
  

• Queen of Hearts, Charland Garvin, Cross Stitch and Country Crafts. I played fast and loose with this band sampler. I started it with intentions of it being a wedding sampler for the dude's friends, but I finished it after they separated so it went to my mother. It hangs in her powder room.
• Wee Baby HIHN for the dude's best friend's baby. I know I've talked about this one--Oh, and there we go, we placed it!
  
• Peter's Stocking Shepherd's Bush for the dude. This was the first one I stitched.
• Sophie's Stocking Shepherd's Bush for me. Second.
• Mary's Stocking Shepherd's Bush for Sissy. Third. So these predate the ones of known origin. I should be an archaeologist.
  
• Bumble Bunny Twisted Threads, I stitched this for Lala's room when she was a baby--2000-2001. It's still in her room, just no record of stitching it.

• Going to Market, Dimensions. I picked the name of my cousin-who-traveled-to-Africa one Christmas so I stitched this. I really liked how the background was stitched. She loved it, used to bring it in to her classroom to talk about Africa.

List #26: Short List

Craft smells I love:

1. Stayzon ink
2. The smell of cake lingering in my cousin’s kitchen

What about you?

List #25: 2003

Work sucks. Today in a meeting about the only aspect of my job that I enjoy, the grandboss suggested we get freelancers to do it instead of me. Remember when I had that meeting with the grandboss around Christmas? I told her it was the only thing I enjoyed doing. Fuck her. I've got better things to do. I have an application winging its way to a little college nearby, and I'm hoping they want me to edit their communications. Please. Plus my arm is killing me. I had a procedure yesterday, and the parts that were supposed to bruise haven't, but my arm really hurts. I'm very cranky and I can't wait to go home.

I know I started this blog in 2003, but not until August. I stitched a few pieces before then. Unfortunately, no photos. What can I say, I suck.

• Wreath Wedding Marilynn and Jackie's Collectibles. For my cousin's wedding. She is likely the last cousin whose wedding I will stitch for*. I wish I had a photo of this one. I wish Marilynn and Jackie had a website. The background is pink stripes and the center has a grapevine wreath with the couples stats in it. Pink and brown before pink and brown were Pink.And.Brown.
• A Free Heart Kandace Thomas. You knew you were going to see this one again! For the dude's friend's second marriage. Oh, I almost forgot the piece I redesigned for his first marriage and then gave to my mother instead**. That must have been...late 90s? So much for all the admiration I earned two weeks ago for the deliciously detailed records I kept about my stitching!
• Cabbage Hare, Ewe & Eye & Friends stitched for my "Sweet Baby's" brother. I wanted the two pieces to have the same feel, so I went with another animal from E&E&F and used the same alphabet for the stats.
  

*I only have two unmarried cousins--one is a "troubled young woman" who is unlikely to find a suitable mate and the other is rumored to be gay. Plus my father fired both him and his mother from the family business so I'm unlikely to be invited to whatever kind of ceremony he may have in the future. Don't you love families?

**They were divorced before I finished it. Or maybe I knew to drag my feet?

List #24: Photos from My Cousin's House

Yesterday, the failed Catholics, an athiest, some pagans, and a former Quaker got together and celebrated Easter. I know some people think its crazy that people who don't believe in God celebrate Christmas, but even I agree that the unbelievers celebrating Easter is nuts. Sissy almost got into the spirit. She called my cousin to find out when the church in near her was holding masses, and my cousin called around to find the answer for her. She got back to Sissy who responded, "Jesus... I was hoping for something a little later." So you can see this religion thing is really working out for her. Anyway, we managed to hide the 54 eggs for the kids only once. (I'm pretty sure two years ago we hid them one trillion times.) And only uncle dude had to go looking for them after Yay-o had hidden them. At least he was indoors. I froze my butt off "hiding" the eggs.

So, I kept my promise of bringing the camera with me, though a few things went unrecorded.

The wedding sampler (discussed here) that led to the blog name. I tried to get a close up of all those color changes, but failed. Some days I swore that each square was a different color. Of course all those HAED stitchers will think I'm just a pussy.


The finishing on the pillow for my niece. My cousin ended up cutting off the trim because someone was pulling at it and little bits of fluff were ending up everywhere. My cousin is a neat freak. It's probably for the best because it wasn't sewn on evenly.


The dragonfly tin topper. Discussed here. Very sparkly in real life.


The birth sampler that I designed to fit into the bear frame. You can see the bee table in the background--there are matching chairs and bureau too. It was quite a cute room.

Bunnies in my Garden

I made these bunnies from recycled sweaters following (sort of) betz white's directions here [PDF]. I added a little pocket on the back; my plan was to put a candy bar in there, but it came out a little small so I stuck in a fiver. I didn't have the equipment to do needlefelted accents, so I appliqued the hearts on. I also wish I had a pompom maker but AC Moore was closed today, go figure. Betz makes this all look easy, but it was a little harder than I anticipated. That pink bunny was made with an old cashmere sweater in which I recently discovered a hole. It stretched something fierce when I sewed it. Especially the little heart appliqued onto the white bunny. I may have been better off if I had fused it first, but you don't always think of these things at 10pm. The ears are lined with a little scrap I had left of purple crocus fabric. Astute readers will notice the irony. The bunnies are posed with the crocuses I was bragging about yesterday. Apparently I have to stand out there with the shaker of cayenne to protect the crocuses. Live and learn.

