2017 JCS Ornament Issue Review

I don't know if it is lack of interest in the JCS Christmas Ornament edition or if I haven't gotten around to enough blogs or whether the blogosphere is down too many stitchers, but I haven't heard that much about this new magazine. I do hope, that it doesn't mean that you don't want to hear my annoying opinions about it!

The magazine opens with "Frosty the Snowman," six ornaments featuring snowmen and one from Keslyn's that just says "Let it snow!" As you know, I am a big fan of the snowmen. Of these I really like StitchyFish's Sno-Cone (she had a companion piece featured in the preview) and SamSarah's Hats Off to the Holidays. I've never encountered StitchyFish's work before.

What I am not so much a fan of is the way the pictures are organized. The numbers are laid out a bit haphazardly. For example on this page the numbers start in the upper left-hand corner, and moving clockwise: 6, 2, 7, 5, 3, 4 with 1 in the center. After being confused, what I did realize is that the key is now alphabetical by designer. (Check to see if this is usual). It does make it harder to find your favorite designer if you start with the key rather than the photo.

The next section focuses on "The Friendly Beasts." Hands down, my favorite is Amy Bruecken's Rocking a New Holiday Hat which is a sheep! I am blind to all the other designs, but to be fair there is a series of three penguins that put together make a 3D ornament, a dragonfly (?), a cardinal, a nice Rudolph ornament with fancy antlers,  a robin and a partridge--two patterns, one designer--a red bird that I think will appeal to many, a birdhouse framed simply with sticks and a sheep surrounded by male and female shepherds, but very Jesus-y.

"Here Comes Santa Claus" is the next section and sigh, I feel like I've seen this lot before. Forced to choose favorites, I'd go with Needle Bling and Angel Stitchin's Santas. Cat fanciers will enjoy Swallick Stitchery's "Santa is Coming." But I guess there's only so many ways to design Santa's head.

"Have a Holly Jolly Christmas" section is as beige as the title seems. There is a cutesy penguin (Oh, see that's Frosted Pumpkin, cutesy.) a dragon from Dragon Dreams I didn't even realize was a dragon (and I'm not sure about "Balance" as a message for my Christmas tree), two elves which I really don't like since the Elf on the Shelf and the rise of surveillance culture, a merry go round, some mittens and a series from Always Time to Stitch. Remarkably, this is the third designer who has submitted two or more designs (in this case four!) as their ornament. Finally, there is an ornament made from Weeks wool by Fern Ridge that appears to have no cross-stitch on it whatsoever!

"Joy to the World" features ornaments that have the word joy or are kinda Jesus centered. I really like Ink Circles "Modern Nordic Ornament" not sure if is is modern or Nordic, but you can tell it's Ink Circles. I also like the Gracewood Stitches Beaded Joy, although I'd probably change the colors. There are two more joy ornaments, a peace sampler, another sampler heavy design by My Big Toe, who has the craziest name for a full-on Jesus stitcher. There is also a Believe ornament and one that is backstitched "They Followed the Star." The last one isn't quite as centered as I would like.

The next section is snowflake-backstitching-Quaker-bells if I had to put it into the fewest possible words. I guess I like Guilia Punti Antichi's "Little Purse" best out of these.

The Penultimate section has trees or the suggestion of Christmas trees. I like Gentle Pursuits's tree featuring long lost pets which may be a cat and a dog or maybe those animals found only in schoolgirl samplers from 200 years ago. I love the finishing on that one though. JBW has a tree of trees and Pickle Barrel has a seaside scene. Hardanger enthusiasts will be pleased with Lisa LeAnn's colorful Hardanger Tree.

At last that brings us to a section which seems to feature Christmas words, and honestly I like almost all of these. This section, for me, is the clear winner with designs from Cherished Stitches, Lizzie*Kate, Lucie Heaton, Praiseworthy Stitches, Samplers Not Forgotten, Turquoise Graphics, and WDC Needlework. Besides Lizzie*Kate, I don't think I've stitched anything from any of these designers, which may tell you something.

But you know, for me, the real meat of this review comes from the Recipes and Memories section. I perused it recently on a plane, and was at four pages of notes, so I think this will be a two part review! Stay tuned!

Favorites:

1. Amy Bruecken's Rocking a New Holiday Hat
2. Samplers Not Forgotten Christmas Stocking
3. Lizzie*Kate Very Merry
4. Lucie Heaton Merry & Bright
5. Turquoise Graphics Rustic Noel

What are your top five?

Artful Dodger

The other day, I found myself in need of entertainment, and I wandered into Barnes and Noble to find a magazine and came out with this, Artful Blogging, which has to be one of the strangest magazines ever.

Let me start by saying this isn't really for people like me, hobbyists who blog with whatever they are working on, without expectation of compensation; people who don't spend hours and hours on the "look" and "brand" of their blog.

But should it really exist at all? I mean blogs are a staple of the virtual world. Why would you stick it into something as static as print form?

The photos in the magazine and most of the blogs are beautiful. And most of the people I read about were trained artists, And if they weren't trained photographers they
were people who spent a lot of time learning about and paying attention to their photos. Not like me--since my camera's battery "door" broke and won't stay shut, all my blog photos have come from my phone. You probably noticed but were too polite to say anything.

Photo from Death to Stock.

The bloggers all focused on different things--some were painters, others bakers; some were lifestyle bloggers and others interior decorators. That said, the blogs were all of a piece. I mean you could have dropped this photo of a succulent (especially if it were in a milk glass container) into all of the blogs and it would fit right in. They looked rather samey.Well, maybe if the shot weren't so crisp, but rather moodier and gauzy (Maybe that was an editorial decision to focus on a "look"?) .

The advice from the bloggers was similar--and maybe there's just not that much to say about writing. Words like "voice" and "authenticity" over and over. (How many months can you run the same story?) And it's not like you can't find the same advice...on the internet where blogs live!

This publication has been making it in the world for almost a decade (!) now. I'm pretty sure my buying it this time but never again isn't going to make or break them!

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I bring you this foray into the publishing world because I did not work on the Deruta biscornu at all, after all the drama of not being able to find the next project in my rotation. We had a busy weekend for a change. I think the dude is taking one of those "say yes" challenges so when I asked him to go to IKEA to look for a chair to replace the one the dog has chewed, he said yes. (He hates to browse even more than he hates to shop!) When I asked him to help me with yard work, he said yes. (He's a delicate flower from the north who wilts under our harsh Pennsylvania summers.) When I asked him to go to an open house with me, he said yes. (That browsing thing again.) Anyway, I didn't spend the weekend on the couch, so no stitching.

Today's not much better. I snuggled into my massaging spa chair for my monthly pedicure and took out Tis the Season only to realize that I didn't have a needle with me! Welp.

Onward!

I Wrote 2000 Posts and All I Got Was...

I’ve been away. First it was the silent auction. The day after that my parents showed up. They stay with my sister but they seem to occupy my life when they hit the border of Pennsylvania. It was nice. We celebrated my birthday with a trip to Teikoku. I took them to Han Dynasty, the best Szechuan restaurant in Philly; they raved about it the rest of the week. My mother and I went shopping at King of Prussia. We didn’t do too much else. On Saturday, we went shopping with my sister—looking for furniture for her house. Blah blah blah. I kept thinking about posting because I know it’s been a while, but it was my 2000 post! It had to be a good one. 

Since last week, when I went to see my internist, I have been wearing a giant splint on my right ring finger. When I told the dude, “I have to see the orthopedic hand surgeon," he responded, "again?" We must not blame him; can there be another response? That little injury I reported a month ago, from my beautiful puppy? Left ring finger avulsion with swan neck deformity. (That's broken with ligament damage to you and me.) The good news is no surgery. But it has compounded the obstacles to posting lately. I’ve figured out how to work around the problem of typing ess, double u and ex.

So here it is ladies and gentlemen, my 2000^th post ….the 2012 Just Cross-stitch Ornament review. You have been waiting patiently for a long time. Open your magazines. Let's compare notes.

This year’s magazine opens with the snowflake and snowman ornaments. I like the SamSarah and Amy Bruecken ornaments, but I love the Cherry Wood Design Studio snowman. It’s really all in the construction, but it’s different. (That said, I found something similar in a card making magazine I was perusing recently.) People will be pleased to learn that some ornaments have their photos on the same pages as the design this year. Not all. In fact, there’s not a lot I can say about the layout. It’s still not great.

