Monday, November 11, 2013

Paging: Maggie Monday

My sainted aunt wrote again. She and my grandmother have a Thursday ritual: movie, perhaps lunch, my aunt brings my grandmother to "the Club"--this is the social club where my grandmother was bartender. The job she retired from at 87. (Don't worry, she has chauffeurs for the rest of the week!)

She writes: 

I thought I had it made today because the movie started at 1:45.  I figured I'd pick Maggie up around one and we could head over to AMC, watch the movie and proceed to the Club. Short day! But, no, she said that she'd like to go out to lunch first.  Since she doesn't really eat, how could I say no?  I told her it was her turn to pick.  She settled on Olive Garden or T-Bones. Since we eat at the latter often, I chose the former. I wanted to get there early since most lunch times have busloads of retirees descending on the place. By the way, I had to order for her. Apparently she has stopped reading menus!! That left us with time to kill before the matinee, after we ate.  We went to Marshall's where I proceeded to lose her. Time was running out and I was exhausted from running up and down the aisles looking for her so I had her paged.  Besides, my purse and my purchases were in her cart! I saw her meandering towards the front of the store at a leisurely pace and thought that perhaps she hadn't heard the P.A. announcement. She heard it all right but was "still browsing."  Guess what she had picked up to buy?  $23 worth of chocolate covered everything!***  She could barely touch her food, but there was plenty of room for junk! We saw "Last Vegas", which was very funny.  I just wish that they would stop giving up all the funny parts when they show the trailers on TV.  Maggie always records the names of the movies and stars in her notebook so that she can talk about them at the Club. Today, she said that she didn't need to do that, because she knew the name of the movie and who starred in it.  I decided to quiz her, and she did indeed remember the name of the movie but when it came to naming the stars, she said "oh, you know blondie* and cutie pie**.  Needless to say, she ended up writing down their correct names once I told her.

*Michael Douglas
** Kevin Kline
***Compare this to her recent grocery bill of $22. (She eats out a lot.)


Berit said...

I enjoyed this post, yet only had a vague notion about "Your Maggie", so I clicked the "Maggie Monday" tag, and read a post or two until I came across a "Sounds good..." hotlink. I read through the post it brought me too with the usual quiet pleasure I derive from visiting your page until almost the very end...

...and then, a paragraph containing the anecdote!!!

I LAUGED as I have not since I don't know when. Perhaps I have not laughed like that since those occasional joinings-in with the boys in late elementary school laughing over their "bathroom jokes" as only boys of such an age can.

"Bathroom Humor" for the adult set.

THANK YOU, Anna. I've a (nuisance of a) funeral to attend with my BF this weekend--in Canada, no less. Ugh, border crossing--and NEEDED that laugh.

Linda said...

What a great story Nikki. Thanks for the chuckle.


Jennifer said...

That Maggie is, as they say, "a pisser".

Monica said...

Kind of reminds me of my mom and Christmes shopping at Kohls. She really needs a set of dealy boppers on her head. She has gotten so short over the years I can't see the top of her for the clothing racks. Maggie is a dandy! (as we say in the U.P.)