Sunday, January 13, 2008

A Girl Walks Out of a Bar

So Thursday, I went to a pub for lunch. It was a modest lunch: fish and chips and two diet cokes. On my way out, I fall down the three (3!) stairs to the sidewalk. (My heel caught. Rubber sole shoes and my heel catches. Excellent.) Fortunately, I've had a rather late lunch so there aren't that many people on the street. Just one guy walking toward me. I stand up and gingerly limp back toward the office. As I near the guy, I notice he's swerving to avoid me. He's practically walking on the curb like a gymnast on a balance beam. Suddenly, I'm pissed*. He doesn't ask if I'm okay; he thinks I'm drunk! At 2:30 in the afternoon. I so should have walked up to him, slapped him on the chest, and slurred, "Yerrrrrrrrrrrr pretty!" (That's my favorite. When guys so drunk they are practically blind tell you you're pretty. Oh, do you really think so? Thanks! Squeal!)

I've been working on Apple Sampler lately. I'm planning to start something new this week. Stay tuned.

Sissy, it turns out, is allergic to betadyne. So her leg will eventually become less bubbly over the next three weeks. She and my dad are really sensitive--allergic to medical tape and latex too. I, on the other hand, am completely insensitive. Can't you tell?

*American sense, not British

13 comments:

jo said...

Apple Sampler - itttttttt'ssssss pretty!

*poking it*

But seriously, the last time I did this it was off my front porch one morning. Thankfully my car was blocking the neighbors waiting for the school bus from seeing me. Hope there are no lingering bad effects.

Kim Ayres said...

I never getdrunk women telling me how good looking I am. Either I'm hanging around in the wrong places, or it's impossible to drink enough alcohol to do the job...

Anna van Schurman said...

Kim, that's because women aren't men. The collective drunken we don't think telling men they're good looking is a particularly effective strategy. Also, what do men really care what we think about how they look? ;P

Barbara said...

Oh that mental image is too funny - you should've, you REALLY really should've done that!

Geggie said...

That's too funny...thanks for sharing! The people here in the hotel lobby are wondering why I'm laughing out loud.

Lana Gramlich said...

Ack! Hope you're okay!

Glenna said...

LOL! It usually takes three diet cokes for me to be that drunk!

Cathy said...

Whoops. I hope you're all right. I also love when they offer to buy you a drink and then won't take no for an answer. Weirdos.

Lee said...

Love the sampler!

And I would've paid good money to see you make a pretend-drunken pass at that fellow.

Barbeeque4 said...

The sampler looks great!!!

I am glad that you're alright, and he should have been more helpful, tipsy or not, you could have been hurt - a good reason to teach him a leson.

:)

Jenna said...

What a buffoon. You totally should have done it and freaked him out. BTW, I'm glad that you starred the word pissed; otherwise, it would have blown your whole point. ;)

Jacque said...

So sorry you fell....maybe HE was drunk hence the curb-rope walking! : )

Michelle said...

Hope you didn't hurt yourself. You should have totally gotten in his face. Loving Apple Sampler - the colors are so pretty. It would look good in my kitchen!