The next section has animals. And I can’t believe I’m still complaining about the stupid moose puns. Christmas moose is not a thing, and you shouldn’t make a pun with it. “Merry Moose Wishes for Christmas.” Seriously? That just rolls off the tongue. I like Dragon Dreams’ ornament and I may have to stitch it for my dad the Golden Dragon (my niece Lala is one too). People will like Charlotte’s Web’s deer in a landscape. Twisted Oaks Quaker Mouse will appeal to the stitchers of things Quaker. Blackberry Lane’s  Emperor penguin is well-shaded and in that sense artistic, but it kind of looks like we’re watching the penguin give birth. (Don’t worry, like most birds, they hatch.) So it is and it isn’t. Jemini’s bird is not as crazy as some years. So, yes, I love that one less.

Since some people think Christmas is about Jebus, they will include crosses in the ornament issue. Rosewood Manor’s is a needlebook. I like Keslyn’s. I’ve never heard of the designer, but it’s really neat with a purple and green crescent stitch framing the central motif. Tempting Tangle’s ornament is called “Star of the Magi”—each point on the star kind of looks like a magi, but that can’t be because there are four points and only three magi (all those years in Catholic school, and I can count!). Casey Buonaugurio’s doesn’t feature food, amazingly enough. (But she will fill you up with her pineapple cheese ball.) Fern Ridge’s isn’t a cross; it’s a purple and pink tree. “Christmas can come in many colors too.” Is that a thing? Because you know I have nothing against non-Christmas colors. I’ll decorate with pink and green or turquoise and lime but I didn’t know we needed a slogan. Charland has a painful poem about her visit to Christkindlmarkt. Writing poetry is kind of like designing needlework. In needlework it’s not just the design but also the color. And in poetry it’s not just the rhyme, it’s the rhythm. And in this case, rhythm is way more important than rhyme. Next time you write a poem, remember that.

Standouts among the trees include Prairie Schooler (which matches their recent Christmas release), Country Cottage Needleworks and Acorn House’s Mistletoe. Do I really have nothing cleverly snarky to say about the rest? My notes are crap.

Here comes Santa! Heartstrings’ reindeer Santa is cute. As usual, I love Mosey n’ Me’s Franknsanta (that’s my new name for Santas that look like Frank). But where is he? He doesn’t appear in the photo with Judy, and that worries me. I don’t love Imaginating’s ornament but there’s a sweet story about her design partner. I like Primitive Hare’s “I Believe in Santa” as you know my Christmas is all about the Santa. But you’ve got to read her story about Jesus and the Christmas donkey. Wait…what? (Why am I thinking about Shrek right now?) 

I don’t think I can explain why there are so many ornaments that feature houses but we’ve reached that section. I think I might stitch Cherished Stitches, Little by Little, Plum Street and Little House Needlework’s ornies. The prim fans will love Niky’s Creation. These are mostly all good, but mostly very similar to ones we’ve seen before.

I’ve labeled the next section “soft rose” which must mean all the ornaments in this section are of a certain colorway. I don’t love La-D-Da’s stocking. I think it’s the wrong shape for the color and design. She’s designed a Turkish genie’s stocking and made the colors soft and the decoration colonial. A stocking with this shape should have crazy colors. Moss Creek’s ornament looks quick and easy. I shall reserve my judgment; I’d need to see it made up to see what I think. I’m not in love with Blackbird’s design which is shocking. Gentle Pursuit’s stocking says “Believe and Receive” which I somehow read as Believe and Relieve…and all I could think of was heartburn. Lo How a Rose fans will find a companion ornament in this section by Jane Timmers of Fancy Work, who writes about a Christmas tradition of a stitching group. Everyone chooses and kits an ornament from the issue and shares with the group, and they have an ornament stitching GTG. Now don’t you wish we were friends IRL?

My next note cracks me up. Over three lines in my notebook paper I wrote:

 Wiseman on p. 79. 

And it’s true. How many times do I have to say it? Wise Men is TWO words. WTF?  It’s not even one word in the Bible…I checked.

Red and green, the traditional Christmas colors some designers railed against, is the final group of ornaments. Sampler Girl has a Jane Austen Ornament. Fresh Threads has gone totally stale with their ornament which looks exactly like the last two. I mean, there’s design consistency and there’s boring. Lizzie*Kate is back, y’all, back from the abyss of her “I don’t give a shit” ornaments. This one harmonizes nicely with patterns she recently released. Raise the Roof channels the chipmunks with their “Please Christmas Don’t be Late” ornament. Who’s going to stitch candy ribbon when you can make them from ribbons, like this? Still Stitching with Susan wins the lame ass ornament of the magazine. But she may redeem herself with a recipe for crab dip. My last little note says “cute plaid ornament and coconut pound cake” which seems to be all I can muster to say about DebBee’s Designs.

Because they keep sending them, I’ll comment on the recipes. Every year someone sends a duplicate recipe. This year there are two hot artichoke dips—Dames of the Needle and Summer House Stitche Workes. Charlotte’s Web sends curried cream of pea soup which sounds horrible. Who’s going to try it and report back? Turquoise graphics sends a recipe for a Mediterranean Salad wrap; I don’t know what I was planning to say about this, but I’ve singled it out for some reason. I’m going to give Glendon Place’s “Holiday potatoes” a pass because there’s a 3:2 ration of potatoes to fattening dairy products. I’m not giving them to every veggie recipe though. Even though Workbasket’s Frosted Cauliflower is loaded with dairy…it’s still cauliflower, and I’m still not making my guests eat it! Also not going to inflict cabbage noodles nor sauerkraut caraway no matter how well it goes with pork or fowl.

Stitcherhood’s buckeye recipe is not on page 106; try page 108. Also look for it alphabetized under “The.” Ugh. Total pet peeve. This is why we don’t let computers do our alphabetization…unless we input “Stitcherhood, The.” I’m not a huge fan of hardanger but thank god for Roz Watnemo who knows holiday desserts should have scant amounts of fruit and loads of fat! She’s given us Fresh Fancy Fruit Salad with peach pie filling. The Shepherd’s Bush ladies send a candied popcorn recipe, which I cannot make because I don’t know what “soft Christmas candy” is. Oatmeal cookies: There are two kinds of people in this world, those who use add chocolate chips and those who make oatmeal cookies the wrong way.* Jeannette Douglas is a good woman.

I love the idea of the Christmas morning breakfast cookie sent in by Sue Hillis. But the execution? Puhlease it’s a cookie not a “health bar.” Thea Dueck gets crap from me every year because year after year her recipes are too healthful. This year—fried cheese. Yay, Thea! Now that’s the Christmas spirit!

Now rush out and stitch some ornaments (let me know and I’ll make a collection again) and try the recipes. I need some reports on how they taste.

*Recently I heard a shocking tale of someone who made them with raisins AND chocolate chips. All I can say is that is a sin. Just when you think you’re biting into chocolate, squish, it’s a raisin.

JCS Ornaments Reviewed

Oh, goodness gracious, I got so far behind with this task, people have already finished ornaments! Please check out the new page above for links to some of the finished pieces stitched by our friends. Check back regularly as I will update it, often to no fanfare. This year I'm limiting each ornament to the first five that I'm notified about. Last year six million people stitched French Country Star and trust me, you get it after five.

I see once again JCS has not taken this opportunity to change their layout. This year, there's the added inconvenience of a chart that is printed sideways. Because turning the magazine won't be cumbersome. They print magazines in landscape all the time; they call that...pornography. And if men can hold the mag with one hand, so can we.

I need to quibble with the cover which touts that these patterns are "from your favorite designers." There are designers in here that I've never heard of. Which is fine--I always like to be introduced to new designers--but if I've never heard of them, how can they be favorites?

Let us turn to page six. Phyllis Hoffman got married! Now why is she still editing this? She is president of Hoffman Media, she doesn't need to edit the magazines. Is she too difficult to work with, and thus can't hold on to an editor? Or is she just saving money? I know...blah, blah, blah, get on with the review already!

Red Work
The first set of ornies are the "red ones." Heartstrings' Santa is on this page but these are the palest colors I've ever seen her work with, almost too washed out. You've already seen Sampler Girls' Good Tidings Rabbit over at Barbara's. Back to the reds...Lauren Sauer stitched a woven heart which is real finger-on-the-pulse redwork but she carried her floss on her confetti stitches! JBW does a word heart this year. I think I may be tired of those. I like Angel Stitchin's Santa, but mostly for the use of funky fibers.

