Thursday, January 04, 2007

Cheaters

Pictured are my new cheaters. Can you see the copper crystals that match my hair? I bought them when I went to Stein Mart to attend to the Great Pants (Trousers) Fiasco.

Moving into the cheaters phase of my life while I have a face that screams "card me" when I order a drink is so confusing. But I guess that's what mid-life crisis is all about: daydreaming about running off to Monaco with Gus Hansen while wearing your cheaters. Daydreaming about running with the bulls in Pamplona while wearing your cheaters. Daydreaming about running down the Malibu coast with Matthew McConaughey, firm skin--a firm body like you haven't had since you were 12--glistening with the oils you've rubbed on each other mixed with pure sweat... Or daydreaming about running anywhere at all while you're wearing an orthopaedic shoe after your bunion surgery. Yeah, that's middle age.

I picture myself looking up over the edge of these glasses to see the distance and imagine that I look exactly like my father when he imitates my departed grandfather. I'm looking up over my cheaters and seeing my old, decaying self. (Dear friends, remind me not to wear them in front of cute boys.)

In stitching news: I'm in a race with Donna to see who can get the RR in the mail first. Of course, I have a two hour head start being as I'm a "liberal democrat from the east coast." (I say that with a little wink.)

7 comments:

Leah said...

I think your cheaters are pretty cool; however, I probably would be considered middle-aged and, therefore, not a good judge of cool. I think. When does middle-age start?

xsquared said...

I like them! Way snazzier than my glasses.

Michelle said...

"Gus Hansen in Monaco" ... that sure beats Sean Connery reading me Dr. Seuss in the dark. Can I borrow this one?

Lee said...

Oh no, darlin', you're not middle aged yet.

Just wait....wait until the day you sit on them/step on them/close the car door on them and bend them all up... and you HAVE to wear them because you can't find any of your other Dollar Store glasses and you can't see to read and so you wear them all bent up and crooked anyway. And then your husband and kids tell you that you look like a lunatic and you don't even care.

THAT's middle age. Not that I would know.

Glenna said...

What a hoot about the cheaters! I know the feeling: I got progressive lenses (no bifocal line). And I'm enjoying your postings about what you're getting for lunch. I need to do it too--between breakfast and lunch at work, I'm spending an easy $10 a day. Yikes. But that does call for me to plan food. We buy lots of food at the grocery store, and then don't make it. Or something. Or it's not conducive to a quick put-together for lunch. Like the big gorgeous roast in the freezer. Nice, but a big hunk of frozen raw roast isn't going to do it. And Matthew McC? Nah--too young and smirky for me. Someone more mature--like Donald Sutherland. Now THAT's middle-aged dreaming.

Melissa said...

Well I just lost all train of thought and keep reading the Matthew McConnaughy lines over and over.

Dianne said...

Cheaters...that's a good description. I went to bifocals a few years ago. I did get the seamless ones though. : )
I like your 'visions', I like them a lot.