Friday, April 22, 2011

Flat Grandma

A while back I showed you the new mascot of the old lady story, who I'm starting to feel needs a name. Connie saw her having a much grander retirement than simply being a symbol.
Hey! Why can't Grandma travel the world like one of those damn stuffed animals that little kids bring home and then send to unsuspecting aunts, etc. as a "project"? You know...Grandma goes to Mishawaka, where she learns how to use profanity AND where to get a decent dirty martini...that kind of thing. She could have her very own little travel book that would document her travels...(I think the kids actually call them passports when sent with the damn animals). I would be thrilled to host her as my guest and then pass her along to another (somewhat twisted) stitcher. 
For some unknown reason, I thought she was talking about my real grandmother. So I responded politely explaining that she's decided she can no longer travel. Coni must have thought I was a wingnut.

Then CinDC said, "@Coni - I'm laughing so hard at the idea of 'Drunk Granny' travelling the world like 'Flat Stanley'" and fortunately, I caught on. (Though the idea of sending my real grandmother along to unsuspecting aunts and twisted stitchers has its appeal.) 


So here's the deal. Grandma is packing her bags and coming to a blog near you. When you receive grandma, (still needs a name) take her out and show her a good time (or what passes for a good time in your neck of the woods) and post the photos of grandma to your blog. In her package, place two postcards and a hostess gift*. One postcard for the next hostess, and one to stay with grandma as a memento of her travels. I'll add in a passport, and you should write a few notes about her time with you. Take your hostess gift and place a new gift in the bag for the next hostess.


I'm sending her to Coni since this was all her big idea. You go see Coni if you want to host next.


Oh, and how about a name?






*Something small and with local flavor. Let's not go nuts here.

14 comments:

Jo who can't think of a clever nickname said...

She looks like a Doris to me. Or Ethel. Funny how those names have not come back into fashion! Mind you, round here Grandmas have names like Sharon and Lisa they are so young.

Michele said...

she looks like Grandma Myrtle to me :)

C in DC said...

A Google search turns up St. Clair of Assisi as the patron saint of needleworkers.

Erin said...

This is the most awesome idea ever. And we could name her Arlene (that's MY Gramma, now 97 and rarely leaves her little corner of northern PA!).

Lelia said...

Adeline or Addy --- I'll take her in for a couple days. She will enjoy her stay here!

Deb said...

Oh my goodness - I remember when my so did the Flat Stanley bit and it was so much fun, although Flat Stanley almost ended up as fish fodder in the Pacific. I'll have to hop over to Coni's blog and join in on the fun.

Carolyn said...

Here is my idea for a name.

How about "The Traveling Grandma"

Remember we had "The Traveling Pattern" going around.

I like it!

Anonymous said...

Grandma Flossie....?

Really, how could you not love "Flat Flossie"? Flossy???

Margaret said...

What a great idea - hope she can come and visit New Zealand!

Miss Quoted said...

We would show Grannie a wonderful time time here in New Orleans We'd love to hve her visit !

The Queen Bee said...

I like Flat Flossy. And, I'm sure she'd enjoy some time in the Finger Lakes.

Pam

Kathy A. said...

OMG Flat Gramma needs a trip to Canada. Off to check her out!
And in your honor how about Flat Annie ROFL

doris said...

What a great idea! I'm shocked, though, that Jo thinks she looks like a Doris. I'm a grandma who knits and stitches, but that doesn't mean I'm really old. I still ski and play golf and walk lots of miles! How about Opal? Or maybe Muriel. This sounds like so much fun, I may have to fire up my cold-as-stone blog.

Michelle said...

Catching up on blog posts and I had to comment on this one. I'm laughing so hard at you sending your actual grandma to stitchers for a good time. Too funny. I love Coni's idea! Too bad she can't go to England for the wedding, that would really push you over the edge, huh? ; )