Prim and Proper
I like the Noel Stamp, but is she going to be dictated by the post office forever? The Gift by Blackerry Lane is gorgeous but you know I don't do the whole Jesus thing so I won't be stitching it. I'm not crazy about the Shepherd's Bush but they certainly did jam a whole lot into three square inches. I like Niky's Creation's deer, Gentle Pursuit's Rejoice, and Plum Street's Yuletide. Moss Creek's is pretty; I like the long stitches for the pine but the words? A little off.

Snowman and Flakes
Amy B has a snowmen with a snowman growing out of its head. I like the colors (and I can hear the chorus, "They're not Christmas colors!") but I can't stitch that growth. LHN's is pretty and simple, a must stitch. And just when you think you've seen everything, SamSarah designs a pregnant snowman. Um, what? You know how snowmen are made, right? Praiseworthy has a Victorian-esque sleigh ride, but everyone's so tiny they have giant bug eyes.

Christmas Trees
I think the two best on this page are Elizabeth's Designs (I like sheep) and Workbasket's log cabin home. Blah. I'm a little uninspired. There's nothing funny to say about these. Although there are a couple, maybe just one, that are under designed.

Blue Christmas
You know how they use Christmas carols as headers? The blue ornaments are listed under "Blue Christmas" a little spot on. I like Little By Little's blue and brown design. Mosey N Me does the can-it-ever-get-old? pun of "Merry Moose-mas." (Though that's a reindeer not a moose; I'm from NH, I know from moose.) This year, I'm pretty sure this one doesn't look like Frank. Could it be Judy? Jennifer Aikman Smith didn't contribute a dragon this year; I hope no one is disappointed. She designed a little planet to hang from a "hopeflake" for the people of Japan.

For the Birds
Nine ornaments featuring birds. I'm pretty sure Tempting Tangles' bird is going to fall right off his perch. I usually like the whimsicle fuckery of Jemini Designs but this year's cardinal looks like he had a curry that disagreed with him. Some of the others almost work. Winter Song has the wrong font; the owl goes too far with the earmuffs. I do like Blackbird's blue bird. This may be my favorite.

But WTF Lizzie*Kate? "Half hour ornament?" You know the problem with stitching a half hour ornament? It looks like it took half an hour to stitch. She's still mailing it in. Maybe it's time to call it. Just for the Christmas issue, of course. Or do you think that she's pushing it to see how far she can go before Phyllis Hoffman DePiano finally says, "you know, maybe we don't need L*K to sell magazines."

More Reds
Another Christmas Butterfly! Good grief...fly away to Bethlehem crazy Christmas butterfly. But be careful, those office supplies can be dangerous. I like Christmas in the heart from Acorn House, but I'm tired of depressing stories behind the design. It's a Christmas magazine. We're supposed to be joyful that Santa was born! Wee Work's Noel has elaborate finishing and I'm not sure how I feel about that.

White Christmas
Photographed on mini marshmallows, this page is reserved for the twee. It's also the page that will get the traditionalists riled! These aren't Christmas colors! I love Cathy Jean's squirrel, but tying your recipe to the ornament is...well, that's how she landed on this page. CCN's confection is worthy as are Ink Circle's book and Miss Crescent's Jolly. If there were no marshmallows on this page, Brooke's Books would take care of the saccharine. I don't know what kind of crap they got for Christmas over at Raise the Roof, but the box is not the best part of the present. Fresh Threads' ornament feels so stale, I had to get out my old copies to see where I've seen this before. This is basically last year's ornament with a different color on the sock and trees in it instead of candy. Does that make it stylistically coherent or just recycled?

Recipes
I finally met someone who cooks extensively from the recipes. I thought maybe I should cook them all. But then I realized that was insane and no one really wants to eat Christine's broccoli salad. Okay, while I was perusing the recipes for a reject to include in that sentence, I noticed Charlotte Smyth has sent in the recipe for Caramelitas. Run to the store. Buy the ingredients. Make them. Now! These are perhaps the best bar cookie ever.  What's interesting to me about the recipes are the slight regionalisms. Lychees in heavy syrup? Just let me run to the corner store for those! Catsup and mayo on steak? Cheese in your corn chowder? But I'm sure many more of you will believe I haven't lived until I eat a cookie made with Jell-o.

The Stories
Breaking news: Designers bake cookies at Christmas. And have friends and family over to their homes, which they decorate with trees. They are busy during the holidays with family traditions, attending church, admiring Christmas lights, eating Christmas dinner, traveling, and watching Christmas movies. Yeah, me neither.

Number I might stitch (and I'm being generous): 18
But I'm making the caramelitas!

2010 JCS Ornament Issue Review

I've been sitting on this magazine for about three weeks. For some reason, I just haven't had the enthusiasm to move the review to the top of my to-do list. Of course, there have been jobs to apply for and minutes to write up and blogging to do for the dogs. So I haven't been just sitting here like a lump. In fact, there's been stitching going on round these parts! And knitting! (Shhh. Don't tell Stella; she hates knitting.)

All the complaints we had last year about the layout--designers in sections rather than alpha, graph and color key on different pages--continue as the layout is the same. Since there are 75 projects, if they gave each person a page and had the same number of two page layouts that they have now (eight), they would still use the same number of pages AND the readers (that's us!) would be happy. How hard can this be? Sigh.

This year, the divisions are labeled with Christmas carols and songs that seem to have nothing to do with the ornaments themselves. So, our first group of ornaments is called "O Holy Night," but only one is "holy." All are, however, primarily red. Several stitched entirely in red include JBW "Star" and La-D-Da's "Tis Red." Plum Street's "Love and Joy" is probably my favorite. As you know, I have stitched several of Fancy Work's carol ornaments. This year's bothers me because the song lyrics are out of order. At the top it says "Let earth receive her King," the middle section has "Joy" in large letters and under that it says "to the world, the Lord is come." Is it wrong of me to hate? Don't worry, you won't want to stitch it anyway, the floss key is on the reverse of the pattern. Sigh.

"Silver Bells" is one of the few places where the ornaments and title match up. The ornaments are all silver or bluish. Except the one I like, which is called "hope" (My Big Toe). Some people may argue that Christmas is the season of hope, but I kind of associate that virtue with Easter. Nevertheless... I like the "Holiday Peacock" from Courtney Collection more for its finishing than the freaky bird but even I am repulsed by "Dashing through the Dough" a "goody holder." And you know my Christmas is all about the Santa Claus. I do like Forget-Me-Nots in Stitches beadwork snowflake she cribbed from an old magazine. I've always thought someone should revisit needlework patterns from old women's magazines and reprint or update some of the patterns our foremothers would have stitched. I also like the lettering on Charland Design's stocking though I am not sure that the motifs work together.

"Carol of the Bells" contains no bells. These ornaments are red and green. On this page I am particularly fond of Blackbird's (of course!) "Floral Gift." I also like Ink Circle's "Stained Glass Pine" though I liked it a lot better when I though the background was stitched in an overdye that randomly made that pattern and not three different flosses that have to be placed particularly. Although I have a small collection of The Artist's Collection's Santas, I'm underwhelmed by the colors this year. I'll have to pull them and see what I think. (Early assessment is that they are too bright.) Moss Creek, who always gives us a history lesson, turns to Scottish tradition this year. My Scottish husband (he was born there to a Scottish mother) suggests that people aren't quite as into Oidche Choinnle (say it, it's fun!) as she suggests.

"Joy to the World"--the golden ornaments--has one of my favorites and one almost favorite. Monsterbubble's "Day Four"--the calling birds--is perhaps my favorite of the whole magazine. If you are looking for colly birds (blackbirds) you'll be disappointed, since they are red and green. Now, you may remember that monsterbubbles produced my favorite design last year too, but what I want to know, nay need to know, is what happened to the second and third days? The one that almost does it for me is Midsummer Night Designs "I love Christmas" which has a tone-on-tone background of the lyrics to "Oh Christmas Tree." The reason I am not fully on board is that the lyrics don't run across the ornament. You have "Oh Christma/Oh Christma/of all the tre/lovel each/you b...ng to/ light meani." See what I mean? The rest of the ornaments in this section practically fade into the background for me.