List #23: Book Meme IV

These are the top 106 books most often marked as “unread” by LibraryThing’s users [AVS note: according to someone on the internet; and I can't seem to find this one's origin either. So I don't know if these are still the top 106 unread.] As usual, bold what you have read, italicize what you started but couldn’t finish, and strike through what you couldn’t stand. Add an asterisk* to those you’ve read more than once. Underline those on your to-read list.***********

I think it would be interesting to know which ones people also own but have not read since that is the point of this list. If I don't own it, I shouldn't be responsible for reading it, right? How can we mark that? There's nothing left! I'll use a + at the beginning of the title. But then, a lot of these books are one's we own but have been read by the dude; if he buys and reads them, am I responsible for reading them too?

Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
+ Anna Karenina (I read a paragraph but they didn’t ask us to read any more of it, so I didn’t. So it’s not so much that I couldn’t finish as I just didn’t.)
Crime and Punishment
Catch-22
One Hundred Years of Solitude
Wuthering Heights
The Silmarillion
+ Life of Pi
+ The Name of the Rose
Don Quixote
Moby Dick
+ Ulysses
+ Madame Bovary
+ The Odyssey
Pride and Prejudice*
Jane Eyre
+ A Tale of Two Cities This was one of the books I took out of the library during my "summer of improvement reading" between high school and college. The only book I actually made it through was Old Man and the Sea. And a couple of chapters about American history.
The Brothers Karamazov
+ Guns, Germs, and Steel
+ War and Peace
+ Vanity Fair
The Time Traveler’s Wife
+ The Iliad
Emma*
The Blind Assassin* (dissertation material)
+ The Kite Runner (My MIL bought this for me. Maybe someday.)
Mrs. Dalloway
+ Great Expectations
American Gods
A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
Atlas Shrugged
Reading Lolita in Tehran
Memoirs of a Geisha
+ Middlesex
Quicksilver
+ Wicked
+ The Canterbury Tales (Again, they only asked me to read parts.)
+ The Historian
+ A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
+ Love in the Time of Cholera
Brave New World*
The Fountainhead
+ Foucault’s Pendulum
+ Middlemarch
Frankenstein*
+ The Count of Monte Cristo
Dracula
+ A Clockwork Orange
Anansi Boys
The Once and Future King
+ The Grapes of Wrath
The Poisonwood Bible
1984
Angels & Demons
The Inferno
The Satanic Verses
Sense and Sensibility
+ The Picture of Dorian Gray
Mansfield Park
One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
To the Lighthouse
Tess of the D’Urbervilles
+ Oliver Twist (But I read the dude’s dissertation about it…)
+ Gulliver’s Travels
+ The Corrections
Les Misérables
+ The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay (The dude liked this so maybe I’ll read it.)
+ The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time (See above.)
Dune
The Prince
The Sound and the Fury If it wasn’t this one it was another Faulkner.
Angela’s Ashes
The God of Small Things
A People’s History of the United States: 1492-present
Cryptonomicon
Neverwhere
A Confederacy of Dunces A boyfriend read this to me, but I always fell asleep. We broke up. I never finished.
+ A Short History of Nearly Everything (It’s not short enough. Still, I have that challenge of completing his oeuvre.)
+ Dubliners
The Unbearable Lightness of Being (It was unbearable.)
Beloved* (dissertation)
Slaughterhouse-Five
Eats, Shoots and Leaves
The Scarlet Letter*
The Mists of Avalon
Oryx and Crake
Collapse
Cloud Atlas
The Confusion
+ Lolita
Persuasion
Northanger Abbey
The Catcher in the Rye
On the Road* (undergraduate thesis)
The Hunchback of Notre Dame
+ Freakonomics
Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
+ Aeneid
Watership Down
Gravity’s Rainbow I want to finish this. I love Pynchon, but it’s so damn long. Though not as long as Against the Day which the dude is reading now. He has a theory about reading Pynchon—just push through and don’t worry that you can’t keep track of what is going on.
The Hobbit (I had this read to me in third or fourth grade and I didn’t really like it.)
+ In Cold Blood
White Teeth
Treasure Island
David Copperfield
The Three Musketeers

I can’t believe how many of these books I have never heard of. I’m just going to assume they are on the best seller list now and completely unworthy of my attention. Or, they are science fiction. Or maybe historical novels.

What's curious about this list, all these lists really, is the total randomness of it. I don't own all these books; they're not on my Library Thing. Should I be embarrassed about not reading them?

List #22: Worked on this Week

They promised us snow today, but instead my crocuses opened. (You'll note the lack of snow in this photo.) This was my first foray into gardening with bulbs. People in my neighborhood have lots of trouble with the squirrels and other wee beasts stealing them. Crocuses are apparently a favorite of our wildlife, but I bathed the bulbs in cayenne and sprinkled it liberally in the holes and successfully repelled all comers.

Turning to stitching, things have really devolved, people. I've cast the rotation aside entirely and taken up stitching for other people! What has the world come to?

• Mother's Day Roundabout by Heart in Hand Needlework. Started it on Saturday night while we were babysitting the kids and finished it on Monday (no sewing class this week, spring break). I've already sent it off for finishing.

• Why Men Fish by Sue Hillis Designs. My mother's birthday is in two weeks. I know she wants this for her mermaid bathroom, so it needs to be framed with glass. Why did I wait so long to start?
• 

• Even though we didn't have sewing class, I figured I could manage to put together a few strips of fabric on my own. I also quilted it. Don't look too closely, it took me a while to get the hang of the wavy lines; I stitched those with rayon thread so they'd stand out a bit more. I didn't put the wavy lines on the aqua strips because I like the geometric pattern too much to mess with it.
  

List #21: 2002

Happy Spring. Little green things are bursting forth in my garden including the crocuses and daffodils. How happy.

