December Wrap-Up

* finish sissy's laptop bag
I've just got to finish the strap and felt it...close
* design, make, and send Christmas cards
Prototypes complete 12/5, but I was gluing them right up until we left for New Hampshire. The move, blame everything on the move!
* work on the dude's Christmas sweater
The dude and I decided to exchange paint for Christmas. He knows I always bite off more than I can chew, so his real gift to me was to agree that this is Just a Sweater I Am Knitting for Him. No deadlines. Where on earth did I find him?
* maybe stitch some ornies
Maybe. Right.

I completed the Pins and Needles needlebook, Enough is as a Feast, and a scarf for my littlest niece--fuzzy blue with silver eyelash to match her silver coat. She's a doll, I tell you!

Are you ready for it? Happy New Year!

SBQ: Life Gets in the Way

How do you balance your stitching time with your other obligations such as work, household chores, etc.? I sometimes hate that I have to go to work because there is something else I'd rather be doing. OTOH, going to work means I have the money to do that other thing. As far as household chores, when we lived in L.A., we had someone in to clean the apartment, which left me free time. Now, the dude and I share the chores, and can make quick work of them.

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In yesterday's grand accounting, I forgot the three ornaments I did when the new JCS Ornament Issue was released: Mosey n' Me's Molly Dog; Angel Stitchin' Christmas Tree; and Little by Little's Little Present. Ah, more for the finishing pile, which seems to be up to 53 items. Yikes!

Year in Review

At the beginning of 2005, my WIP/UFO pile included:
Shepherd's Bush, Toy Gatherer--made headway, in fact, it's nearing completion
Heart's Content, Williamsburg Doorway--completed!
Drawn Thread, Baby Band Sampler--completed!
L&L, Enchanted Alphabet--made headway by sending it as a round robin
Moss Creek, Elizabethan Rose --no, magnifier in storage
Forget-Me-Nots-in-Stitches, Pins and Needles Smalls--completed!
Hardanger Napkin Rings--did not work on it
Drawn Thread, Alpine Garden--did not work on it
Nutmeg Needle, Treasured Tulips--did not work on it
Dimples Designs, St. Basil's Cathedral--did not work on it
Watercolor Geranium--did not work on it
Majestic Rooster--did not work on it

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I completed the following pieces:
Heart's Content, Williamsburg Doorway
Drawn Thread, Baby Band Sampler
Forget-Me-Nots-in-Stitches, Pins and Needles Smalls
Prairie Schooler, 2x2 Animals II, baboons
Bent Creek, Flower Arch Angel
HIHN Angelica, Wool Whimsy
A Whimsical Element, Flip Flop Fun
Indigo Rose, pin cushion
San Man Originals, patriotic freebie
Lavendar Wings, Sara
Mary Garry Sewing Cabin, Needlebook freebie
Anne, Petite Bergere
Ewe and Eye and Friends, Vous et Nul Autre
Mill Hill, Polar Santa
Yarn Tree, Grandfather Frost
BOAF, Moon Garden
La-D-Da, A-Z and In Between
Krienik, Enough is as a Feast

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And I knit:
handpainted yarn Booga Bag
brown and pink Booga Bag
black and purple eyelash Booga Bag
purple Sophie Bag
Sissy's poncho
hat and scarf for cousin
Scarf for Sissy's best friend
Scarf for neice

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Although I did finish 25% of the UFOs, I wish I had been able to make more headway on the that list. I have to admit that I wasn't very dedicated, but I also had issues related to the move--so much essential equipment was in storage, including some of these UFOs. I am going to make completing these and, in fact, finishing many of the completed projects a priority in 2006. In between fixing up the house. Right.

Boobies II

May I present the almost infamous boob ornament. My sister thinks it looks like hairy boobs. The effect was supposed to be a feather boa. What do you say?

