Saturday, November 21, 2009

I Need Much More Information

I don't know what kind of information you need about the reunion, but here are some points.
  • Of the 76 people I graduated with, I have kept in touch with two, although through facebook, I have many more as friends now.
  • Two different people on facebook are hounding me to go to the reunion. They were part of my little circle. (Actually, with so few people in the class, most of us were part of several circles. For instance, I was "alternative" (ie punk lite), a cheerleader, and a "braniac." Some of the braniacs in my school were jocks so you can see how tiny the pool was.)
  • My school no longer exists.
  • The boys' school ate it. They sponsor the reunion. If you saw their Website, you'd see we are separate and unequal. For instance, "missing classmates" from 1984 are all men. You have to click on the page for my school to find 1) it's not updated and 2) missing classmates is a PDF. I am not on it, although I have received no information about this reunion.
  • I hate that they hold it Thanksgiving weekend. Assumes everyone 1) still lives in the area or 2) still travels to the area. Since I have been to NH for Thanksgiving twice since I graduated from college, I think it's a stupid assumption. Do I need to remind anyone that this is the worst weekend for traveling in the US?
  • The Web page that they do have doesn't tell you how much the rubber chicken dinner costs, until you register.
  • My friend from the boys' school isn't going because at their last reunion, the class president organized an after party, and left the reunion (with the cool kids) before it was over.
  • I went to a high school where roughly half the women didn't go on to college. They stayed home and had kids, some of them even got married (it was a Catholic school after all). You can imagine how much we have in common. (Did I mention that I have all but 5 of my high school friends on facebook set to "hide"?)
  • I'm not really where I want to be in my life right now.
  • I've never been. How do you talk about the past 25 years?
Does this get me off the hook?


Lee said...

I wouldn't travel to NH during a holiday weekend for that. Not a chance!

corinna said...

its your thing

do what ya wanna do

high school is over

just my personal opinion though

Donna said...

I think that holding the reunion on Thanksgiving weekend would be enough to keep me away.

I will also confess to not attending my 30th. Leftover personal issues kept me away. But I'm slowing being dragged back in via facebook.

doris said...

The tone of your list tells me all I need to know. You sound miserable just writing about it. I suggest (not that I know anything, mind you) that you find a way to get together with the people you want to see and forget about the reunion. Life's too short to stress about a reunion.

I think that if you attend a reunion, you'd better be impervious to criticism and the opinions of others. I was able to go and have a good time because I really wanted to see my friends and I didn't give a damn about my non-friends' opinions. I sound mean, huh?

valerie said...

I remember going to my 10-year high school reunion from an all-girl's catholic high school. It was miserable! I'll never go to another reunion, high school or college.

It doesn't sound like you are very happy even thinking about it. Plus travel on Thanksgiving weekend?!

riona said...

My NYC Catholic high school is also defunct ... the building taken over by the parish elementary school until that too closed.
As to closeness to my former classmates: twelve years after leaving college, I bought a town house in a suburb of NYC and "met" a neighbor named Karen ... who waited until she was in the process of selling her house four years later to mention that she was insulted by the fact that I never mentioned remembering her. Apparently, not only had we been in the same graduating class but we had been in the same homeroom and had taken all of our core subjects together! I can't remember the names of more than one or two of my high school classmates ... never went to a reunion, never plan to.

monique said...

As soon as I graduated, I was done with all of them LOL Never went back for a reunion, never had any desire to. And I especially wouldn't go on a holiday weekend.

Adrienne Martini said...

There's no hook to be on, really. Go. Don't go. Your choice - and it sounds as if you've already made it.

My HS is holding its reunion T'giving weekend, too, and I won't be there. I'm actually a little bummed - but my circumstances are different and my graduating class was much, much bigger. Out of 500, I'm sure I could find one or two to talk to.

Still - do something else. Or find the few that will be there who you'd want to see and meet 'em at another time.

Blu said...

Since you aren't sounding particularly enthusiastic, don't bother. See if you can do a mini reunion with the people you want to see.
My reunion won't be for ages, but I've moved halfway across the country, and I won't be bothered going back to see a bunch of people I haven't kept in touch with, and I don't particularly care what they've been up to!
(Wow, I sound cold AND harsh!)

Anonymous said...

I'd rather have a root canal without anesthetic than go to something like that - go play - life is too damn short!


Ginny said...

I feel about class reunions the same way Fundy Winkerbean (of comic strip fame) felt about class rings. When asked if he was going to buy a High school class ring, he said why would I want to spend a lot of money on a really ugly ring to remind me of four of the worst years of my life?!"

Time has gone on, life is far more lovely than those intense High School Years. Leave the memories for those that need them, who have nothing better to remember.
Make some new memories that are even better!

Xeyedmary said...