Although none of us is religious, we're having Easter dinner at my cousin's. I think this just means we're having ham instead of another part of the pig for dinner. I'm not really a ham fan. When we were kids, I used to eat warm pineapples with the pineapple glaze and no ham at all at Easter, the kind where you actually go to church. I do like a good salty, salty Virginia ham. Maybe it's the salt? I'm in charge of dessert, and I have no idea what to make. My cousin bakes cakes, so that's right out. We do cookies and ice cream a lot (the dude makes the ice cream and I usually make the molasses cookies) {that's how you can tell I'm from New England}. The kids are going to be mainlining candy, so I think I'd like to make something adult for dessert for a change: frozen lemon mousse? lemon-berry pudding cakes? Lemons add that happy touch of spring.

---

In the spring of 2002, I defended my dissertation. I had a lot more free time all of a sudden.

• Christmas Heart, Birds of a Feather, JCSO. Another ornament in the finishing pile.
• Angels Oer This House Chessie and Me, for Mr. & Mrs. Brave Astronaut. But I didn't take a picture of it.
• Sweet Baby, Ewe & Eye & Friends 6/7/02 For my first nephew. I changed the saying to birth stats. Even though I put it in the mail to England, I never photographed it. What a twit.
• The Marriage Sampler Hillside Samplings. For my cousin. Just the center motif. I don't like the wife that much.
• The Marriage Sampler Hillside Samplings 6/21/02 For my sister-in-law. The whole thing this time. Because she's blood and I like her husband.
• Dragonfly tin topper Samplers and Such 8/4/02. For my cousin for Christmas.
• Rose Eyeglass case needlepoint kit 9/29/02. For my MIL for Christmas.
• Thanksgiving Silver Needle Night kit 8/10/02. The Thanksgiving hat is on the fabrics I've chosen to make this into a wall hanging. But I didn't record when I did the deer (November), the witch's brew pot (September), or the apple (August). The only one that I finished was the witch's pot; my coworker was a practicing witch, and I finished that for her. Again, you will notice how close I am to finishing the deer. All I need to do is slap in the batting and sew up the edges. I think I need an intervention.

• Bertie’s Stocking Shepherd's Bush 8/14/02 for Mom. This is finished because I started with one of those prefinished stockings. Now I kind of wish I didn't. The ones I made for Lala and Yay-o are so much nicer. But each family member has a finished stocking, and, as you may have pieced together, I have finishing issues.
• Robert’s Stocking Shepherd's Bush for Dad. The year I gave my parents these stockings, I changed out their old ones after everyone was in bed instead of wrapping them up. It took my mother forever to notice, but my dad--the one who didn't notice I had gotten a haircut when I came home with a mohawk--noticed right away.
• Leopard eyeglass case needlepoint kit, 2002. Stitched for my grandmother, the leopard grandmother.
• Mary Englebreit-style change purse needlepoint kit 9/29/02 Stitched for my aunt. Interestingly, I didn't record the fact that I stitched this for myself as well, the eyeglass case and the change purse. Did I do it before or after these Christmas gifts?
• Spring is in the Air, The Trilogy, JCS magazine. Not crazy about the framing on this, I can always have it redone.

List #20: 2001

I'm trying to think of something interesting to say as a lead in for the list. But I'm a little fagged. In the past three days I have been to several meetings which have just confirmed how much I need a new job. I work for assh*les and idiots. Today the grandboss called the consultant, Jan, "Dzan"--like the woman's name--rather than Yan, even though we all call him Yan and his partner's name is Hans just, you know, as a clue Swiss, not...whatever. But wait, there's more. At the all-staff meeting, we were told a committee was going to be formed to examine "work issues" like promptness and responsibility and veracity. I'm jockeying to get appointed to head the committee because we need a shit-stirrer in charge of that pot. Someone who will say, you want us to take responsibility? Why don't you model that behavior? (You know they're going to appoint a committee of slave-mentality types who will say what the bosses want them to say. The bosses deserve to get me.)

So 2001. I'm nearing completion on the dissertation. I'm working full time heading an ORU at the university. I'm filling my days while the dude commutes 2 hours (rt) teaching in Claremont--some days he works so many hours that I see him while he eats dinner and that's it.

• Lala's sampler I designed this myself to go in the frame. When I saw the frame--a flat white wooden frame with a wooden applique bear surrounded by bees--I knew I had to make something to fit in it. They were decorating the baby's room with bees. My sampler has skeps, bees, rhodes hearts, and birth stats in pink, gold, and aqua. Maybe I'll get a photo on Sunday.
• Folk Art Santa pin, Mill Hill 3/7/01. Unlike the tipsy tree, this one was finished as a pin and worn the next season.
• Acorn, I took a class at Needles and Niceties in celebration of some anniversary or other. The Bent Creek sisters taught the class. They were great! 3/15/01

• Starlight Santa, Sandy Cozzolino 3/16/01. Another perforated paper Santa for the tree. At least these get finished and make an appearance annually.
• Renaissance Angels, Mill Hill 3/17/01. You've seen this. It's the emergency present I finished for my aunt a couple of years ago. So it only took me five years from completion to finishing. Excellent.
• Babo Natale, Sandy Cozzolino 3/17/01. Another perforated paper Santa for the tree.
• Birth Sampler for Bailey, Twisted Threads. Stitched for Yay-o. 6/24/01 This one was just too damn cute.
• Blossoms, The Trilogy 7/26/01 I worked on this on our "extra" day in Alaska on our honeymoon. Our tiny fishing village was socked in with fog, and we couldn't get to the airport in Juneau. When I gave this to my mother, she said, "Am I only getting small pieces from now on?" Nice. I know she can sound like an evil one, but she has lots of redeeming qualities.
• Christmas Spider, Lizzie*Kate, JCSO 11/19/01. Lesson, always buy the charm of projects you want to stitch when they are released. It took me years to track these down.