"Silent Night" is another red and green section, which includes Homespun Elegance, Sweetheart Tree, and Prairie Schooler. My favorites here are the Cherished Stitches Pin Keep and Jeannette Douglas's (yes, I'm surprised too!) Christmas Stamp Ornament. She says that this is based on the new Christmas stamp. Since she is Canadian, I figured it was a new stamp from north of the border, but I have been unable to find it. I'm hoping they did a lousy job editing her story because she talks about filling her stamp collecting book with Easter seal stamps because the only ones she got were from Holland and Canada. "And it was quite something to get one from an Eastern Bloc country." Um, hello?

"White Christmas" is the snowmen and snowflake ornaments, and you know how I love snowmen! My favorite of this bunch is SamSarah's "Love." I may even be inspired to stitch one of these before Christmas. I also like Amy Bruecken's and Miss Crescent's snowmen. Honestly I don't think anyone's gone wrong on this page.

"The First Noel" seems bright and cheerful but that may be caused by the backdrop. Little by Little and Legacy Designs seem to have perfectly coordinated their Quaker-inspired designs. Like them both. I like Ladybug Lane's "Joy" ornament that is accented by JABC buttons. Casey Buonaugurio continues to focus on converting flavors to cross stitch with a peppermint latte. (How does she not weigh 1200 pounds?) I like the Erica Michaels 40-count rendition of "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year" though I'm not so fond of the finishing. I also like Charlotte's Web's angel. The story on this one is cute: Charlotte was nostalgic for a particular Christmas ornament of her youth, so she stitched a replica. Nice! How much do I hate to see large chunks of magazine being wasted on literary Christmas quotes? Use it to perfect the layout!

Last, and perhaps least, is the "Little Drummer Boy" section. This is where the much ballyhooed sock monkey appears. The crazy bird from Jemini this year is a puffin! I'm always happy to see those birds, even if I've yet to stitch one of them. The dragon lovers will be happy to see Jennifer's gift, and the kitty lovers will be pleased with Brittercup's design of a cat among the presents. Dog lovers can hang. Finally, I'm a little disturbed by "When Santa Got Stuck in the Chimney." People, we don't want to freak the kids out.

I know many of you skip over the stories, and frankly you're not missing much. I think many of the layout problems could be solved simply by including only the ornaments. From my perusal of the stories, I think they are often harder work that designing the ornament. They're either poorly written or poorly edited. And most of them are boring, frankly. Family stories are either the same (we all have that story about...) or are so odd that they should be kept under wraps. And I honestly don't care about your grandchildren; you're the only one who finds their antics cute. Everyone is being polite when they nod and smile. Look carefully, you'll see our eyes have glazed over when you start telling us all their ages. Sandra Sullivan (Homespun Elegance) puts Martha Stewart to shame with her story which isn't about Christmas at all--it's about her daughter's wedding. (See why we need to get rid of these?) She handcut savory shortbread into a "W" to put on all the salads at the reception. Frankly, I would have been a lot happier not knowing that.

There are only 16 ornaments that I would put on my to-be-stitched list. The fewest in ages. I also blame the magazine for the lack of funny in my review. I keep looking at it and reading it but I got nothin'. Maybe we're all a little tired.

JCSO Review

Hey, kids! Elizabeth Newlin of Bent Creek came and checked out your interpretations of Swirlygig. Are you swooning?

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As people have mentioned this year's book (that's magazine-speak for magazine) is laid out differently. More like a Leisure Arts Christmas Cross-stitch book (like what normal people call a book): there is a photo of one themed group followed by all the instructions for those ornaments. The Christmas stories are included here, but the recipes are compiled in the back. Unfortunately the designers didn't get the memo so some of the stories were about the recipes or the designer merely said, "enjoy this recipe," which wasn't even there. I have an idea. It's a cross-stitch magazine. No more recipes!

So I was hoping against hope that these changes meant that all the patterns and their respective color charts would end up on the same page--which is really useful for the end user. As it turns out, that isn't the case. Why the massive shift, if the end result isn't any more user friendly?

Every year I make the dude look at the ornaments on offer and pick the ones he likes. This year as we were flipping through he remarked, "Isn't this the same every year?" While I might have defended it in years past, this year, I kind of got that feeling as well. There are a couple of specific patters I could compare to old ones, but I shall refrain. Word is the designers don't get paid for this. I'd totally mail it in myself.

Still that makes the designers who put in extra effort somehow well, either wonderful or naive. A designer I spoke to (e-mailed) said that these ornaments were their gifts to the stitchers. Which makes you wonder how much the ornament issue brings into the JCS coffers...I'm a cynic and a critic...I tend to look at these things a little differently. But I digress.

Up front are the snowy ornaments: three unimpressive snowmen and a cute sheep*. The ice skating couple has a cute story and I like that the guy's sweater is stitched in woolly thread. Not so much that his trousers are, and why not her sweater? There are several "stitching" ornaments; the first appears here--a white tree made up of scissors, needle and thread. Not for me, not as a Christmas ornament anyway. There's an angel with something at its feet. At first I thought it was a penguin. At second glance, it looked like a dog**. It turns out its a JABC Jesus button (maybe just a baby?) in a stitched manger. Apparently, I need to have my eyes checked. I think the angel might be too tall, throwing off the Jesus proportions. But what do I know? How tall are angels anyway? Favorites on this page are Mosey's sheep and Blackbird's Peace House.

The next section hosts the Christmas Trees. One is a stitch sampler which impressed the dude, and I like Cindy Valentine's tree too. Amy Brueken (the half sister and best friend) has another sheep, though I am not crazy about the finishing (same as in the preview issue). Speaking of finishing, Fine-ally Finished has a mistletoe ball that is kind of weird, but she did thorough research on the meaning of mistletoe. Also, there's a frog charm on it, and it's called "Mistletoad" which completely perplexes me. Our friend Monique is on this page with her dingbat*** person. She's got a needle and it's titled "Christmas Stitching." I might make that into a needlebook rather than an ornament. There's the Tiny Tim quote, "God Bless Us Everyone" which I like but the dude doesn't think it is Dickensian, well, in the sense that Tiny Tim wasn't speaking for the author. It's rough living with a Dickens scholar sometimes.

The next section is labeled "Winter Wonderland." These are the pinky/purple ornies. I love Forget-Me-Nots In Stitches (the most cumbersome name in cross-stitch)--the colors, the fabric, the shape, the finishing, the carnation--though I'd probably change or omit the quote ("What can I give Him, poor as I am? What I can I give Him: give my heart") on the band that turns the heart into a mattress ornament. I like the shaker ornament--think of a shaker card from papercrafting--as well. I think it was Kathryn who said she'd use foam core, but you'd have to have a very sharp knife and steady hand not to end up with raggedy edged foam core. And I am not that person. Still, why does this one look like Curacao? (See what I mean?) Charland has a long story about how angelic her mother is; you'd think that an angel ornament would follow. No, a bell pull with "rejoice." Huh. Brittercup has a Britter Kitty and Ladybug Lane gives us a Scottie dog. I think Cross-Eyed Cricket's little elf is adorable.

Blue Christmas is, you guessed it, blue. Susan Greening Davis has a cute house, but the quote, "It took a miracle to hang the stars in place" isn't right for us. There are three more generic snowman, and a blue bird called "Twitter Blue." It's not the bird from Twitter, not even that cyan shade of Twitter blue. Heartstrings Santa isn't roly poly this year. Little By Little's Chilly Frilly (white flowers) doesn't frill me. Big Toe, whose designs I will probably never stitch, has a pretty cross.

Primitive, Celtic, and Quaker ornaments make up the "Old Fashioned Holiday" section. I like the Penny Angel though the dude didn't know what it was supposed to be. There's a spot ornament. Small spot samplers don't work well, I think. "It's messy," said the dude. Moss Creek gives us Haw berries and a long lesson on Joseph of Arimathea and the Holy Haw. It's a scissors keep. I like the Jeanette Douglas "Christmas" (over one) and the La-D-Da "Merry Christmas." I can see stitching the Cherished Stitches for Edgar and lo! it's a needlebook. This might be the best section.