Merry Christmas

1.What is your favorite Christmas carol/song? I love to sing "Silver Bells" to myself when I'm in the bustle of the city.
2.White lights or multicolored? White.
3. Do you have a cut tree, live tree or an artificial tree? Usually, artificial since we travel for Christmas. This year, nuthin' on accounta we just moved in.
4. Eggnog, mulled cider, or hot chocolate? One quart of eggnog per year. Then it's hot chocolate, homemade.
5. Do you decorate your house with lights?No.
6. Do you write a Christmas letter? Yes, but it's a good read.
7. Do you like receiving Christmas letters/photos? My mother's cousin's wife writes the most (unintentionally) hilarious letter every year. So, yes. I'm not too keen on pictures, though.
8. What is your favorite Christmas story/movie? White Christmas, my sister and I love singing along to "Sisters." Of the animated features, it's definitely Year without a Santa Claus; gotta love the Miser Brothers.
9. Have you ever made a gingerbread house? No.
10. Poinsettias or holly? Poinsettias.
11. Do you display a nativity scene? No, my Christmas is about Santa Claus.
12. Do you bake Christmas cookies? No.
13. Ham or turkey? Lobster stew.
14. In what languages can you wish someone a Merry Christmas (without cheating)? English, French, Spanish, Swedish.
15. Do you know all the words to Jingle Bells? I believe I do.
16. Do you put presents under the tree? Yes, the ones that fit.
17. How do you eat a candy cane? I like to melt it into a hot drink.
18. What is your biggest holidays pet peeve? People bellyaching in line at the Post Office. Did you forget it was the same shit last year or what? It makes the line go so much faster and and it's a real holiday treat for the rest of us.
19. What is your favorite Christmas tradition? Waking everyone in the house up at the crack of dawn on Christmas day. Yes, I'm in touch with my inner child!
20. What was the best present you ever got for Christmas? The best present is the one I get every year, time to spend with my extended family.

Joyeux Noel Merry Christmas Feliz Navidad Gott Jul

One

Coming at you from the frozen north!

My list is looking pretty good!
finish Christmas letter
create return address labels
address cards
mail cards
wrap Christmas presents
find something to wear for Christmas eve party
find something to wear for Christmas day
pack for trip to frozen north
unpack boxes

Sigh. That last one is going to be an ongoing project. It feels like it might take f.o.r.e.v.e.r.

I also don't know how sissy's laptop bag fell off the list. I worked on that in the airport and on the plane. But I'm not done. Don't panic. I won't panic. I won't panic. Iwon'tpanic.Iwon'tpanic.Iwon'tpanic.Iwon'tpanic.Iwon'tpanic.
Poor sissy; she's been getting the fuzzy end of the lollipop these few years. But soon, she'll be living with us and she'll be able to monitor the laptop bag progress.

I will get a photo of the boobie ornament. I was under deadline on that one and had to mail it off before I had a chance to take a picture. But the women in the exchange want to see it as much as you do, so it will be photographed in all its glory. You'll have to make allowances for Christmas, I'm afraid. Have a happy one.

In Honor of My Mom's Quilt Shop

A new blog on the horizon: Los hilas de la vida. Once again we see how "just stitching" is really so much more.

An article about this group, "Stories in stitches tell of peril, hope 'Threads of Life' sewing project also helps build literacy in southern Mendocino County," which appeared yesterday in the San Francisco Chronicle, says that donations are welcome. They are seeking sewing machines in working condition, thread, batting, decorative materials, good quality fabric, and other sewing supplies. Contact Deanna Smith Apfel. Cash donations also welcome. Contact Molly Johnson-Martinez at the Anderson Valley Adult School, (707) 895-3277.

Boobies!*

We interrupt your regularly scheduled Christmas countdown to discuss a secret present that has been received!

Taking a page out of San's book, I decided to make a felt ornament for a friend. To make a long story short, we had been talking about boobs. I thought it would be funny to make my felt ornament look like a pair of tits. I used a salt shaker to draw my template on pink felt. I overlapped them a bit so that they would maintain some kind of ornament integrity (really, I lost all integrity when I came up with the idea for a boob ornament). I used blush for the areolas. I made Rhodes stitch nipples. Then I sewed them together halfway around. I put cardboard circles inside so that when I stuffed them, they'd only poof out in the front. I sewed one breast about 3/4 closed then stuffed it with, what else?, the time honored traditional kleenex. I did my best to make them look almost alike. Every woman knows, however, after intense study, that her girls just don't match. Okay, every natural woman knows this to be true. Then I stitched in some cleavage.