• Bah Humbug, Curtis Boehringer, JCSO, 11/28/01. See photo from yesterday. I made this for my father but {the chorus joins in, all together now} I never finished it!
• Happy Winter, SamSarah, JCSO 11/30/01 (See photo above.) Happy indeed--a checkered tree.
• Two by Two Deer, Prairie Schooler, JCSO 11/30/01. (See photo above.) Remember when I stitched the reindeer pillow for Sissy last Christmas because she has a reindeer collection. Yes well, I stitched this for her and {the chorus joins in, all together now} I never finished it!
• Angel of Joy, Bent Creek, JCSO (twice--one for each niece). I changed the eye and hair colors to match my nieces, but the finishing on these is attrocious. I think I just glued on a paper backing. I know! Don't even...
• Christmas Cardinal, Kitty and Me, JCSO 12/01 Stitched for my personal trainer, from NC one of the many states that has the cardinal as their state bird. He was very touched.

List #19: 2000

I didn't record any major projects this year, but I must have done some. Or maybe the dissertation was the major project? I also started working full time in 2000, so maybe that was it? I did stitch a lot of Christmas ornaments. Why are they still not on the tree? What is up with me and finishing? I have a lot of questions this morning, but few answers.

• Leisure Arts Big Book of Baby Bibs, Bees For the baby-to-be, 1/13/2000. Stitched on a prefinished bib. She was a hefty baby, and it fit her for about a week. Oh well.
• Frosty, Ewe and Eye and Friends, JCSO 2/10/00
• Hearts Entwined, Moss Creek, JCSO 2/15/00

• The Once-a-Year Visitor, Mosey 'n Me, JCSO, 2000 Notice the pathetic half finishing. I've made the pillow; I've stuffed it; I've pinned on the handmade twisted cording. Who am I kidding?
  

Joy, June Grigg, JCSO 2/15/00. I'll admit it: I took the pictures with no regard at all for which ornaments were stitched in which year. It's the one on the far right. Again with the pinned on cording. I did learn how to attach it!

• Traditional Santa Sandy Cozzolino 4/4/00. I don't know why I actually tracked this one; I have a whole treeful of these ornaments that I can't tell you when I stitched. Also, I probably can't tell you which one this is.
• Snow Fun Imaginating JCS Ornament 7/8/00. This ornament was a snowman with a little cat in a basket. I gave it to my framer who did a huge favor of framing something for me two days before Christmas. It was just a tiny little thing and I had the frame. She didn't charge me, so I sent her this. She has a shop cat, a giant lazy friendly shop cat. I should probably still be sending her little stitched kitties...
• Itty Bitty Forever and Ever, Twisted Threads. I saw this at my cousin's house this past weekend which is the only way I remember that I stitched it! This is the thing that got framed no charge days before Christmas. It's stitched over one. Why did I forget my camera?
• Rainbow Trout A Jane Greenoff kit my MIL gave me one Christmas. 7/9/00 I don't really know what to do with this... I mean, it's a fish.

• Wee Chicken Heart In Hand Needlework, Stitched for my mother. 7/27/00
• No Humbugs Sisters and Best Friends. I did this over one on the wrong size fabric so now even the tiniest JABC Christmas light buttons look huge on it. So it remains unfinished. (Unfortunately this is the one where Santa is tied up in the cord from the lights, and it really needs the bulbs. Or we could just make up a story about a Santa bondage scandal...)

List #18: 1999

My cousin thinks we made a rookie mistake with the jacket situation, so the dude slept better last night. The kids are off this week so they're coming to the city because they love riding the train. We're going to dim sum tomorrow. Mmmmm, dim sum.

---

Nineteen ninety nine was a pretty big year with lots of people undertaking "millennial" projects. (I'd love to take a poll to see how those fared.) I did not. I didn't see that many that I liked but also knew that I'd be one of those people trying to decide how to make my millennial project relevant when I finally put it on the wall in 2015. I did find other ways of making it a bang up stitching year: I stitched lots of ornaments; I started stitching for the baby-to-be (Lala); and I made something pretty monumental for Sissy's 30th birthday.

• Sue Stokes ornament from Celebrations of Needlework in NH 5/8/99
• Summer is a Cumin' in Moss Creek Designs 5/9/99. This was a project I started in Sacramento 1997 with Rae Iverson. And, it turns out, I came thisclose to meeting Jo in that class. (Don't look too close, major mistake.)

• Holly Berry Heart, Sweetheart Tree, Just Cross Stitch Ornament Issue (JCSO) 5/20/99
• Swedish Christmas &etc Mary Garry's Sewing Cabin, JCSO 5/27/99
• Christmas Orchid, The Lilac Studio, JCSO 6/1/99
• Christmas Eve Ornament, Graphs by Cheryl & Barbara, JCSO, 6/6/99
• 1996 Annual Ornament—Fir Tree Heart's Content. I've stitched three of these and have about three more kits unstitched. I know the tree says 1998, but I think I just stitched that part in 1998 and had a major case of wishful thinking! (Much like the 1997 on the pudding finished in 1998.)
  
