Cross-Stitch Donation

Friends, I am sorry that I haven't been around to read and comment or to even answer your comments which I know is very bad form but I am having a difficult year. But enough about me...

An old friend recently lost her father, and as she goes through the things he collected in this life she is trying to find the right people for the stuff. She recently came upon a couple of boxes of cross stitch books and pamphlets. She surmises he picked them up at a yard sale, as was his habit. She doesn't want to send everything off to Goodwill, but she is hoping there is a group, perhaps one doing good works, who might be interested.  (I think she wants to handle this in bulk rather than become an ebay seller or the like.)

Please comment if you have any ideas!

I'll be back, friends, I know I will.

Another Way to Declutter

Hey, thanks all for the compliments on my wreath. As Doris pointed out the trick with these wreaths is to go big or go home. Actually, you can tell that's sort of a motto 'round these parts with the bold door color. People are often afraid of bold colors but they love them once someone else has done it. I know a secret about color though...you can always change it. I grew up in a house of the changing door color. Our house was black ("charcoal grey" according to my mother) and the door was an ever-evolving rainbow: bright yellow, hot pink, periwinkle. Why not? Paint's cheap and a door is a small project. But I digress...Thanks for all your comments and suggestions for the Harry Potter presents; I'll let you know what we decide.

Did you know that A. C. Moore is encouraging crafters to drop off new or gently used craft supplies at their stores for donation to their local Boys & Girls Club. Gently used? Well, at any rate, here's a place for you to take the crap you're never going to use--and no one wants to buy off you--and give it a good home.

Here are some other links to people who would be interested in your gently used supplies:

• Skye at Crafting a Green World created a list of where to donate fabric
• Pine Ridge Reservation needs supplies for school children. They don't ask for cross-stitch supplies, but they do want things that I know you have
• Art with a Heart will accept your supplies
• If you're too far away from these places, check with your local schools, domestic violence shelters, retirement centers, day care centers, and, ahem, churches. Think globally, act locally!
  

Still, if you're going to A.C. Moore anyway...it'll save you the postage.

This Won't Make Things Better

I have tried to email Barbara to explain that I was not attacking her personally. The only reason her name ended up in the blog at all was that she rightly pointed out that I was being unnecessarily pedantic when it came to Zohrah's English. Zohrah seems to have taken it all with good humor, pointing out her knowledge of languages, so I hope Barbara will accept that I was not being pointed in any way. As Diane commented, more than a few of my readers are into it. I wasn't commenting on any one particular person's undertakings.

The Dude reminded me, yet again, that not everyone has had that special experience of excessive graduate school in cultural studies which leads one to be able to disassociate from any given topic, allowing one to discuss personal issues "theoretically." Unless they can't... disassociate, that is. Then they end up teaching high school. (That's a joke, people.)

The reason I didn't like the question was that our responses had to begin from the position that all charity is good, and therefore, we should all participate in it. Many people will say this assumption, that all charity is equally good, is one that they can live with. (Some will say that this assumption was not made, but I will discuss that below.) But I spent so much time thinking in grad school because I believe all assumptions must be challenged. We know that there was an underlying assumption that we should all participate because of the apologetic answers that people who don't participate in charity stitching gave. "No, but I really should." Well, why should you, really? If you feed people at the soup kitchen, or collect warm clothes for women in halfway houses, or bring toys to the marines every year, is that enough? Do you have to give your hobby over too? Couldn't your hobby be a way to refresh yourself so that you have more energy to give to volunteering at the old folks home?

I will continue to say nothing about what I do or do not do for charity. So many people have assumed that I don't do charitable work. This is another reason we know people subscribe to the false assumption that charity is always good. (Just ask the East Timorese about the Thigh Masters that took up room on the boats bringing charitable aid what they think of that assumption.) Good works=good people. Bad people don't do good works. (The mind boggles.) If you question good works, you can't be a good person. That is a logical fallacy.

Criticism doesn't equal rejection. If I raise questions about something that I do, does that make me better or worse than someone who does things unthinkingly? than someone who doesn't do them at all? than someone who feels guilty because she isn't doing charity? If I make other people think about why they are doing something, why is that so bad?

More on Charity

Barbara is correct that the original SBQ may have been posed by a nonnative speaker, and I firmly believe in saving the grammar-bitchiness for people who have ostensibly been speaking English all of their lives. Singapore does use English as the language of government. Nevertheless, her English is better than my Malay, so we'll let it rest.

The real question is why do I hate charity stitchers. (I suddenly feel like I'm on Fox News.) I don't. I have no problem with them.

But I do have problems with people talking about their charity. To me, the point of charity is to help people quietly. Do your good deed, then move on. Now, I understand advertising the need for charity. But what you do about it is your business. Another example, beyond the blogging world: I'm not all that enamoured of my company's "holiday exchange" this year: we're supposed to send a list of the places that received our charitable dollars, which will be read aloud (the donations will be anonymous and, of course, the amounts won't be read). This too goes against my grain, except that pet projects will get "advertising." Still, what I do with my time and money is my bidness.

I find it incredibly ironic that people who are worried about how their stitched gifts are received by ungrateful relatives (see SBQ, October 26) would send their stitching to strangers. Do all the women stitching Habitat for Humanity samplers really think those things are so well-loved? That they'll hang in all these houses forever? I'm thinking those samplers are among the first things that come off the walls. In fact, I have a friend who works in a hospital, one where charity stitchers make layettes for the poor and sick infants. The poor mothers hate the layettes. To them, having homemade items isn't a symbol of caring; it's a symbol of being poor. They'd rather have store bought! It's such an irony.

Send your stitched goods wherever you want. Just don't be surprised when not everyone appreciates you.

SBQ:Charity

Have you done any charity stitching, been in one, or would like to organize one? This is one of those times when I should just shut up, but you know I can't. Is this question literate? I mean, we all know what is meant, but can you parse it? I thought not.

My immediate response to this question was, "ugh!" And my perusal of responses demonstrated that there were only a few ways to answer this question:

1. "Oh, no, I'm too much of a perfectionist."
2. "I really should, but..."
3. "Yes, of course, let me tell you how self-satisfied I am or how charity makes the world revolve."
4. "No, but I gave at the office."

I've always been one of those people who believed some things are just private, religion among them (esp now with the demogogues telling us that liberals hate Christmas). Some stuff you should just do, and then shut up about it. The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.--William Hutton