So there I was with a droopy rack. Not very interesting. I had also included a gift of a pink feather boa for my friend. So I got out some pink eyelash yarn and stitched it around the twins. I also made a hanger with the stuff. So now it's just a weird, Mae West-esque, Christmas ornament. It makes a better story than a decoration.

The whole time I was making it, I was singing "Santa Baby" to myself.

*A few years ago, my sister and I were in Victoria's Secret in the Beverly Center. This little boy, probably about 3, went up to a mannequin and grabbed her boobs in both hands and shrieked, "boobies!" at the top of his voice. I almost wet myself, I was laughing so hard. We still crack up when one of us yells, "boobies!" We're easily amused.

Four

I ran around at lunch yesterday and managed to find some things to wear. In the evening, I alternated between unpacking the boxes in the bedroom (mostly clothes) and working on the Christmas cards. This morning, I couldn't find my brown shoes. I opened up a bag and found the purple sweater I was looking for yesterday. Of course.

finish Christmas letter
create return address labels
address cards
mail cards
wrap Christmas presents
find something to wear for Christmas eve party
find something to wear for Christmas day
pack for trip to frozen north
unpack boxes

As to Carol's comment yesterday, there's plenty to go around! We can discuss the exchange later.

Countdown--5 days

Today, I stood among the boxes in my bedroom searching frantically for something to wear to work that would also be slightly festive for the holiday party at 3:00. My beaded Polish vest is too small. When did I gain weight, and all in my tits? My purple sweater with the fake fur collar is nowhere.

But there seem to be boxes of shit everywhere. Let me tell you, seeing all my stash and craft supplies boxed up and piled up makes me embarrassed. There's so much of it. When did I buy so much stuff?

I haven't sent my Christmas cards. I haven't finished the Christmas letter. Labels, what labels? How will I ever get this done in five days?

News of the Weird and Wonderful

I have gmail set up to send me news stories about cross-stitch as they hit the web. Mostly, I get announcements about "stitch and bitch" sessions and craft fairs (sadly none in my area) or obituaries where the dead woman will be remembered for her love of cross-stitch. Recently, they sent me a link to this story about Jang Dong Gun's visit to Singapore (that's him in the Korean movie, The Brotherhood of War).

"Meanwhile, one of his fans, Miss Jennifer Chan, 39, has prepared her own memento for her idol - a cross-stitch piece of his handsome face.

The administrative manager said she spent more than three months on the handicraft which she's mounted on a photo album.

'He can afford to buy anything he wants, so I'd rather make something special for him. It comes from my heart, and it carries my good wishes,' said Miss Chen."

I know I have commented before on how weird I think it is to cross-stitch celebrity faces, but there's something heartwarming about this story, sweet even.

This Won't Make Things Better

I have tried to email Barbara to explain that I was not attacking her personally. The only reason her name ended up in the blog at all was that she rightly pointed out that I was being unnecessarily pedantic when it came to Zohrah's English. Zohrah seems to have taken it all with good humor, pointing out her knowledge of languages, so I hope Barbara will accept that I was not being pointed in any way. As Diane commented, more than a few of my readers are into it. I wasn't commenting on any one particular person's undertakings.

The Dude reminded me, yet again, that not everyone has had that special experience of excessive graduate school in cultural studies which leads one to be able to disassociate from any given topic, allowing one to discuss personal issues "theoretically." Unless they can't... disassociate, that is. Then they end up teaching high school. (That's a joke, people.)

The reason I didn't like the question was that our responses had to begin from the position that all charity is good, and therefore, we should all participate in it. Many people will say this assumption, that all charity is equally good, is one that they can live with. (Some will say that this assumption was not made, but I will discuss that below.) But I spent so much time thinking in grad school because I believe all assumptions must be challenged. We know that there was an underlying assumption that we should all participate because of the apologetic answers that people who don't participate in charity stitching gave. "No, but I really should." Well, why should you, really? If you feed people at the soup kitchen, or collect warm clothes for women in halfway houses, or bring toys to the marines every year, is that enough? Do you have to give your hobby over too? Couldn't your hobby be a way to refresh yourself so that you have more energy to give to volunteering at the old folks home?