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• Woodland Noel, Heart in Hand Needlework, JCSO, 11/13/99
• Love Blocks, Mosey ‘n Me for Lala. I started very many projects for the baby to be. This was stitched with beautiful silk floss. The little cherub's hair is all golden French knots. I loved stitching this!
• Sampler Sweet Bag Nostalgic Needle. Stitched for Sissy's 30th birthday. I even made a tag for the inside that marks the occasion. Very clever--I had forgotten about that. That center pink flower is detached buttonhole stitch; I spent quite a few days under the magnifier!
  

• Needleroll, Catherine Theron, Theron Traditions. Celebrations in Cross Stitch (Manchester). The fact that this has been completely stitched for almost nine years but remains unfinished is, in the words of my favorite poker players, just sick.

Kill Joy

I've seen a number of people are stitching The Sampler Girl's My Everything which has the lines
My North, my South, my East and West,
My working week and my Sunday rest,
My noon, my midnight, my talk, my song

But here's the line that's not stitched:
I thought that love would last for ever: I was wrong.

Read all of "Stop All the Clocks" or "Funeral Blues" here. It's a lovely sentiment, but clearly an elegy. I certainly couldn't stitch it until the dude was dead. He already thinks I watch all those crime shows so I can plan the perfect murder...

List #17: 1998

I haven't had any outraged phone calls from my cousin, so I think the mothers were right about this one! The dude did have some trouble falling asleep last night, worried about the "unsupervised" jacketless play. He had thought that my developmentally delayed niece was just "wandering around in the front yard," but since her motor skills aren't so good, she didn't just let herself out of the fenced backyard. Her sister opened the gate when I told them their parents had arrived. He felt better about that, but is still obsessed about the jackets. I tried to reason with him that it was a combined 10 minutes out of 15 hours that we had them. I think that 14 hours and 50 minutes of doing well is pretty good. Of course, it probably takes less than 10 minutes to burn down a house, ingest poison, or do a myriad of other things that would make us horrible parents. Did I tell you what my niece said when we were walking into Wegman's for lunch? I said that people were going to think we were horrible parents for not putting coats on the kids. She responded, "They're not going to think you're our parents. They're going to think you're KIDNAPPERS!" I can hear the phonecall now.

Returning to the list of preblog finishes, I don't think that 1997 and 1998 were drought years. I do think that I thought I was going to put my projects into the "new book" so I didn't take good, consistent notes. In fact, I keep uncovering projects that are of unknown vintage. I'll list those last.

• Christmas pudding kit Heart’s Content. I did this because Christmas pudding is a bit of a joke in our house. Everyone thinks we should have some because the dude's English. We both hate the stuff. 9/1/98

• Black Sheep Have More Fun Sisters and Best Friends. I stitched this on a prefinished pillow by Adam Originals. This is one of the few projects that has been displayed in our house. Mostly because it was finished before I started. I'm really no good with the finishing!

• Ho, Ho, Ho Lizzie*Kate. This would make such a lovely pillow. It was a very exciting purchase because it was the first project I did that used Needle Necessities floss. At the same time I bought Ho, Ho, Ho; I bought everything to do "Not a Creature was Stirring" but I still haven't started that one.
• Flowers in the Springtime Bent Creek. More graduate school friends get married. I love this sampler; I really like the sentiment ("And their love bloomed like flowers in the spring time"). I traded the pattern for DMC flower thread when I lost my stitching bag so I don't know the finish date.

List #16: Book Meme, the Third

My cousin and her husband went away this weekend. Sissy took the kids from 9-5 on Saturday. Since they housed us for 10 months, we never say no to any request, and we had the girls until 2:30 today. I'm pretty sure that they'll never leave the kids with us again. When they arrived to pick the kids up they were playing unsupervised in the yard without coats, and it's only about 48F. So we suck as parents. (The dude is sick and I have no excuse except I had just been worn down by 11:00 this morning when I was chasing a little girl/puppy around trying to get her to brush her teeth and sit on the potty.) Unfortunately, I forgot to bring my camera to their house--there were so many projects I could have photographed.

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Was this on Annette's Acre or Blonde Librarian? Both? Neither?

Hardcover or paperback, and why? For books I want to have forever, hardcover. For books I want to read on the bus, paperback—they’re often lighter.
If I were to own a book shop, I would call it…Read.
My favorite quote from a book:
It is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a large fortune must be in want of a wife.
The author (alive or deceased) I would love to have lunch with Jane Austen. (Too trite, I know.)
If I was going to a deserted island and could bring only one book, except for the SAS survival guide, it would be…The Riverside Shakespeare. Lots of good stuff: comedy, tragedy, romance, history. Everything you need in one book!
I would love someone to invent a bookish gadget that…stopped time so I could read more.
The smell of an old book reminds me of…rainy days
If I could be the lead character in a book it would be…someone smart and sassy who has a big adventure. Or, I’ll settle for the adventure: Leila Hadley. Technically, not a character.
The most overestimated book of all times is I’m going to go with the Bible. Do you know how many people have gone to war over this?
I hate it when a book…gosh, I hate a lot of things. I stopped reading Bonfire of the Vanities because Tom Wolfe kept using “raconteur” when storyteller would have worked just as well. So I guess I hate unimaginative writing? An author who doesn’t know how to use a thesaurus? Bad editing? All that and more?

List #15 Worked on this Week

I didn't stitch much this week. But I did work on a few things

• quilted messenger bag: These are my fabrics. The bubbly fabric on the bottom is the main fabric. The six others, sewn together, will be the striped, quilted flap.
  

• fringe bracelet: all together I made four passes over the length of this bracelet. I used two types of seed beads, small pink hearts, and a bunch of glass-by-the ounce (flowers and daggers in aqua, green, light purple, and clear).
  

