Sunday, September 12, 2010

Football Season Begins!

I am sorry to have abandoned you. I've been stitching. A great deal. And now I am getting ready for the Season of Stitch Ass. I wonder sometimes if I love football for the game itself or for the necessity of sitting down all weekend which means I'll pick up a needle.

At Friday stitching, my nemesis was there. She's always there, but we had a particularly humorous round this week. This woman is 70something, disabled, and has an opinion on everything. Not an opinion really, THE opinion. If I say something is black, she will, with great authority, declare it white. This week someone mentioned she had a couch she wanted to give away. Nemesis told them to put it on Freecycle. Having recently joined Freecycle, I thought Craig's List might offer her an easier way to go--no joining up, one and done sort of thing. She said, "No! Don't put it on Craig's List! They are under investigation right now." Of course that investigation doesn't have anything to do with giving stuff away for free, but that didn't matter a bit. She would have none of it, even though many of us have had plenty of positive transactions on Craig's List. Later, we were talking about M*A*S*H. I have this silly little story about Alan Alda. It's like a parody of name dropping. I was once a seat filler at a Hallmark Hall of Fame movie premier. At the post film reception, I was talking to some other seat fillers when Alan Alda, who was standing behind me, swung around with arms akimbo and elbowed me. He apologized to me, very nice guy. So I tell my Alan Alda story.

First she calls me a name dropper. Come on, does that story make me sound like I'm friends with Alan Alda? I was a seat-filler. I'm pretty sure I know my place in the hierarchy. Then she asks for the deets. When I say it was a Hallmark film, she says, "I won't have anything to do with Hallmark." Which is just awesome. Kind of like when my students were writing papers and using the phrase, "uncalled for behavior." The "uncalled for behaviors" students wrote about included homosexuality, the Tiananmen Square massacre, and Saddam's invasion of Kuwait. Both are such a bizarre application of phraseology. The kids clearly thought that their mother's or teacher's reprimand described The.Worst. And for some reason Hallmark deserves to be shunned. I'm not sure I understood her critique. But I do know that I was somehow tainted for attending a Hallmark Hall of Fame premier. I'm an agent of the devil.

I do try to keep a sense of humor about it. After all, I get out a lot more than she does, and my life, from what I have been able to gather, is a lot easier. But it can be a little frustrating to have her hijack every conversation, hold forth loudly on every issue, tell experienced knitters how to best to achieve their knitting goals. I'm jealous of the people who can turn off their hearing aids.

Above, Scared Silly BOAF called for fabric and threads. Don't you love how the yellow looks like it's going to stand out and scream for notice, and the orange sort of absorbs it and instead the yellow is just a harmonizing note? On the Tree of Life Window, I'm trying to put in a length of floss every day so that I can get through all that backstitching.

20 comments:

KarenV said...

You're a lot nicer about your nemesis than I would be ;) Cute finish and I'm really loving the ToL window!

Romantic Fool said...

I love football time too! I feel the same way, is it really the game or the time I can justify sitting and stitching?

As for your nemesis, yes, it takes patience but I bet if you just stop agreeing away with her right away, she'll stop. You'll be taking away the "fight" which is what it sounds like she enjoys!

Peggy Lee said...

Oh God...your nemesis sounds like my grandmother! We are so much alike and it haunts me every day. Someday I might learn the fine art of keeping my mouth shut....yeah RIIGHHHT!!!!

Peggy Lee said...

Oh God...your nemesis sounds like my grandmother! We are so much alike and it haunts me every day. Someday I might learn the fine art of keeping my mouth shut....yeah RIIGHHHT!!!!

Lee said...

There's one in every crowd. They can be a real conversation stopper, because people just get tired of dealing with them. I wish I had a solution for you, but the only thing I ever do is respond minimally or stop responding at all. Like two very simple words: "Oh my."

Caroline said...

heh heh.... just like Peggy Lee - your nemesis sounds like my MOTHER...............

I'm glad to hear you've contracted a case of stitch ass. Good times.

Miss Quoted said...