I will continue to say nothing about what I do or do not do for charity. So many people have assumed that I don't do charitable work. This is another reason we know people subscribe to the false assumption that charity is always good. (Just ask the East Timorese about the Thigh Masters that took up room on the boats bringing charitable aid what they think of that assumption.) Good works=good people. Bad people don't do good works. (The mind boggles.) If you question good works, you can't be a good person. That is a logical fallacy.

Criticism doesn't equal rejection. If I raise questions about something that I do, does that make me better or worse than someone who does things unthinkingly? than someone who doesn't do them at all? than someone who feels guilty because she isn't doing charity? If I make other people think about why they are doing something, why is that so bad?

SBQ: Blogging Stitchers

What do you prefer to read in stitching blogs? (Progress, tips, family life, experiences, etc.) How much do you think you are influenced by other stitching bloggers?
When it comes to stitching blogs, I totally shut down if there is too much "family life" and not enough stitching. OTOH, I get bored with progress-report-only blogs. I often feel like mine is too much of the latter, and then I go out and try to find stories about stitching to comment on. I like blogs where people think about what they're doing, not just report on what they're doing. It's a difficult standard to live up to, I even have trouble doing it myself, so I do cut people slack. Lots of it. Even on the grammar thing, believe it or not.

I think I'm influenced by others insofar as visiting blogs can be like a virtual shopping trip--I get to see what other people are working on. Still, I haven't fallen into the dyed fabric craze that seems to have infected a lot of bloggers lately. No, I'd say my tastes haven't changed because of blogs, just my access to good pictures. In fact, do too many projects that I can't respect, and I probably won't read your blog all that often. I do feel that I get motivation from other stitchers. I was motivated to focus on finishing more of my UFOs this year and last. Next year, I hope to focus on finishing period. It would be nice to have my pieces on display in the new joint.

More on Charity

Barbara is correct that the original SBQ may have been posed by a nonnative speaker, and I firmly believe in saving the grammar-bitchiness for people who have ostensibly been speaking English all of their lives. Singapore does use English as the language of government. Nevertheless, her English is better than my Malay, so we'll let it rest.

The real question is why do I hate charity stitchers. (I suddenly feel like I'm on Fox News.) I don't. I have no problem with them.

But I do have problems with people talking about their charity. To me, the point of charity is to help people quietly. Do your good deed, then move on. Now, I understand advertising the need for charity. But what you do about it is your business. Another example, beyond the blogging world: I'm not all that enamoured of my company's "holiday exchange" this year: we're supposed to send a list of the places that received our charitable dollars, which will be read aloud (the donations will be anonymous and, of course, the amounts won't be read). This too goes against my grain, except that pet projects will get "advertising." Still, what I do with my time and money is my bidness.

I find it incredibly ironic that people who are worried about how their stitched gifts are received by ungrateful relatives (see SBQ, October 26) would send their stitching to strangers. Do all the women stitching Habitat for Humanity samplers really think those things are so well-loved? That they'll hang in all these houses forever? I'm thinking those samplers are among the first things that come off the walls. In fact, I have a friend who works in a hospital, one where charity stitchers make layettes for the poor and sick infants. The poor mothers hate the layettes. To them, having homemade items isn't a symbol of caring; it's a symbol of being poor. They'd rather have store bought! It's such an irony.

Send your stitched goods wherever you want. Just don't be surprised when not everyone appreciates you.

SBQ:Charity

Have you done any charity stitching, been in one, or would like to organize one? This is one of those times when I should just shut up, but you know I can't. Is this question literate? I mean, we all know what is meant, but can you parse it? I thought not.