• royal chain necklace: I nearly finished the chain necklace from the disastrous class last week. I need more chain and then to put on the clasp. But you can see what is happening here. The main pieces are chalcedony, and there are a couple of twisty periwinkle beads that you might recognize from this project.They also appeared in the donut necklace I made for my mother. I love these beads. I really like the color periwinkle.

• Rose Bunnie, we're getting close now--so I'll hold off until the project is complete.

List #14: 1997

Things get a bit hazy between 1997 and 2003. Having reached the end of my first project record book, I either wrote the date right on the pattern or on the sheets where I kept track of my 10-hour rotation. When I finished, I just wrote the date in the rotation box. And then I obsessively saved those papers. I did buy a new book to record the projects but I didn't keep up with it. After my great search to find it ended last night, I discovered there's nothing recorded in it--only a few photos stuck in. And a gift certificate to Yankee Cross Stitch from 1997 that has .50 left on it. What kind of a loser can't spend $100 at a cross-stitch store. {Ironically, perhaps, I have spent hundreds there since 1997.} I'm sure I didn't write in the book because I had too many projects on the go. A person could record something in the book when she started it and eight years later still have a blank where the photo and completion date would go. {And you know how I know.}

You'll have to excuse the vagueness of the lists that follow. Aren't you glad they invented blogging? Now I know when I complete my projects.

• Pins and Needles Lauren Sauer finished pin cushion 4/27/07. Finished other pieces much much later. (Sacramento SOCS)
• Watermelon Angel Douglas Designs 5/5/97 Stitched for my aunt's sun porch that was watermelon themed. Finished as a pillow.
• Stumpwork bee skep Liz Turner Diehl (Valley Forge SOCS) 7/20/97. I hang this on my Christmas tree every year.
• Beaded needlebook Judy Marcinkiewicz 8/97 (still needs finishing) I took this as a class at one of the SOCS festivals, but this was just the practice piece...







• Fishing Fools Twisted Threads 11/22/97. For my aunt for Christmas. The framer put this in a shadow box made from a wood that looked like weathered barn board. It looks great with the stitching and with the bathroom (gasp) in which it hangs. It's a little-used bathroom and it's right near the door, in her defense.
• Santa Cup Leisure Arts Magazine (Linda Gillum) 11/23/97 Stitched for my great aunt of the fudge recipe. She used to have us all over for these little Christmas parties, and I like her family; they're the only people I know louder than us. This was one of those plastic hot beverage mugs that has the vinyl weave insert. But it came out cute...
• Stumpwork thistle Liz Turner Diehl. I stitched this one for my Scottish MIL after I gained confidence in the bee skep class. I forgot that I was supposed to stitch over one, so it came out huge, but made an awesome box insert . When we shipped it to England for Christmas, all the gifts were stolen. So this is gone for good, not even a photo to remember it by.
• A Mother's Poem converted to a wedding sampler for graduate school friends. I wish I knew the name of the magazine this was in. On amaretto jubilee with DMC floss--great colors.
• Small "African" mask--from Jan Eaton's Around the World in Cross-stitch Stitched for my cousin's graduation from St. Lawrence. She had spent the fall of her senior year in Africa, and she brought me back some awesome African fabrics which I have not done enough with. I stitched this over one and finished it as a necklace backing it with the fabric she brought me.

List #13: The Beading Class list

The book that I have been taking my lists of completed projects from has reached its end. I went looking for the scraps of paper and the other book last night. I think most of 1997 is in the new book because I can't find any scraps about that year. Unfortunately, I can't find that book. You'll have to wait until I can really look. Instead, a short list of things that annoyed me last night (and the week before) at bead class.

1. I had collected my beads and was ready to start the project at 6:50. Class begins at 6:30 with the selecting of the beads.
2. At 7:25, the instructor sat down to show us what to do with our beads. Because she was still helping a woman select her beads.
3. She showed us how to make a loop in an eye pin. I waited 40 minutes for this?
4. At 7:35 the woman who couldn't select her own beads wanted more help choosing beads. When the instructor handed her some yellow beads, she said, "I don't like faceted beads." (I don't really either, but I've found if you mix in a very few, they look really good.)
5. When the instructor handed her some amber beads, she said, "these are too expensive." I was wishing I had a loaded gun.
6. For the next (last) two classes, we're getting kits. One stupid idiot can't choose three beads to string together and they institute kits? On the one hand, this is a fabulous solution for the whiner and we'll get started on time. On the other hand, I can choose a bead in less than 20 minutes!
7. I know she's not going to like the kit choices. I am guaranteeing you this.
8. When we did the fringe bracelet (I'm almost done! Really. I'll have two beaded projects to show on Saturday.)...When we did the fringe bracelet, another woman, who was mercifully absent last night, kept complaining that she couldn't do it. Couldn't choose beads (though she was trying to match a necklace she was wearing...an Afghan wedding necklace just so you know how pretentious she was). Couldn't pick up a needle. Couldn't string beads. Couldn't figure out where to come up. Couldn't figure out where to go back in. Every move she made was prefaced by how she couldn't do it. Gah.
9. Also, we had to listen to how rich her nieces and nephews were. Very, very rich!
10. This is the second week that I've left without finishing my project. The first one is really my doing--I chose to make several fringes where most people did one. But last night, well, see #2. Last semester, in the glory days when people could choose beads, I left with 4 finished projects. (The knotting class did take quite a bit of time even for those beading rockstars.)

List #12, 1996

I have beading class tonight. I haven't finished last week's bracelet yet, but that's because I think more is better unlike many of my classmates. I have one and a half more passes to make it look the way I want. Tonight, "regal chain necklace." I have no idea what that means until I get there--isn't that exciting!