I say keep it up with the nemesis. I have a friend the same age as your nemesis - and sometimes he needs someone to spar with, and there are times when I'm it. Not everyone is so tolerant of grumps. She probably knows you are strong enough to take what she dishes out. Plus... great blog entries!

My name dropping "seat filler" story. I was part of the "practice" audience for a very famous magician or "illusionist" I was paid $50. His jackassery and wretchedness was astounding. It was truly amazing. On the plus side, I know how to make tigers disappear.

Glad to hear about the stitch ass ... I look forward to seeing your work!

Laura said...

If I'd been there I would have told my Ric Ocasek story (he walked into me coming out of a CVS in Manhattan and said "Geez, I'm so sorry") and we could have been brazen, obnoxious name droppers together. Let the good times roll.

zoomcity said...

The good thing about your nemesis *for me* is the chuckles your reports provide. It's funny when it isn't happening to me. :D

Kathryn said...

I saw Alan Alda buying a newspaper at SFO. He didn't even run into me. But I am glad he didn't. He's TALL!!

I got almost all of a Stoney Creek huge cross stitch done listening to baseball. But I don't do that any more, so less stitching.

mainely stitching said...

Love those projects, especially the Halloween BOAF one. :D

I'd like a hearing aid I could turn off some days, too.

Real Live Woman said...

I was quite productive today, too, stitching on some Christmas gifts while watching hours of football. My husband and I fell in love with the NFL RedZone channel, which our cable company just added this week. It was better than watching a whole game we were only partially interested in, since our team doesn't play until Monday nite. Between the rainy weather and the start of football, it was a great day to stitch.

Billie said...

I used to go to this craft circle at our local VHS and I quit going there because of my nemesis there. She just wouldn't stop talking about the war and how terrible everything was etc etc. Well I know that but I do not need constant reminders. So you have my sympathy and I hope you will find the right way to deal with her. Unfortunately all my suggestions would be to rude...

Coral said...

Hah, I scared away one, who was so negative, and so self centred (also disabled). I got the impression she was going to start moaning about her job, a teacher. I jumped in and told her a true story about my mother's friend who moans continually about being a teacher, and if she hates it so much she should retire. I have never seen her again. And this was about a year ago. I hate the way teachers hate their jobs; so stop! Do something else, try a 6 day a week job instead. Good blog fodder that actually. Sean has a friend who worked out that teachers, who work a half day here, are the highest paid individuals in SA.

Alice said...

Love the stitching! How frustrating about the nemesis. Sometimes contrariness can be amusing... other times not so much. I am a crank myself and wouldn't be nearly so nice to her as you are.

Donna said...

Season of Stitch Ass! You crack me up. Thanks for the mental image.

As for the nemesis: I've got one of those. But I only see her occasionally so I can stand it. Especially because my stitching is way better than hers.

Charlene ♥ SC said...

I enjoy football, too! It gives an excellent excuse for numb ass stitching! Ech - the loud, know-it-all. I find myself saying, more often than I care, ...is just my opinion - that's why there are so many different ways to... Why don't they know, it's just their opinion, too - not gospel!!

Kristen said...

Grew up with a parent like that. Needless to say, now that I am grown up and out of the house, I just don't talk to him anymore because a person can only take so much. Out in the world, I have no patience for anyone like that, either. I'm amazed that you still attend that group.

Your WIPs are fabulous, though! Love the colors on the BoaF piece. Tree of Life looks great, too. Your progress is making me think about adding this design to the (already too long) wish list, but I tend to shy away from anything that has lots of back stitching and/or frequent changes of color. But it really is gorgeous...

Kat said...

What an interesting way to discover I have a long lost sister in Caroline, because it sounds like MY mother as well!

I'll have to mention this to my therapist...

Lovely stitching!

~Kat

C in DC said...

(My earlier attempt to comment appears to have been foiled.)

The progress you're making is great. I still really like Tree of Life.

You should start a "name dropping" meme. It would be fun to see who had run into whom. Since I lived in both L.A. and London, I have a few, but my favorite story isn't mine.