My immediate response to this question was, "ugh!" And my perusal of responses demonstrated that there were only a few ways to answer this question:

1. "Oh, no, I'm too much of a perfectionist."
2. "I really should, but..."
3. "Yes, of course, let me tell you how self-satisfied I am or how charity makes the world revolve."
4. "No, but I gave at the office."

I've always been one of those people who believed some things are just private, religion among them (esp now with the demogogues telling us that liberals hate Christmas). Some stuff you should just do, and then shut up about it. The charity that hastens to proclaim its good deeds, ceases to be charity, and is only pride and ostentation.--William Hutton

Finished the Stripes!

I have completed knitting the front and back of Sissy's laptop bag. Last night, the house was so cold, I knit with the fabric laid out over my legs. That is going to be one really warm laptop!

This morning on the train, I finished the Pins and Needles Needlebook. I took this smalls class from Lauren Sauer in 1995. Now, it's done. Done is good.

Pictures soon.

Christmas cards galore!

Cheryl asked that I post pictures of the prototypes of my Christmas cards. So here they are. Right now there are five, but I might push myself to six. It will depend on whether time runs out or not. FWIW, my sixth card would be Christmas bulbs xeroxed onto acetate and then the wrong side filled in with glitter. I have stamped the oringal to xerox, and I will have to see what it would cost, surely cheaper than the $23 to buy 100 sheets of acetate at Staples (but I only need 5!). Would I have time for all that painting with glitter???

I got the elements completed for three, almost four, of the cards below. All that's left is the gluing!

This card is copied from either Stamper's Sampler or Take Ten. In fact, it sent me off in search of my local Stampin' Up supplier (yay, Amy!) because I really liked the tall tree (Nice and Narrow). I love the retro color combinations with brown: pink and brown here, and aqua and brown for my new bedroom. I added the versamark stars on this one. It needed something.

Stamp tree in brown on white cardstock (this is cocoa, but later ones are stamped with a darker brown ink). Color in ornaments and star. Smear edges of cardstock with brown ink. Layer to pink polka dot paper (again smeared with brown ink). Stamp versamark stars on one half of the card. Mount stamped image to card.

I had originally thought I might add a round metal rimmed tag with a sentiment and sprinkled with pink glitter. I also thought I'd like to make the ornaments glittery. But I tried to do this all with stuff on hand, and my sister is currently on the west coast, in possession of the glitter. Maybe next year...

Country Christmas

The card on the right is my rendition of a card that we made at a Stampin' Up Stamp-a-Stack. I didn't have the tall trees stamp set, which I think might be a hostess set, but I do have Nice and Narrow, so I used that instead. My niece helped me age the green paper (even a five year old can crumple card stock!), and I think she was really proud to help. Mine is much more roughed up than the original. On that one, we sort of just shredded the edges with our fingernails. Too hard on my weak nails! An emery board also works...

Stamp background on rusty red cardstock. In the original version, we used the Stampin' Up background stamp (canvas, I think). I used a Judikins Thin Lines Cube; I used the cross-hatching. Stamp tree on cream cardstock (the original uses confetti cardstock). Color in tree, ornaments, and star. Layer with brown cardstock (this one has a nubbley texture). Cut a 3.5" x 4" piece of green cardstock. Crumple. Fold 1/2" on short side. Attach brads to hold it flat(ter). (I used antique brass, original was black.) Mount tree to green stock. Mount green stock to card.

Grinch Joy

This card reminds me of the color combinations and graphics in the recent live action Grinch movie. It's made with a Stampin' Up set from the holiday mini catalog (the tree, sorry I can't find the name) and Tidy Alpabet. The graphic paper is from a Joann's summer set that I got for 75% off!

Stamp tree with green on white cardstock. Overstamp garland in silver. Glue star "jewel" over the stamped star. Edge the cardstock with pink ink. Mount to patterned paper. Stamp "Joy" with pink ink on patterned paper. (I love how this alphabet works on patterned paper!) Mount to black cardstock. Mount on green cardstock.

All the elements are prepared for this card. I should be able to slap glue them together in no time (no more time!).