Christmas Confetti (is that a real thing?) follows. Love the layout: the ornaments have been photographed on chartreuse sequins. When I showed this to the dude he pointed to the flamingo and said that was just wrong. But no! You know I have a soft spot for the Jemini designs birds--and they're back. My favorite ornament in the whole book is Day One from monsterbubbles. I'm sure it is not for everyone but you do know this review is my informed opinion rather than yours. Charlette's Collectibles remains scary. I think it's because she can't spell her name, godblessher. Country Cottage has a cute one in her usual style--"Visions of Sugar Plums." I like the pomander by Ink Circles, but perhaps the fabric should be more orange? "Run, Run Rudolph" is Raise the Roof's tribute to those stop animation films of my (our) youth. Still 21st century me hates that horribly sexist, conformist version of the story. Then there's some stuff on perforated paper.

Deck the Halls is a section of red and green ornaments. Imaginating Breast Cancer ornament has a horribly depressing blurb even though it's about hope. Shepherd's Bush finally turned their designing pencils to the true meaning of Christmas, giving us "Santa's Flight." And it's about time! Victoria's Sampler Christmas Tree Scissors Keep matches her Gingerbread Stitching House. Now that I know these women aren't getting paid, more power to her and the others that stitch something to match something they have for sale!

In "Joy to the World" we have the red but not really religious ornaments. Here, I like Fancy Work's "Jingle all the Way," Tanya's primitive spot sampler, Loopylou's little Christmas Tree and Midsummer Night's lamb. I love the sheep, peeps.

Quick show of hands: have you ever cooked any of the recipes in the Just Cross Stitch ornament issue? Or should we scrap those six pages in favor of getting the color charts and patterns on the same damn page! See survey right.

There are a few pages of "exclusive" mail order kits. You know there's something wrong when the tiny BBD ornie runs $49.

Some quick takes:
* Frank grew a beard to play Santa for his grandson. He strikes me as such a fun guy. He's probably a right prick. But I'll maintain my fantasy: he is Santa Claus.
* Stop sending in diet recipes. Okay, send them, but don't tell us they are low fat. You people are pooping on my party.
* Roasted vegetables is not a Christmas recipe!
* Is peach salsa "Christmas in July" or "July at Christmas"?
* Check the ads on page 19. Cat's Whiskers needs a closer look. Wow. That's bright. I like Prancer's antlers (Hinzeit).
* Amy Brueken--let's party with her. Vegas, baby! Now that's a Christmas story!
* Who knew Workbasket designed from two continents? Coming soon, update on my Workbasket piece!


*The dude wanted to know what sheep had to do with Christmas, but fortunately all those years (okay, four) in Catholic school learned me about the Lamb of God.

**The fact that the design was called "Glory to the Newborn King" apparently means nothing to me.

***In the graphics sense, not the idiot sense.

2008 Ornament Issue

It's become a bit of a tradition, reviewing the ornament issue. The dude was making fun of me, "It's a red letter day in the blogosphere." I haven't seen loads of people talking about theirs yet. Are you all done with it? So caught up in the Halloween issue you have no thoughts for Christmas ornies? Well, too bad, I'm talking about it anyway.

I wrote this last night, and I wanted to check a few things before I posted this. But I can't find the frickin' magazine. I bought it on Saturday. I had people over yesterday, and now it is missing. I probably put it away while I was straightening up. Let this be a lesson to you: never do housework! We're just going to have to go with what I've written.

The first set of ornaments features the sort-of primitives, most in a sort of pinkie red and dusty green. There's a Quaker darning sock which is cute, a star filled with La D Da flowers--adorable--a Blackbird Designs stocking. This year Fancy Work went with Adeste Fideles, which I love singing in Latin but won't stitch. There's a mini biscornu. Moss Creek offers a needlebook which has a rather sophisticated design, the first in a series of stitching accessories. Sweetheart Tree is being Sweetheart Tree, but I think that my favorite is Hands to Work's Joy needleroll ornie.

Oh there are snowman ornaments galore to follow: cute ones from SamSarah, Casey Buonaugurio, Mosey and Me and CCN. This year's Mosey doesn't look like Frank! In fact, he's not even pictured with Judy--too much Trading Spaces? There's a cute bluebird with a Santa cap from M Designs and a figure skater from Primrose Needleworks. Not crazy about the pun, at least it makes sense.

Next comes the houses including a 3-D house from Victoria Sampler, which is cute. I'm not that thrilled with the others. They seem like deja vu all over again.

The next group goes together in a way I can't quite name. Hardanger motifs? Quakerish? Sampleresque? Anyway, DebBee's Designs band sampler just needs a touch of black to make it totally Jamaican. The colors are just off. Love My Big Toe's "Peace" design and Glory Bee's "Merry." Full Circle's cardinals are worth a mention as well. But the rest? Not so much.

Turn the page for redwork: a turtle dove, a reindeer, a snowman, a Quaker stocking. There's a white floss on red fabric sampler tree from Sue Hillis. Ink Circles interprets poinsettias and Homespun Elegance has a Quaker piece with an interesting finish. Finally, there's a piece of candy wrapped in plastic. I'm not sure I'm going through the trouble of stitching something then wrapping it in plastic. Who's with me?

The following group is the angels, with about a 50-50 cute and creepy factor. Two are really cute: Wildflower (the Ex-Sister and BF) and Midsummer Night. I think I'm drawn to the colors (teal, lime, and purple; sometimes you are just done with red and green). Prairie Moon's Angel I feel like I've seen and LHN's is a bit religious for me but is nice. JBW Designs and Charlette's Collectables are the creepy. And do designers not know that this hobby of ours in international? Keep stitching patriotic things people, and watch your market shrink.

Trees! And some of my faves! Monsterbubbles encourages us to stitch on copper mesh and punch it full of holes. Sign me up! I like Little by Little's primitive trees. Lizzie*Kate's tree is tiny, um, she really knocked herself out--I guess she owns stock in Stitch a gift. (And it the finishing that makes it.) Another tiny little stocking from Brightneedle, but at least they stitch theirs over one. And a special shout out to Monique who gives us a cute little four patch.

The next page offers um, silvery-white ornaments. I like Forget-Me-Nots in Stitches "Honoring Christmas" (the Dickens' quote) ornament. For her that can be about Jesus and it can be about something completely different for me. There's a silver band ornament from Charlotte's Web that I would stitch. Some others are pretty but not to my taste. But a special mention for Cross-eyed Cricket, one of my favorite designers: that Hershey's kiss with wings is just weird.

Where would we be without Santa? Dragon Dreams gives us Santa snuggling with a dragon. I like Charland's little Santa, especially the finishing. I often stitch Heartstring's Santas, but this one honors her dead husband and that's just a little creepy for me. Maybe I can stitch him without the angel wings? There's also a gingerbread ornie from Stitchworks and a nutcracker from Thistle Threads. I like the otter from Jemini, but I miss the crazy-ass birds she usually does. Finally Raise the Roof contributes a chocolate snowman in a cup "Walt the malt." I'm just confused. But it's playful.

The final page offers up the pink and green ornaments. There's another biscornu and a pinkeep. Gentle Pursuits offers a Quaker motif, but it's too godsquad for me. There's a pretty noel ornie from Erica Michaels, nice colors. I like Amy Bruecken's "I Believe" for the colors. Knotted Tree contributes a dove--there is definitely the peacenik/love our troops divide in the magazine about 50-50 if you bother to read the stories and you know I have to.

Bloggers and people in the shops kept saying this was a great issue. I'm wondering if I think so. I think I would stitch about 20 of the designs, which is a respectable number. But there are things I think need to be improved. Number one is the layout, which BITES. Let's advocate for one designer per page. I'm tired of having the pattern on one page and the color key on another. Also, two designers promise us recipes and the editor cut them out (Needleplay is one, I needed to check for the other). If you're going to delete the recipes, you have to make the necessary changes in the introductory paragraph; this is editing 101. And speaking of, if you're going to give a recipe, do that. Don't give us a short dissertation on it. There's just too much copy, especially when it screws up the layout. One designer per page! I'm not a huge fan of Sweetheart Tree, but she went with the short and sweet message, "Merry Christmas." Well, thank you! Thank you very much.

But you came here for the snark.

• Love the cookies and beer story from Raise the Roof. I think Santa should get more beer.
• Belinda of Blue Ribbons made me want to send her mother some flannel jammies for Christmas Eve. (We used to get them too.)
• Two pumpkin cakes--Cherished Stitches and My Mark--who's going to bake and compare? Or am I the only one who thinks it's like wearing the same dress as someone else at the party?
  
