More on the Lawn

Last night when I got home from work, I gave the dude the option of cooking dinner or pulling weeds. He chose option c: "lying on the couch and watching Champions League football." I figured I could hold out for dinner, so I went back to the dandelion fight. As a result, I took about 10 stitches on the marquoir last night.

Why am I doing it, some have asked. It would be fine to have dandelions if I had a field like 'Chelle. In fact, dandelions are almost pretty. The leaves are ugly, but the flowers are nice. And if I made dandelion wine, they'd never hit the pufferball stage (my husband says these are clocks, but isn't pufferball more fun to say?). But I have a small lawn. One that butts right up against the neighbor's lawn. I just think it's part of the Neighborhood Social Contract not to allow the weeds to take over your lawn, and thus, invade the lawn of the neighbors. (The Contract also has rules about parking a car on your lawn, putting cars in your driveway up on blocks, letting your barky dog out of the house at 3:00 am, having wild parties without inviting everyone, fighting with your spouse at neighborhood functions, and having farm animals in a sub/urban area.)

We're trying to do this in a green way, so no chemical pesticides. Just the corn gluten stuff. Our lawnmower is electric (no carbon emissions or noise), but if it were up to me, it would work entirely under our own power. Of course, the neighbors are probably wondering why the fuck we don't mow it. We're waiting for a part which we should get tomorrow. As it is, we're the last ones on the block to do the first spring mow, thus breaking the Contract. But we are keeping up our end on the dandelions.

The War of the Dent-de-Lion

Taraxacum officinale is plaguing my lawn...the one I have vowed to care for this year. (Last year we focused on the inside of the house.) Last night, I took out about four (4) pounds of dandelion and dirt out of the lawn. This morning, on my way to work, I counted at least twenty more. They think they can break me.

The dude thinks this endeavor will drive me insane. And so, to be funny, I say crazy things about the dandelions. "Dude, I hear the dandelions growing out there. Shhhh! Can't you hear it?" The scary thing is if they drive me completely insane, how will he tell? I'll tell you one thing for sure, the neighbors are going to be sick of driving by the house and seeing my fat ass in the air while I dig out the weeds.

This morning we--the dude, the two older women at the busstop, and I--were discussing dandelions. The topic of consuming dandelions came up. It started me thinking. Maybe I can derive my power from them. If I start eating the leaves (our lawn was fertilized with corn gluten meal, a natural preemergent, which is nontoxic), will I prevail? Should I be making wine from the flowers? Do I know how to make wine from dandelion flowers? You got that right.

Anyway, too much dirt under the nails for stitching.