Hell yeah it gets you off the hook!
Your former classmates sound like lame-asses!
Get in touch with the few you still keep in touch with, find a small hotel central to everyone & book your own reunion in nice weather!
All my reunions have been expensive clique-fests. Our 10th was held at a classmate's gym in a function room. Another classmate was the DJ. It cost $80 per couple for hors d'oevres (we never got any because they ran out), cash bar. The "in-gang" had pizza delivered, but didn't ask the "out-crowd" if they'd want to order anything, so we still had no food. If the A**holes who organized that particular event paid more than $5 per person, I doubt it. ANd I'm convinced to this day they pocketed the excess funds. Our 15th reunion, they "organized" a potluck, if you can believe THAT, becuase of the food (lack of) issues at the 10th. I went to my 25th (newly divorced & 35 lbs lighter); wasn't bad but I have no desire to go to my 30th next year, or any more for that matter. Can you tell I still think they're a bunch of idiots?

Anonymous said...

I think holding it on Thanksgiving weekend is an automatic pass. Thanksgiving weekend is for awkward family gatherings, not awkward virtual stranger gatherings.

Annemarie said...

Something tells me you have already made up your mind. Can't blame you. Like Laua said: I'd rather have a root canal without anasthetic than go. And I've been to a reunion AND had that root canal without anasthetic, so I know what I'm talking about.

Catherine said...

I'd say you are off the hook! If there are some friends that want to get together and you wouldn't mind seeing them, why not suggest an alternate date/time/place to get together without all the drama that goes along with a reunion!

mskathk said...

I too survived catholic school. They taught me to think for myself. I'm now an occasional Methodist.
I am watching in horror what is being done to nuns and women within the church, and how power corrupts. You've charted your own course. Go with your own flow and be true to you.

Siobhan said...

My mother (now retired) used to work with a former high school classmate of mine. When they organized their reunions, Cindy always bugged my mother about getting me to go. I told my mother to tell Cindy to eat shit and die, or that I was busy at my Swiss chalet that weekend. I think my mother made up an excuse. I still have some friends from HS but have no burning desire to see them--exchanging Christmas cards is enough. Being on FB scares the heck out of me because I have no desire to be in contact with the rest of them, which is why I don't list my maiden name or any identifying information. I am thinking of setting myself to hide from some of them, too. I say go and do what you're comfortable with, and it sounds like avoiding the reunion is what you want to do.

RuthB said...

Yup. Definitely off the hook. :)

Rachel said...

I already voted (OMG if one really wants to know) and even after the additional information the vote doesnt change. If anything its RUN Away!

I went to my 20, was up in the air about it but decided to go anyway. Lost $ and hrs out of my life. Dont plan on going to any more.

I agree with others who mentioned getting with those you want to separately, outside the reunion. May be fun to do so.

SF said...

My husband and I graduated from the same high school, but didn't know each other well until we got to college. So going to the 20th reunion made sense - until we got there. Spent the evening in a corner saying, "OMG this is just surreal" to each other. There were perhaps 4 people in the room we wanted to spend time with, and we had stayed in touch with all of them. That said, there is a twisted compulsiveness to the weirdness. Sort of like looking at a car wreck.

Susan said...

When I left high school and the other 33 people who graduated with me, I swore I would never go back for a reunion. I didn't care for most of the people when I spent every day with them, and just kept in touch with one or two afterwards. One sent me a picture of our 35th reunion and my first reaction was "Who are those old people?"

I already voted, too--don't go!

Alice said...

Going to reunions is one of those things that can be an expectation. That doesn't mean you have to feel guilted into going. Thanksgiving weekend is a crumby time! There aren't people that you are dying to reconnect with. If I were you, I'd stay well out of it.

Kristen said...

I think I know what school you are talking about - the name lives on as an institute, right? I remember when the school was 'eaten' and I thought it was a shame.

As far as the reunion goes, your an adult and you know your own mind. Don't let anyone - even friends - hound you into anything!

My .02, anyway.

C in DC said...

I agree that you should do what you want to do, but here's the counterargument to the above comments.

1) You'll be in NH for Thanksgiving anyway, so it's the one time it'll be easy for you to go.
2) I also graduated in a class of ~100, and I've stayed in touch with the few people I was truly close to. There are others, though, that I hung out with and have lost touch with. I'd be curious to see what they're doing now.
3)Again, many in my class did not go to college, but through FB, I'm discovering what some of them are now doing. Some haven't changed or moved, others have.
4) I was at times the most unpopular brainiac of my class. Even so, some of my classmates have sought me out on FB. It's surreal, but interesting. The curiousity is what will drive me back to one of my high school reunions, but probably only one, and 25 is a good choice.
5) It'll give you blog fodder for at least a week. :-)