• And sugar cookies anyone? Let's just decide that everyone already has a sugar cookie recipe and stop submitting these.
• Tracy Riffle missed out. Just because the first present you open early and wrap back up isn't so great (in her case a robe) doesn't mean you shouldn't keep working at it! (I've been unwrapping and rewrapping my Christmas gifts for over thirty years.)
• I know Christmas is a time of family and if you're Dickens, ghosts. Still I'm not sure it's appropriate to tell me about your dead relatives in your Christmas story. Let's all go to our happy place.
  
• Vegetables, still not Christmas food, okay?

BH& G Holiday Crafts

It's crazy but they went so far as etsy to find designers for the new magazine. And there is some cute shit. They finally got it!

Lots of felt: Linda Solovic contributed some cute jack o'lanterns (you can get the idea from the pumpkin in her gallery); Cassi Griffin contributed the felt wreath from last winter; and betz white has a new (petite) version of the cupcake for you to try. There are a set of covers for kitchen canisters, a pillow and table runner, and the santa on the cover. There's felt people! And glitter! Not on the felt, but on those cute retro papier mache ornies that I'd like to try if I weren't absolutely convinced that they would end up looking exactly like shapeless blobs. With glitter.

There are a lot of projects featuring snowmen. There is some punchneedle and two embroidery projects. But the cross-stitch, she is dead.

You know I hate BH&G for their pattern recycling. But I would recommend this one. There's some real cute stuff.

Now can someone please tell me why I cannot find the fricking JCS Halloween issue anywhere?

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And let's give a shout-out to bestpal: Happy Birthday!

The Review

I picked up my stitching friend DD at BWI on Friday with two Google maps to get us to Winterthur and then to the LNS. Unfortunately, I didn't look too closely at the maps and we ended up at Winterthur Lane in Newark, DE. Which isn't as far off as it may seem, but still isn't a big ol' DuPont mansion. We did drive right by, but who was to know? They don't label anything in Delaware. We ended up at a cute and delicious little restaurant, Pamela's Gourmet, just past Winterthur Ln. Don't go if you're in a rush, the service leaves something to be desired. Anyway, we stopped at the LNS and I picked up the JCS Ornament Issue and SamSarah's Rise and Shine.

Now that I'm back at work, I can review it.

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We begin with stockings and red and green. Well, do try to open at page 10; if you open the front cover, be sure you are wearing your sunglasses--what is up with that Charles Craft stocking? Have they made it that bright to rival the Star of Bethlehem so you'll get the gold, frankincense, and myrrh? That is one neon fabric for Christmas. Anyway, back to page 10: five ornaments feature a stocking and three are miscellaneous. The Prairie Schooler Design matches their Cranberry Christmas. On this page my favorite is Designs by Cathy Jean (new to me); she's done a folk art stocking, but I'd probably leave off the sentiment. Far be it from me to tell Santa what to put in my stocking.

Next, we have the red and green ornaments. Moss Creek Designs is going with the ethnic things again, this time the Dalahast (put an umlaut on the last a). Don't know about the "goodwill horse"? Don't worry; Rae has written about it in breathtaking detail. (I know her; I like her, but still...). Lizzie*Kate has a Lizzie*Kate ornament. Interestingly Scandanavian Stitches doesn't use the Scandinavian dalahast, but contributes a tree decorated with hearts. It's okay. M Designs has a different tree--it seems a little fair isle for my taste. I almost never like Ursula Michael's designs, but she's contributed a pink floral wreath that you could use for a biscornu.

The next set of ornaments are darker red and green. This may be the first time I thought I'd stitch a Brittercup Design. Whe's got a lovely poinsettia done in her "outline" style. This time, it works for me. I like La-D-Da's "Yule Flower" but you knew I would. Fans of the Workbasket will be disappointed to see that they have not contributed a Quaker design. Theirs reminds me of the Brightneedle houses only stitched over two and using horrible colors.

Santa shows up in various forms. From cute and pudgy (Knotted Tree) to um, Santa as one of the Marx Brothers (Raise the Roof, but we expect it of them). I usually love the Heartstrings Santas, but I'm not keen this year with symbols of Christmas growing out of the top of his head. You almost don't recognize the Dragon Dreams ornament because the dragon is secondary to the really otherwise cute Santa. Carriage House has a toy shop sign with Santa on it, and it almost works. Mosey and Me's Santa looks like Frank. Does everything they do look like Frank, or is that just me?

I would have to say of all the photo spreads, the Christmas trees are my favorite. Very even, though I probably wouldn't stitch them all. I love Erica Michaels forest and Charland Designs' Tipsy Tree (though not the finishing...). Brightneedle cannot go wrong; they've finished their cute dainty ornament as a pinkeep. There are also a scissor fob and scissor case from Follow the Leader. I wouldn't stitch all of these, but I really can't complain.

The next group of ornaments is the "random" group. It includes Shepherd's Bush's continuation of their series, "Their sweet baby kept." I'm no Bible expert, but is that opposed to the sweet baby who rotted? DD tells me she keeps trying to read it as "Their sweet baby slept." I would be indebted to the person who directed me to the carol or passage that they are using for these. Especially where it says "wisemen." But I digress. Cross-Eyed Cricket contributes a mitten with a shepherd, and I like it, except that it's a mitten. Forget-Me-Nots in Stitches has "happy Chrismas" and I'm not keen on it. I love Little by Little's Merry and Bright star. And Country Cottage's ornament is cute but a little pink.

Wild describes the next group of ornaments. Imaginating contributes a "Wacky Holiday" and in case you were wondering about the woman on the ornament, you get her full story. I couldn't read it, I'm sure someone can get back to me with a two sentence treatment. Charlotte's Web contributes a slightly demented-looking doll, but the story explains everything. It's sort of sweet, sort of weird. I'm backing away slowly. S&BF's "flakey" ornament is cute, but I'm not ready to welcome flakes into my life (not the snow kind, the annoying person kind). I like SamSarah's "Winter Love" (you got a taste of it in the preview issue) and her story is sweet, but her life is sure gonna change. My favorite (and the dude's) is the Eiffel Tower by monsterbubbles. I don't know why the Eiffel Tower, it just is. Love the green fabric!

We haven't left out the animals this year: four birds, two cats, one dog, and a reindeer. I'm not a cat person, but the blackwork cat from Kitty & Me is pretty. Crossed Wing's cardinal is different--stitched on red. I might do the woodpecker from Jemini for the dude, although he does want to know what the bird has to do with Christmas. (We saw a pileated woodpecker on a hike last spring.) If your kids love Happy Feet, they'll be happy with the penguin from the Stitchworks. And my mom will be happy with the yellow lab.

Angels 'n' things describes the section on page 26. Two scary angels, one primitive angel, and one country. The latter two, totally stitchable. There is a set of bells on this page, ehn. And "Do you hear what I hear?" provides the words for a star ornament that I think is too glitzy, but I've heard it said, you can't be too glitzy at Christmas. Gentle Pursuits Designs' ornament is nice in a sampler sort of way, but too much Jesus for me.

The final collection of ornaments is purple and blue and such. I cannot imagine stitching Still Stitching with Susan's hardanger candle holders for my Christmas lights. And I only put up six of them. Ther's another hardanger ornament, I think it's supposed to look like a wrapped taffy. I like Rosewood Manor's Christmas Lace blackwork and beads ornament, and LHN's Snow Bunnies is too cute!

I've read all the stories and recipes. Here's what I have to say:

1. You're a cross-stitch designer, not an evangelist. No Bible passages. We have to remember that Christmas is about Santa Claus, people!
2. How funny is it that the first two designers (Angel Stitchin and Bizzi Creations) both sent in no-bake cookie recipes that are virtually identical. Who's going to make them both and tell us which one is better?
3. Our new editor made a booboo. (So mean of me to point out, like I've never made an editing mistake in our magazine.) They forgot to tell us which page the finishing is on xx (see page 47). And could she not edit Colleen Leader's story: "I bought the biggest tree I could find and drug it through the front door"? What kind of drugs do you use to get a tree through the door?
4. If you got divorced, would you announce it in a magazine? You know, if you weren't a celebrity? (Still love her Santa.)
5. No more rhyming recipes.
6. No more recipes for broccoli, no matter how much it's supposed to make us want broccoli. That's just not in the Christmas spirit. Even the people on low-glycemic diets can give us muffins.

