Thursday, May 20, 2010

Face It

Am I becoming obsessed with the human face in cross-stitch, or is the media? The Bangor Daily News has a story about one grandmother's efforts to embarrass the fuck out of her family:
“Once you’ve got one eye done, you’ve really got to get that other eye in there,” said Provost, describing the process she used to create cross-stitched portraits of all eight of her grandchildren and both parents. “I like to do the eyes first. That way they’re watching you while you finish the rest.”
Can you say creepy?

But this is my favorite ever description of fabric--and even though I have been studying the article's accompanying photographs, I cannot tell what type or size it is: "The pinprick-size holes are so close together it would take scientific equipment to measure the distance."

ROTFLMAO. I'm speechless. Really. But go read the whole article, and check out all the photos. Because you have to tell me, if you were the granddaughter in the lower left corner, would you totally steal that thing and burn it? Cross stitch isn't doing her any favors.


Xeyedmary said...

Well if you can't say anything nice, don't say...... She needs to find a hobby! 8000 hours??? Couldn't she have found some prettier ...... 8000 hours???? That's over 333 days!!! WTF! I wish they had said what count she stitches on; of course that would require an advanced math degree for the author to comprehend.
Well, it could be worse- she could be wasting 8000 hours stitching Precious Moments characters.

Barbara said...

I thought she did a pretty good job. Wonder if she's using 40ct over one?

Arthemise said...

What's up the the second one on the bottom? Did she not love him enough to stitch the background? We call him monochrome-background boy.

Alice said...

That is a lot of stitching time! I agree that I don't particularly want my stitching watching me....shudder.

Glenna said...

Whoa. Makes me thankful my grandma liked to drink and gamble rather than stitch.

Anna van Schurman said...

Glenna, are you my cousin? I didn't know we had the same grandmother! ;)

Jenna said...

LOL. No love for the two at the bottom left. Though, I can't help but think that a little background removal might have helped all of them. Just stitch them on a pretty overdyed fabric and you can achieve a similar result with a lot fewer stitches. The eye thing? Yes. Major creep factor. I'm just aghast at how much time she has spent on them. As for what count... Insert eye rolling here. It looks like she's using two threads, so I don't know what she might be doing it on, but it certainly doesn't take a mathematical genius to determine the thread count. LOL.

Personally, though, if I had that much time, I would be stitching HAEDs. I'm just saying. ;)

Lee said...

This is the second article that you've brought us that uses over the top language to describe cross stitching. What the heck is wrong with people who write about stitching?? I mean, seriously, a scientific experiment to count the threads? Are you a f'ing moron?

Also, I think that there will always be people who take a craft to places it wasn't meant go, and semi-lifelike cross stitched faces is one of those places. Still, I suppose it's all a matter of taste and interpretation. I like my cross stitch to look like cross stitch, not like a photo, and that's my taste and interpretation. Mrs. Provost probably wouldn't like many of the things I've stitched, either.

Now I must leave you so I can complete my interpretation of The Last Supper in Macaroni and Sea Shells. (and I was being so good at not writing snide things)