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Edited: Added photos

• Candy Box, CC&N magazine I stitched this for my mother. Very fancy. Those empty candy cups were quite the pain to stitch, too much metallic floss.





• February 16, 1996 Samplers of the month, February by Linda P. Reeves in JCS. I stitched this as a birthday present for Sissy. These were so cute and so a la plage. I mean stitching with Watercolors and Access Commodity beads!
• March 24, 1996 Very Victorian Mini Sampler, Sue Stokes—third SOCS Festival (Winston-Salem). This one is framed. It's in the basement waiting to find the right wall to live on.




• Sunflower smalls by Lauren Sauer. I finished these at various times: the scissor case was finished March 25, 1996—lost less than a year later. But the needlebook is in the to be finished pile.
• June 16, 1996: Wedding sampler: “A Free Heart,” Kandace Thomas: Take II. I'm telling you--it's the go-to sampler. Stitched for a couple of friends from grad school.
• July 12, 1996 Starry Night, Catherine Theron, JCS. One day the dude wondered why we didn't have any of my stitching hanging on the walls. I stitched this to remedy that. He chose the pattern. He really digs things that are out of proportion.
  



• August 2, 1996 Mini motif sampler Sue Stokes. My first attempt at Lacis. Also, this is the pattern I would teach to novice stitchers in Poland in 1998.




• Summer 1996 Used part of the SOCS 1994 Commemorative sampler to make pillowcases for a friend’s wedding shower. It was one of those time-of-day showers; I had 10:00 pm. I stitched waste canvas on 250 ct sheets. This was another time I turned to rctn for help and received it when someone sent me English steel needles. Do you know how difficult it is to stitch on 250 count sheets with a blunt needle?
• December 20, 1996 Prairie Schooler Santa on a prefinished pillow. Made it for my great aunt. The one who sent me the fudge recipe.

List #11: 1995

I'm going out to dinner this evening, and I don't know when I'll have a chance to illustrate this one. But I will; I even own some of these!

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By 1995, I had completed graduate school coursework. I get to the grindstone. {Or not.}

• December 31, 1994 Jingle Bell sweatshirt, Lorraine Birmingham. Real and stitched jingle bells on a sweatshirt for my grandmother. From the Leisure Arts Spirit of Christmas books. I think this one got left off the last list because I entered my projects into the book by the start date, not the date of completion. Whoops!
• February 1995 A Star Danced birth sampler for my college roommate's baby. Again, no sampler for the sibling. I thought I was so sophisticated using all this colored aida!
• June 21, 1995 Family Collector Series: Wedding Sampler from Cross Stitch Sampler magazine—the magazine folded before the third in the series came out. This was one of the first projects I got advice on from the internet. The sampler contains Bosnia stitch, and the directions weren’t that good. I posted a question on rctn, and a woman answered. Later that month, I went to SoCS at Valley Forge and sat next to her! So I was able to show her the fruits. This was stitched for a grad school friend.
• June 25, 1995 Midwinter Portrait Sheila Tune Upham from a magazine. Stitched for another aunt when I picked her name at Christmas. At least she still speaks to my father.
• September 1995: Santa and His Little Helper, Alma Lynne. Man I loved the Alma Lynne. This one is on blue aida that I ordered from a store listed in the back of JCS. It was a shower gift for my cousin (the one we lived with). For some strange reason, I didn't include any means of hanging this so she drapes it across the coffee table every Christmas.
• [September 19, 1995. Now we know when I started Majestic Rooster!]
• September 28, 1995 antique button pocket pendant, CA Wells at the Sacramento SOCS. I love this little thing. I don't know why I never use it or wear it. CA is big on using your stitching; I am small on it apparently.
• November 1, 1995 Gifts of the Heart, Stoney Creek. Beaded within an inch of its life! Not my taste, but my sister liked it enough to take it in and give it a good home.
• November 1, 1995-November 19, 1995 Ship at Sea, Clover Hill Needlworks. I think this may have been my first pattern I stitched with GAST. I made it for my MIL whose father was a lighthouse keeper.
• December 1995, “Heart of the Month Wreath” from some Leisure Arts book or another. Many colors of aida cloth. The hearts were supposed to attach with hook and loop tape to a frame, but it never worked properly. My aunt stuck them all in a basket. Cute!
• December 28, 1995 Samplers of the Month, December—birthday samplers by Linda P. Reeves in JCS. Stitched with waterlilies for Auntie Em (the aunt I refer to as "my aunt" without any reference to my father. She's my mother's sister and the mother of my cousin who took us in when we moved to PA and the grandmother of my neices.)
• December 30, 1995 Simple Elegance Sampler, Betsy Stinner. I stitched the central motif from this sampler on a wine coaster for my dad.
• 1995 A Special Couple Needle Treasures. I chose this wedding sampler for my cousin because photo on the kit (kit!) listed the same church that my cousin got married in. All those effing color changes!

