This long apocryphal story--I have no idea whether the Salt Lake Desert has snakes or not--leads to the next important "G"--grammar. Consider the horror of Christians everywhere at the lapse of one little comma. My mother's swear directed at my father, Richard, becomes something entirely different.
Praise be to the comma; blessed are they who use punctuation correctly.
* That salt did end up in some classrooms in Thorton's Ferry School, and a good thing too.