Blue Joy

This is the same card done with the retro color combination of pink, blue, and silver. It got the addition of the sparkly silver embossed edges because my cousin told me "it needed something." Oh, it got something.

Stamp tree in baby blue on white cardstock. Under the tree stamp "JOY" in silver. Stamp garland on tree in silver. Attach small clear star "jewel" over stamped star. Edge the cardstock with silver ink. Layer with light blue stock (I didn't have a good color match, so I brayered the blue ink onto a slick white card stock. It never dried, so I did the hairspray trick.) Stamp dots in pink ink on light pink card stock. Edge the card with versamark ink. Emboss with sparkly silver. Mount the tree element to the pink card.

I finished the white cardstock elements last night. The cards are prepared and have the dots stamped on them. I still need to do the silver embossing on them, but I think I'm going to get a versamark pen to make that go quicker.

The metallic silver ink (Colorbox) got all over my hands when I picked up the elements that had been left to dry overnight. Besides sealing them with hairspray, my sealant du jour, are there options?

Snowy card

This card is my innocuous "holiday" card. It seems unfinished to me still. I was thinking of getting a versamark pen, writing "snow" across the top and adding the same embossing powder as the snowflake. OTOH, it's a pretty simple card as is. We'll see.

Directions: versamark snowflake stamp ($1 at AC Moore!) on light blue card. Chalk over the images with light blue. Stamp snowflake on pink cardstock with versamark ink. Emboss with snowflake tinsel (I think). It's a nubly white with silver glitter--I liked it better than the plain nubbly white called "snowflake" appropriately enough. Rub white ink on the edges of the pink cardstock. Mount to blue cardstock. Inside will read "Warm Winter Wishes."

Although I finished the prototype this weekend, I didn't make any progress on completing the elements.

Grrr

Last night I sat down and put about 10 rows into the laptop bag before I realized I was reading the wrong pattern! I had to take out the whole back of the bag.

I hate how most knitting patterns are written. It's like they're too lazy to make each pattern individually. Instead, they put changes in parentheses at the end of each step. I'm working on the laptop bag which is much like the messenger bag from Stitch n' Bitch Nation. Except that one's nothing like the other! For one you cast on ten for the bottom, the other 30. The one with ten knits up to a long strip. The one with thirty is a square. The only thing that's similar is that they are both striped. With two different striping patterns. See what I mean? I've xeroxed the pattern, and I'm crossing out that which does not apply. But I'm still shaking my fist at the pattern writers.

I promise on Monday to have photos of my Christmas card prototypes. I'll probably do 4 different types so I don't get bored. I'm going to try to have all the pieces prepped by then because I want to bring some of our shit my craft supplies back to the storage unit to make moving easier.

Thanks for your well-wishes for the house that we are buying. I'm right to be worried. The dude's English bank is giving us a hard time about transferring some funds to our American bank. They want him to go into his local branch. Like he can pop 'round tomorrow. I thought we were living in a global economy.

December Goals

As you have learned, this month I will be moving into a new house. This old house was occupied by two old ladies in succession, and I'm pretty sure no decorating has been done since they painted over the wallpaper that was in every room on the first floor. We'll be tearing up carpets, taking down wallpaper, painting, painting, and painting. I'm not sure how much stitching will get done over the next few months. But I will still commute: 2 hours for half the month, then down to one hour for the rest of my life (or however long we stay!). So I am making small stitching goals for this month:

• finish sissy's laptop bag
• design, make, and send Christmas cards
• work on the dude's Christmas sweater
• maybe stitch some ornies

SBQ: Stitching Rules

Do you have rules in the way you stitch? (i.e., Do you start in the middle? Do you determine which blocks to stitch first? Do you always start from the top or the bottom? Do you have special paths to prevent wasting thread?) No rules. I tend to start in the middle because I'm not very good calculating where else to start. Other than that, I go where my heart takes me.

I once met a woman, an engineer, who plotted out her path for all of her stitching before she even picked up a needle. That strikes me as a colossal bore and a waste of time. She may be conserving floss, but that doesn't mean I'm profligate. After all, how much money is she saving by coming out four inches of floss ahead of me?