List #10: 1994

• A Free Heart, Kandace Thomas wedding sampler that appeared in JCS. The first of many times (this is my go-to wedding sampler), for my father’s cousin.
• I Love Dogs, Jeremiah Junction I stitched the Airedale for my aunt on a sweatshirt. This time I used the appropriate sized waste canvas!
• April 1994: Anniversary sampler “Leisure Arts Contest Favorites” Cindy McVey. Stitched for my aunt and uncle’s 25th wedding anniversary which had been the November before. We went on a cruise in March to celebrate. I would have finished in time for the celebratory cruise, but I ran out of one of the floss colors on the ship! They don't sell DMC on ships, did you know that?
• Summer 1994: To Everything a Season, from a magazine. I stitched this for one of my father's sisters for Christmas when I picked her name. She loved it, but that was back when she spoke to my father. Who knows what fate has befallen it? Also, I bought a pattern called Aunt Ina to stitch for her because how many people in the world have an aunt called Ina? Want to trade?
• July 1994: Bunny Bear birth sampler, Alma Lynne. Stitched for a cousin's daughter (Ina's granddaughter). I did a pretty nice job finishing this too. Sadly, I never made one for her sister. She was born when I was actually working on the dissertation.

I'll see about scanning some of the photos. I only have pictures of the last three. But tonight I have sewing class. I'm making a quilted messenger bag.

List #9, Another Book Meme

This time, I know where the list originated: Poppy Buxom.

I'm Amazed Nobody Ever Made Me Read
Anything by Steinbeck
Anything by Phillip Roth (I did contemporary American fiction in grad school)
The Iliad
The Odyssey

I've Never Been Interested in Reading
The DaVinci Code
Almost anything Oprah put her stamp on
Almost anything other people tell me I should read
The Notebook
Anything by Jodi Picoult

I Never Managed to Finish
The Octopus
Absalom, Absalom
The Sound and the Fury
Native Son
Le Morte d’Arthur
Last of the Mohicans
Lucky Jim Though I would like to.
Nostromo
Jude the Obscure
Well this list is unsurprising.

Books I Finished and Liked Quite a Bit, Although Going Into It, I Felt Extremely Wary
The Naked and the Dead
Villette
Sir Gawain and the Green Knight
Bleak House

Books for which the quip "Kill me. Now." was invented
I don’t know; I always just stop reading when I don’t enjoy something. Even in school. Even in graduate school.

I’ll add:Books they made me read so often I hated both the books and them
Why are We in Vietnam?
The Naked Lunch
Their Eyes Were Watching God
Invisible Man
Uncle Tom’s Cabin

List #8, Worked on this Week

Yay! Comments. Something for me to talk about...

My early stitching career was mostly about stitching for other people. I was pretty poor when I started stitching, and I could justify the hobby if it were a gift for someone else. (I gave almost all of the gifts unframed.) Now you know why I feel no guilt whatsoever in declaring this the Year of Selfish Stitching. I only have a handful of my own completed projects. That's also why I have documented the early stitching so well. Since so many of my projects were given away to relatives (most notably my mother and her sister), it was pretty easy to track them down when I wanted to get photos of them. Once I stitched a wedding sampler for one cousin, it became "the gift." Birth announcements followed logically from there. Eventually you will see that I stitch for myself. Eventually. But first the dude has to agree to move in with me.

DD asked if I started or finished these projects in the year I am classifying them by. Finished! Definitely. Most of the earliest items only have an approximate date. I do know that I started the first wedding sampler in April 1989 and completed it in just enought time to get it framed and send it in time for the first anniversary in September 1990. But that's why some are classified by month or just year.

Between being sick and beading class I didn't work on my rotation at all. (I think I might move to a screaming rotation or a 10 hour rotation next month. This daily thing is not working real well, is it?) Here's what I did manage:

List #7: 1993

So, I notice a dearth of comments. Are you totally bored by this? You can tell me. I promise things are going to get better. I'm going to finish coursework and start stitching more. I'm going to go to SOCs festivals and stitch interesting things. I'm even going to do items that involve detached buttonhole stitch. Just stick with me.

• Summer: Americana Welcome, published in Just Cross Stitch, design by Robyn Taylor. Stitched for my aunt for a Christmas gift, while dad was in the hospital in Boston having another hip replacement. This may be my first foray into linen.

• Summer: Blooming Cactus, from a magazine possibly Cross Stitch and Country Craft. I started this at Brigham and Women's hospital at my father's bedside and worked on it while the dude drove me cross-country from NH to L.A. via Route 70--well, the parts that weren't flooded that summer.





• Brides Quilt wedding sampler, Sylvia Evans. I stitched this for my college friend. She had the same pattern and was stitching it as Christmas ornaments. (The pattern is 80s mauve and blue on one side and Christmas red and green on the other.) I didn't take a picture of this one, but at least the marriage is still on.

List #6: 1992

Tonight I went to a bar with a few coworkers and 50 other people to watch my former grandboss on Jeopardy. AND SHE WON! Woohoo! Go, Jake! People watching local Philadelphia news may see the party we had for her. I don't think you'll see me.

Back in 1992, I was in my second and third semesters of graduate school. I experienced my first earthquake--a tiny three pointer. I was in--IN--my first riot. And before I went back to NH for the summer, a bigger quake. Yes, 1992 was quite a year. I didn't finish that many stitching projects. Go figure.

• Quilt Sampler—made for my mother because she had a quilt shop called "Sister's Choice." The block featured in the sampler.





• Wedding Sampler —stitched for my college roommate who really helped my transition to SoCal. I wish I could find this pattern. I lost it after I finished and I’d like to do it again! This was my first time using beads in a project.
• Santa Claus University sweatshirt, a Leisure Arts Christmas book. Stitched for my mom who loves Christmas. If I were cleverer, I would have made it the University of Santa Claus and it would have been USC. That's my mom with a candy Christmas tree she made. She's quite crafty!





• Our Beginning, Imaginating--stitched for a cousin. Her taste was all froufrou and blech. I hated every stitch! But that's okay, I hate her too.

You can see that during graduate school, stitching kind of took a back seat. Fortunately, I qualified in 1995. Things will pick up.