The Three Wisemen

A/Irreligious as I may be, I own a copy of the Bible (KJV). I checked that Bible, and not in Daniel, Matthew, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Proverbs, 1st Corinthians, The Book of Job, Deuteronomy, Esther, Exodus, Ezekiel, Ecclesiastes, Genesis, Obadiah, Psalms or the Apocrypha does anyone refer to the "wisemen." But Wise Men, as in came tramping through the desert to meet the baby Jesus, is two words in each reference. This was the first thing I noticed paging through the 2003 JCS Ornament Issue. The Shepherd's Bush ornament has a figure carrying a charm jug walking away from a star (followed by a boat for some reason) with the stitched caption "Wisemen came." It's unmistakably two words where, of course, there should be three. How could no one have noticed this--not the designers, not the magazine editor, or photographers, no one? What's more, everywhere you look in the magazine, it's "wisemen came." If this is what fundamentalist religiosity is doing to the country, well, it's no wonder everything's going to hell in a hand-basket.

My complaints about Dragon Dreams and the Stitcher's Habit (Merry Moosedroppings!) seem to have been heeded; neither designer is in this issue.

Overall, I was underwhelmed. There are about 14 designs I'd like to do out of 75; I think that's a record low. Both Bent Creek and Heart in Hand designed house ornaments. There's a neat circle of trees from The Workbasket. There's a page full of snowmen (I like the Twisted Threads one best, but SO asked, "didn't you do that one before?"). There's a set of "traditional" red and green ornaments with a particularly staid one from Mosey 'N Me that I like. There's a section of animal/bird ornaments, including a really funky flamingo with an Esatz wreath--my favorite on that page. There's a selection of Santas, but none are out of this world. There's a group with "dark palettes" including a Prairie Schooler that matches their new book "Starry Night." (That ought to give you a sense of those ornaments.) There's a collection of ornaments that have "Joy, Peace, or Love" in them. JBW's "Love" is pretty and Lizzie*Kate's "Peace" has a neat row of Christmas symbols underneath. This is where the wisemen appear. There's the page of "unusual color" ornaments. They're nothing to write home about, although I think there's something about Graphs by Barbara and Cheryl's plaid Christmas tree. The next page has several of the issue's ugliest ornaments, including a gingerbread man who could give children nightmares. And you know how I feel about Cherished Teddies. The last page of photos has the "white" ornaments. Lots of hardanger and cut-work, but my favorite is a bitty stocking by Brightneedle.

Am I jaded or have the designers lost something here?

I got K's scarf done and I'm very far along on Rose Gallica, even though I had to pick up the new magazine and flip through it again and again this weekend. I'm still not sure I can make the Friday deadline because there is a lot of backstitching left to do on this one. We'll see how far I get while watching Monday Night Football.

When will I review 2003?

Sorry, dear reader. I went to the LNS bright and early on Saturday only to find that the JCS Ornament Issue is not for sale yet. It wasn't clear to me whether this resulted because they didn't have it yet or because the shop owner is away and the half-wits she lets run the shop in her absence can't be trusted to unpack them. So, I won't be able to report until next Saturday. Unless it should appear at one of the ubiquitous magazine stands around town.

I went to the knit-out in Santa Monica yesterday and I learned to crochet, got two free crochet hooks and a pair of knitting needles, and found out about a bunch of local knitting groups around the Southland. In case you ever thought the knit-out was too lame for you, my friend AK said that it was "way better than I thought it would be." But that's not what you came here for.

I bought a copy of BH&G's "Cross-stitch Christmas"--the one that comes in the plastic bag so you have to guess at what's inside and divine whether you want to purchase it or not. BH&G is pretty notorious for repackaging their old designs, so this one guarantees that they are 52 new projects. Initial scan suggests that none are repeats from their calendars, books, or other magazines. However, their count of 52 includes one pattern stitched and finished two ways=2. If the pattern's the same, I say, it doesn't matter if you give me two color ways, or suggest a different fabric count or way of finishing--it's only one new pattern. So 52 is their count.

Big Name Designers
The first two projects are Lorri Birmingham ornaments, a santa and a snowman, and they're cute if you like her stuff which I find a bit saccharine. They are finished by being attached to the ubiquitous Nantucket basket. There's a version of Mary Engelbreit's "Hark! Harold the Angel Sings."

SANTA
There's a section of Santas which includes a "Russian Santa"; this seems to be translated as a frowning Santa. I guess you'd frown too if you had to give coal to the good kids. He's got some real toys attached to him, to strange effect. It's okay. There's a Scandinavian Santa box and ornament on Aida. Eh. There's a Sinter Klaus pillow design which is stitched in a different color coat and offered as a "basket wrap"--so two sets of finishing instructions. The interest with these guys is that they have fluffy Rainbow Gallery threads for the beard and fur trim on the coat; I think this is the only thing in the magazine that I'd stitch. There's an "old-world" Santa designed by Lorrie Birmingham, although less Birmingham-esque than the first ornaments, finished both as an ornament and as a pillow. He doesn't seem happy, and he's wearing a purple dress. Coincidence? Any way, that makes him old-world. There's a Santa pin (ok) and an ugly wall hanging with a Santa head and a wreath that says "Jingle All the Way."

Get religion
There is a nativity set designed by Carol Emmer "translated with permission from the Fontanini Heirloom Nativity Collection." They're all there: Mary, Joseph, baby Jesus, two sheep, and angel with a banner "Gloria", and an angel holding a sheep. No Wise Men. (If you visit the website, you can see the crazy people who keep the Fontaninis in business with their EPIC nativity scenes.)

Old-fashioned Elegance

A country-type scene with a house and "Peace on Earth" surrounded by poinsettias designed by Sandra Cozzolino, but looking nothing like her Santa ornaments that I collect and you might find in The Stitchery Catalog (now produced by Mill Hill).

A candle screen done in red work that has "Welcome" on it with cross-shaped poinsettias.

"Toile" stockings--red or green holly and poinsettias.

Victorian Beaded ornaments

Poinsettia tablecloth and napkins (white flowers on white damask fabric with cross-stitch fabric inserts) (sort of hideous)

Snowmen

snowman and santa place cards on perforated paper set in funky cubes with curled wire

two snowman ornaments, one on a sled.

the cover piece, designed by Ursula Michaels

a snowman surrounded by a mitten shape with the words "warm, woolen, winter" on the borders

two Mill Hill (beaded) snowman ornaments on perforated paper, both dressed in red, white and blue in case you forgot we won the war

Country Christmas

A mirror insert "All Hearts Come Home at Christmas" with reindeer and Nordic elements. Done in overdyed flosses with Smyrna Cross snowflakes

Happy Holiday tray and matching placemat and napkins. All have a pine cone motif. This is an unusual and attractive motif.

Sweet Angels
"Scandinavian" angels. I'm not sure what makes them Scandinavian. They're nothing special. There are just the two--and a whole page "Sweet Angels" announcing their arrival (ie. lots of dead air space).

Nine pages of "cross-stitch shop" mail order catalog.

Final recommendation: unless you collect Fontanini, there's no need to pay $6 for the privilege of taking off the plastic wrap.

2002

I have not stitched any of these either. Why I am so excited about getting more patterns? I haven't even done the ones I have.

After 5 years, many people have run out of good Christmas stories; unfortunately for the dear reader, they are foisting the bad ones on us. Just send in a damn recipe, people! That way we don't have to hear the pointless Christmas tales spun by people who work far better with needle and floss than pen and paper.

In this issue, I have marked 26 of the 76 for stitching. There's one that needs to be stitched for all your feminist friends. Sisters and Best Friends (I swear, I am not on their payroll) have created "Peace on Earth, Goodwill toward Women." And for all you feminists who have materialist relatives, you can stitch Meg Thompson Shinall's sampler: "Just send the five gold rings and cancel the rest of my true love's order." But please, Shinall must have a recipe she can send, instead of some pointless story about putting Christmas adornments on her cats. Really. Terry Nolan of Dimples Designs has contributed his first ornament; it's an antique Santa in browns. No Christmas story from Nolan, although he's not that bad of a writer. You’ll know it if you've stitched any of that Professor Fizzby series. Rae Iverson can write too; she's got a master's degree in English--medieval, I think. Her contribution of ski hats (the ornaments) this year was a bit, well, different, and the story just went on and on. At least I don't have to research it to make sure it's accurate. (I'm not dropping the Christmas Clown thing.)

