Ordinary Me: V

V: What is V for? Venn diagram which I always use to describe relationships? Venus flytrap which I had as a child? Voter? Vilnius birthplace of my mother's paternal grandmother? Violence for my dissertation? A story about the sticky "v" on my keyboard, which makes logging in difficult? Or a Maggie story?

One Christmas eve, my grandmother asks the gathering to explain this "dot com" "www" stuff to her. The dude, perhaps naively, gamely undertakes explaining the internet to my grandmother who has never used a computer. My grandmother who can't operate her VCR, who brings scam letters to my mother to vet, who well, who understands little about this modern life she's living. The dude explains that on computers, you can find pages with these addresses; he even explains the difference between .gov, .edu, and .com. At the end of this rather sophisticated explanation, my grandmother asks, "so what's voice mail?" (Just in case I've portrayed her as a complete idiot, we do believe she meant to ask about e-mail.)

So, now, whenever the dude explains something crazy to me--like some chess opening or pot odds--I'll ask, "so what's voice mail?"