Several cats this year, but you know I need those for my framer (Casual Cat in Amherst, NH). And another Moose: "Merry Mooseness." Do these people who make the moose ornaments not get how language works? It's a social contract, dammit! We have to all be in on the joke, or it's not a joke, see?

Perhaps you think I should be harder on the thistle ornament, but I won't do it. My MIL is Scottish, and anything I can do for her is good stuff. Lauren Sauer, who may be the craziest stitcher outside the asylums, keeps the "true meaning" of Christ-mas in all her designs. Even though she believes that Jesus spent his "lost years" in England, I can't make fun of her designs. The one in the 2002 edition is a sweet boy carrying a star on a pole. I'm sure she's done her research as she explains that in European villages of old a small boy lead the procession of the faithful to services on Christmas Eve, his star symbolizing the one that brought the wise men to Bethlehem. It's not for me, but it's very pretty.

2001

I went to three general magazine shops last night to see if I could find the new ornament issue, but to no avail. I might try B&N tonight, otherwise I'll have to wait until Saturday to get to my LNS.

So here's the review of 2001.

I haven't stitched any of these. But I've marked 25 that I'd like to stitch. My favorite is by Sisters and Best Friends. They thought that their snowman looks so much like their father that they included his picture instead of their own. They're right.

There are a number of ornaments in this issue that use different techniques. Quite a number of hardanger ornaments and an Assissi snowman by Twisted Threads.

The weird ones include a rooster pulling Santa in a sleigh that is strangely attractive. There are of course the Christmas cow, the Christmas racoon, and the Christmas panda bear. These I will not research further. If you have Christmas cows and racoons and panda bears, that's just your problem, isn't it? One does have to appreciate the panda on some level, perhaps a rather low-brow one; the designer made it for her daughter, newly adopted from China. Sweet, but I hope she learns more about Chinese culture for her daughter's sake. There are lots of teddies, including the frightening "Cherished Teddy" series. Who collects this
crap? Dragon Dreams, I hate to single her out, but this obsession with
dragons! You need a sleeping dragon ornament, don't you?

If I had just had the weekend, I would have finished before the new one came out!

I was away from my computer this weekend, down at Del Mar. Had I been able to post, I would have completed my review of the JCS Ornament Issues before the 2003 edition came out. But I will plug on...

Most disappointingly, in 2000, Theron Traditions snuck in a recycled ornament. She taught it at the Celebration of Needlework in NH in 1998, maybe [MB: you remember when?]. Not only had I already stitched it by 2000, but it had actually hung on the tree, which you know means I finished something. Everybody gets the finishing distinction, right? As in giving a finished appearance to something: gluing on a backing, sewing into a stuffed shape, putting a frame on it.

But we'll forgive Ms Theron because she didn't release the little bird widely.

In this issue I stitched Birds of a Feather "Christmas Heart" (the Dickens quote, done on jury duty); Kitty & Me's "Christmas Cardinal" (this was finished for my trainer who is from one of the seven states that has the cardinal as its state bird, finished); Mosey 'n Me's "Once a Year Visitor" (cute Frank-like Santa in a mint green coat); SamSarah's "Happy Winter" (with lots of cute buttons from their company); Twisted Threads' "Fa La La"; Lizzie * Kate's "Christmas Spider" (which is missing the spider); Bent Creek's "Angel of Joy" (which I did twice with different hair/eye color combinations for my nieces).

Again, there are 10 more I'd like to do. Especially, "No Peeking" by DKT Originals. I think she designed it just for me. I'm much too old for this type of behavior (much, much too old), but I just hate waiting for surprises. Over the years I have become very adept at unwrapping and rewrapping presents so I can find out what's in there. The wide-spread use of gift bags has really taken the fun out of my bad behavior.

The weirdo ornaments in this edition are the Christmoose tree, a combination Christmas tree and moose (see, it's not even a bad pun!), the golfing Santa (Santa may or may not enjoy golfing, but I'm pretty sure he ditches the red suit for this activity), and the good old Christmas butterfly. That last one will require more research--just like the Christmas clown.

Just Christmas Ornament Issue, 1999

Another seventy-five ornaments. None were recycled. I've only done two from this issue: Mosey 'n Me's "Santa's Little Goodie Bag" and Imaginating's "Snow Fun." Since I stitched the former upside down, it's not going to be a goodie bag. Santa can make his own damned goodie bag. I gave "Snow Fun," unfinished, to my framer because she had gone above and beyond the call of duty for me, framing a small piece in less than a week and not charging me for it at all. I should probably stitch her small ornaments with cats in them for the rest of our lives.

There are 28 more that I want to do. I don't know how I managed to stitch so many more in the 1998 edition than in this one. I guess most of the ornaments that I have stitched out of these magazines were done while I was on jury duty in 1999 and 2001. I must have never taken this issue. That was quality stitching time! I packed up little kits to take with me, and I complete about a dozen ornaments in those 20 days (two sessions of ten each). Finished just two--for my neices.

This is the only edition that has an ornament by Drawn Thread. It's a beauty--a sampler bell pull.

No weirdos in this issue, but there are "Cherished Teddies" and "Kidlinks" ornaments. Oh, the humanity!

Ornament Issue, 1998

Nineteen ninety eight was a better year for the Ornament Issue. Twenty four more ornaments for a total of 75 and none recycled. [NB: Told in a Garden hasn't appeared since.] I have completed eleven of these: Sisters and Best Friends' "No Humbugs Allowed" (I've even recently bought the buttons to finish it); Sweetheart Tree's "Hollyberry Heart"; Curtis Boehringer's "Scrooge" (for my dad); Moss Creek's "Hearts Entwined for Christmas" (another pesky box pillow); Graphs by Barbara and Cheryl's "Christmas Eve Ornament"; June Griggs's very Mary Englebreitish ornament "Joy"; Prairie Schooler's "Two by Two Deer"; Lilac Studio's "Christmas Orchid"; Ewe & Eye & Friends' "Frosty"; Mary Garry's "Swedish Christmas"; and Heart in Hand's "Woodland Noel" (needs charm).

They're all stitched but none are finished. So you can see why I need to hone my sewing skills. There are still about 14 that I would like to stitch. Great as this issue was, and I might argue it's the best one, there were two more completely crazy ornaments. The first was by Dragon Dreams and showed a knight giving a present to a dragon. You can see where it originates, but I wonder how many people stitched it. Her designs keep appearing so someone must like them. The other one was a "Christmas Clown." It is accompanied by a short paragraph explaining that early Christmas celebrations included clowns. I am checking into the historical accuracy of this, but I think someone was pulling her leg. This one was so weird, that she hasn't participated in the Ornament Issue since. The Christmas stories continue to be heartwarming though badly edited; and I love the Bent Creek sisters' childhood Christmas photo.

Where does the time go?

I can't believe so much time has passed since I last wrote. I hope I haven't let the side down. Last night, I worked on battlestargalactica while watching the rain delay... er ...tennis. I've finished the stems, one leaf, and part of a petal. As amy! explained Gallica is a hearty rose for the northern climes, and the picture I have is of a full-blown rose. The part-of-the-petal will be more defined once the backstitching is in.

As for the promised reviews of the JCS Christmas Ornaments issue as we wait for the new publication, here is the first installment.

I remember how excited I was by the first issue in 1997. The only real disappointment was the Told in a Garden ornament by Marilyn Leavitt-Imblum. She reprinted the 1994 Christmas madonna. She even called it the "1994 Christmas Madonna," in 1997! If you don't know about her Christmas angels, click. There are 51 ornaments I have stitched 3: the Sweetheart Tree's "A-maze-ing Holiday Heart," the Heart's Content's "Hark," and Hollie Design's "Santa." The only one that is finished is the Santa because it was on perforated paper. The magazine shows "Hark" finished as a box pillow, and I really wish I had those kind of sewing skills. I can't even manage to sew regular stuffed shapes. There are about 16 other ornaments that I have on my to-be-stitched list. And now I'm 6 years behind! The Christmas stories were oddly touching, but also demonstrated that some people really need editors, and the editor of the mag let readers down on that score. Other disappointments for me were the Precious Moments ornament (oh, God, the schmaltz!) and this strange "Christmas helper" ornament that shows a fluffy white dog with a gift in his mouth. Little did I realize, even weirder Christmas ornaments were on the horizon . . .